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#6626 |
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DANG!
Join Date: May 2009
Location: 7th Heaven
Posts: 13,529
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Bankruptcy and infidelity - the downfall of their marriage.
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"Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me - Don Vito Corleone .................................................. .................................................. ..........
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#6627 |
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I.am.NOT.new!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: visiting old friends aka LOONS here on AW that STILL make me spew tea. bib, please.
Posts: 9,196
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Marriage Made in Heaven is an oxymoron.
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#6628 |
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Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
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Oxymoron is the hybrid species created from crossing an ox with a moron.
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![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. |
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#6629 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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Moron W. Dunce is a former President of the United States.
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![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#6630 |
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Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
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States of confusion in 2009 are defined by those who still fly Confederate flags.
__________________
![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. |
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#6631 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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Flags are sometimes flown upside down to signal distress.
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![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#6632 |
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Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
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Distress was greatly relieved by sympathy, support, compassion--and a check for millions of dollars.
__________________
![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. |
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#6633 |
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DANG!
Join Date: May 2009
Location: 7th Heaven
Posts: 13,529
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Dollars hidden under the mattress belonged to Granny.
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"Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me - Don Vito Corleone .................................................. .................................................. ..........
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#6634 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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"Granny never got to see those dollars, unfortunately," said Detective Lieutenant Smithers, "and there are only three people in this room who would benefit from her unusual drowning in the fish bowl."
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![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#6635 |
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DANG!
Join Date: May 2009
Location: 7th Heaven
Posts: 13,529
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Bowl of fish used as murder weapon, the headlines read.
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"Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me - Don Vito Corleone .................................................. .................................................. ..........
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#6636 |
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carpe libri
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: never in the here and now
Posts: 2,961
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Read CATCH 22 to find out about the dead man in Yossarian's tent.
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#6637 |
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I.am.NOT.new!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: visiting old friends aka LOONS here on AW that STILL make me spew tea. bib, please.
Posts: 9,196
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Tent: a chronic morning issue for men in where the blankets have a tendency to 'pitch' to high points upon awakening.
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#6638 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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Awakening, Beverly looked up and saw a mirrored ceiling, and after pulling herself up she realized that she was in a huge bed in a room whose walls were decorated in weird psychedelic patterns, and as colored lights flashed everywhere and the sound of U2 filled the room all she could think was, "How did I get here?"
__________________
![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#6639 |
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Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
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"Here? You want to stop here?" she said, peering out at the sign which read, "Bates Motel".
__________________
![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. |
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#6640 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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Motel 6 is opening a new chain of establishments called Motel 666, but only in places that are known to be cursed.
__________________
![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#6641 |
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I.am.NOT.new!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: visiting old friends aka LOONS here on AW that STILL make me spew tea. bib, please.
Posts: 9,196
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![]() Sorry. Uh hem. Cursed, she lifted from the couch, arched her back, which crackled like a famous cereal bragging the same ability, then howled at the full moon, much to her bared-assed husband's amusement. Last edited by Inky; 09-26-2009 at 05:13 PM. Reason: Woof..his rep...one should not laugh and type at the same time!!!!! |
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#6642 |
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Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
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Amusement parks are places where you can scream in the haunted house, vomit on the roller coaster, or take liberties in the tunnel of love.
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![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. Last edited by Woof; 09-26-2009 at 05:36 PM. |
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#6643 |
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I.am.NOT.new!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: visiting old friends aka LOONS here on AW that STILL make me spew tea. bib, please.
Posts: 9,196
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Love American Style, a sitcom tune I STILL can't get outa my head!
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#6644 |
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Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
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Head lice generally prefer habitation in a nice thick bouffant, rather than a bald dome.
__________________
![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. |
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#6645 |
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I.am.NOT.new!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: visiting old friends aka LOONS here on AW that STILL make me spew tea. bib, please.
Posts: 9,196
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Dome-buffing, in some countries, is believed to heighten sexual arrousal.
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#6646 |
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Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
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Arousal of the active volcano was preceded by a great trembling followed by a massive eruption, then an explosion which spewed thousands of rocks and molten lava onto the defenseless village.
__________________
![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. |
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#6647 |
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Benefactor Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in the shadow of Lincoln Center
Posts: 29,106
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Village People have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
__________________
![]() There is no way of writing well and also of writing easily. -- Anthony Trollope |
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#6648 |
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Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
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Fame is a wonderful thing to achieve--if you don't mind being hounded day and night by the paparazzi.
__________________
![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. |
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#6649 |
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DANG!
Join Date: May 2009
Location: 7th Heaven
Posts: 13,529
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Paparazzi parked outside my house makes me nervous.
__________________
"Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me - Don Vito Corleone .................................................. .................................................. ..........
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#6650 |
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Outward Hound
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dogpatch
Posts: 19,947
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Nervous twitches emanating from his face caused women to believe that he was winking at them wickedly.
__________________
![]() Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. |
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