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Old 04-14-2012, 05:54 AM   #2976
slcboston
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slcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
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I expected a commonality, a camaraderie in the communion of the artificial with the whole. There was none. For them the artificial occupied a part of the totality of the whole, whereas my entire totality was wholly artificial.
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Old 04-14-2012, 08:02 PM   #2977
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slcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate complimentsslcboston is so great that we've run out of appropriate compliments
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Better to be haunted by the dead than the living. The dead are easily dealt with; the living tend to keep coming back.
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Old 04-14-2012, 11:31 PM   #2978
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This is from my current WIP: Witches, especially failed ones, shouldn't take up sword-fighting.
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Old 04-15-2012, 04:44 PM   #2979
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It turned out I was also in a closet.

At least there weren’t any dead bodies.

Last edited by Psychotic.Pink; 04-15-2012 at 04:44 PM. Reason: Spacing...
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:12 AM   #2980
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My best friend got a kick out of this from my first novel:

As he came closer to me, a thought clicked on my mind and I yelled, "Boys!"

A half dozen or so men came rushing to my desk. Perfect.

"Take this shag rug out for a beating!"

Skye turned. All the men stading there glared at him with evil, hot eyes. The look on his face was priceless.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:19 AM   #2981
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic.Pink View Post
It turned out I was also in a closet.

At least there weren’t any dead bodies.
Creepy! Love this! Now I want to read it!
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:22 AM   #2982
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppysInARow View Post
I abuse this thread. Horribly. Cart me to jail.

Tom doesn't like being woken up in the middle of the night:
Hysterical! Love that quote! Orgies with Sarah clones? LMAO!
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:27 AM   #2983
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I quite like this one, it takes place just after a battle in chapter 3:

Quote:
Small, dark circles blossomed on the sand as raindrops fell. The wind increased, and the air around Resios was fresh with newly released scents of the earth. He looked to Lekos and already saw streaks of dust and rainwater trickle down his body.
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Old 04-17-2012, 01:24 AM   #2984
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Scary, but why not...

Dressed in formal black, a white carnation pinned to his lapel, it looked like the only day he had any interest in would be his last. Prepared for that occasion from his bow tie to his patent leather shoes, so when that day finally comes he won't have to cause anyone any fuss.
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Old 04-17-2012, 01:28 AM   #2985
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This thread is cool. I like seeing what people enjoy in their own writing. This is my favorite line of the book I just sent off to my beta readers:

"I was weak, arrogant, and threatened, and I answered the threat with a gun."
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:07 AM   #2986
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From a scene which may or may not make it into the final draft. One of those popped suddenly into your head and wrote it down future scenes which one is not sure if it'll make it, but was kinda fun to write. Anyway, the MC, Vlad, discovers one of his stable hands has sort of a crush on him through rumors and invites him to his bedchamber to find out if the rumors are true. He's never had feelings for another man before and finds it confusing, strange, yet exciting, and in this snippet brings himself close to the object of his new-found desire.

Quote:
“This is the truth you speak? You imagine me as your lover? In your dreams?” He was elated to know the rumors were true, yet somehow he wished they weren't.

“Sometimes. What will you have of me now, my lord?”


Vlad brought himself against Miklós's body, his warm breath grazing his cheek, “Only as much as you're willing to let me have.” He slid a hand about his waist. “Tell me,” he said, gazing into his moss green eyes, “how much will you allow me to have? Your hand? Your lips? Your neck? Tell me how much, and I won't take any more.”


Miklós swallowed hard, his hand sweaty in his. So nervous. Poor, poor man. Tell me to back away and we'll pretend none of this has happened. Just say it. Do us both a favor.


“My lord, you can have all of me,” he whispered.
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:35 AM   #2987
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Something I wrote a little while ago that I liked:

Quote:
As the door clicked shut behind him, he came back to himself, at least in part.
“Hello, Caroline,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind.”
What she was supposed to mind, she didn’t know. The meaninglessness of the words troubled her only a little less than the look in his eyes.
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:37 AM   #2988
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Mine...

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It was six o clock in the morning the sun was shining bright outside and the neighborhood was lively. While Mika lazed in her bed… she was debating whether to get out of bed or to attempt to fall back asleep. Mika decided to get up – she walked over to the window and opened the curtains. Mika cursed at the sun under her breath about nature.

“Bloody sun nearly blinding me…” Mika thought to herself despite the fact her logic was skewed she simply did not care.

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Old 04-17-2012, 04:09 AM   #2989
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Here's a graph that opens a chapter after a character has gone on a terrific toot:


Morning had forced its unwelcome self on Rob Siler well before he was prepared for its stark reality. As unconsciousness slowly and with excruciating reluctance relaxed its steely grip, he was assaulted by the throbbing in his head, a reverberating, rhythmic pounding that ricocheted off the walls of his skull, as though it was not enough that he feel these pile drivers from hell. He must endure their obnoxious racket as well.
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Old 04-17-2012, 08:22 AM   #2990
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VanessaNorth View Post
This thread is cool. I like seeing what people enjoy in their own writing. This is my favorite line of the book I just sent off to my beta readers:

"I was weak, arrogant, and threatened, and I answered the threat with a gun."
Isn't it?
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Old 04-17-2012, 12:41 PM   #2991
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How I finally figured out how to describe my MC:

Quote:
You are your father’s child, the words were a bullet she had no chance to dodge. Claire wanted to peel off her brown skin, cover up her hazel eyes, rip out her ebony hair, and paint herself in her mother’s image with pale skin, blue eyes, and ash brown hair. Or look like anyone besides the man who stole her mother’s future fifteen years ago. But there was no escape from her own body.
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Old 04-20-2012, 08:59 AM   #2992
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This quote precedes the final confrontation between one of the protagonists and the primary antagonist:


The Wizard stepped out into the clearing, wearing a sneer that Lendlelott had seen only once before…when The Wizard knew something someone else didn’t. The Wizard began to laugh quietly, and drew his wand. He looked at Rab, tilting his head as though to get a better look at his enemy. Rab stared back with pure spite, breathing heavily.

“Well, well, well,” The Wizard said. “It has been quite a while, my boy.” He started pacing back and forth. “Finally we can talk one on one…man to man. It has been ten years since we spoke at length. Ten years -- you’ve grown a lot since then. It would be interesting to catch up on all your antics.

“Remember, though, when I said that we’d run out of things to say? And that when we did time would be up? Well,” The Wizard said as he sneered even more, “you are now out of time.” He raised his wand. “Ten years has been way too long. Prepare to die, Rab Resurian.”
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Old 04-20-2012, 09:05 AM   #2993
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A little bit of humor here from my novel, but very characteristic of The Hermit:


The Hermit frowned slightly as he surveyed his work; within a few moments, Saura staggered to his feet, his face redder than a tomato. “YOU ARE INSANE!” the dwarf shouted, brushing himself off.

“YES I AM!!!!” The Hermit shouted back, louder by far. The old man turned back to Lendlelott, winked, and muttered: “and proud of it.”
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Old 04-20-2012, 11:11 PM   #2994
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It didn’t matter which direction you looked. It was all the same. White on white. Like stink on shit, if both stink and shit were white.
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Old 04-20-2012, 11:40 PM   #2995
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Quote:
“What’s wrong with you?” Laiin growled as she began battering him with a series of attacks.
“Many ask me that question. I’m sure you will again someday, tied down somewhere for me. You see, I have this fascination with making people scream – well, I’d dearly love to hear you. So I ask – would you like to see my knives? I have quite a collection.”
“You’re insane,” Laiin whispered. Athers caught her sword on his gauntlet, locking it from moving.

“Not insane, darling,” he said with a smile. “Evil. Learn to tell the difference!”
And:

Quote:
“You say,” Nadia challenged. “Agente, if you ever make me wear a dress again . . . I don’t care that you’re a princess. They will never find your body.”
Agente laughed at her. “Be positive, Nadia! You’re distracting all the men from . . . whatever it is men do when they’re not staring at women at parties. I’m certainly just a little envious.”
“Just a little?” Nadia asked. “The way you keep heaping compliments on me, I’d almost think it’s not just the men I’m distracting.”
I probably have more, but those are the two that always jump out at me. #2 was hilarious because I was reading the book aloud to someone, and she asked me if Nadia was a lesbian - LONG before that scene(PS: She's not).

So always makes me smile now, since we both cracked up when I actually got to that part.

And the first one is quite simply the defining quote of my writing for all time.

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Old 04-20-2012, 11:54 PM   #2996
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Originally Posted by slcboston View Post
I like this. Simple, a little funny, and a lot to think about.
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Old 04-21-2012, 02:11 AM   #2997
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Don't know about 'favorite', but this is one I wrote yesterday that I like at the moment.

Quote:
Lamthos must have seen the confusion on Elis’s face, because his eyebrows rose in mock astonishment. “What my dear brother, you didn’t know? It’s a common enough vice, even among our learned order.” A malicious smile appeared on his face. “Such touching innocence.”

And Elis, who prided himself on his worldliness, and hated above all to be reminded of his tender age, blushed in furious shame.
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Old 04-22-2012, 10:12 PM   #2998
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This is one of my favorites. It's from I play I wrote that was produced in 2009:

I decided to make a replica of the Tower of Babel using the cans of creamed corn, but I ran out of creamed corn before the tower even started to look like it might touch my lighting fixture, let alone the heavens. It was disappointing. The people in creamed-corn world would be stuck understanding one another for the rest of eternity at that rate, and that’s a fate no race should be forced to endure.
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Old 04-22-2012, 11:02 PM   #2999
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I agree with comments above: This thread is both scary and cool.

This is my favorite moment so far from the second draft of my WIP. This happens near the end of the first chapter in which the two MCs, senior partner and junior partner to be, meet "in the field." It foreshadows a few things. It is said after a sprint away from a dangerous situation.

Quote:
“Don’t worry,” he said, panting as well. “Once she’s done counting the third handful, she’ll have forgotten us.”
The junior partner to be responds with what I hope will be an appropriate "What the hell are you talking about?"
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Old 04-23-2012, 12:20 AM   #3000
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Wow, there are some amazing lines on this thread!
I'm not sure mine make much sense out of context, but these are my two favorites out of my current WIP:

“I want to go into stasis,” I said. I had two full days until I was scheduled.

From a different scene

Oh. My. Copping—don’t tell me it’s an FTL ship…”
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