Weeding "that" out of your MS

Danalynn · Feb 25, 2008

It has recently come to my attention how the word "that" is used entirely toooooooooo much in manuscripts. (Similar to the use of the phrase "and then", though Microsoft Word doesn't LIKE it when you take the "and" out of "and then!" lol! And every time you re-spell/grammer check your document, it tells you so!) :poke:

SO ANYWAY, I went into my MS and used the "Find" feature in the edit menu of MS Word, trying to locate all of the unnecessary "that" words in my 15 chapter WIP....
(Granted, some "that's" ARE necessary, but some definately are not.)

I am only up to the 7th chapter so far using my handy little "Find" button, and I have already found 141 "that's" that I didn't need!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

LOL!!!!

donroc · Feb 25, 2008

That's good -- and you are not alone.

Keyboard Hound · Feb 25, 2008

That word pops up a lot.

Gina_Marie · Feb 25, 2008

I'm gonna have to try this. But I must say "and" is my mortal enemy.

Mumut · Feb 25, 2008

When you finished did you say, 'well, that's that'?

Hillary · Feb 26, 2008

Dana-Lynn said:
I am only up to the 7th chapter so far using my handy little "Find" button, and I have already found 141 "that's" ~~that~~ I didn't need!

Got one more for you.

But really... I'm a BIG that-hater as well. I despise empty words in polished manuscripts and "that" is often a very empty word.

Danalynn · Feb 26, 2008

Hillary, what other "empty" words don't you like in MS's?
I want a list....

It's hard to weed "that" out, because my brain keeps trying to put it into the sentences I write. Habits die hard, I guess.
:Soapbox:

Ziljon · Feb 26, 2008

I lost 256 that's on my first ms.

Matera the Mad · Feb 26, 2008

a hit list:

As - the damnable, eternal as!
was *-ing (*-ed)
as * was *-ing (*-ed)
*-ing beginnings
too much ing-ing in general
Could be heard (-seen, -felt)
The sound of
Suddenly
Almost
*-ness
*-ly
the

Mike F. · Feb 26, 2008

I am not the only one?! I use "that" way too much. I've been trying to weed it out as I go. It's not easy!

absitinvidia · Feb 26, 2008

Other constructions to look for and delete:

began to / started to
continued to
proceeded to
reached out/over and

In certain cases you do need to use these (for example, if someone starts to do something and the action is interrupted), but a lot of the time they're unnecessary.

TrishD · Feb 26, 2008

I find I'm guilty of the "as something, she was something" constructs. I didn't realize I was doing it at first, but editing later drafts it struck me.

hammerklavier · Feb 27, 2008

seemed

The Scip · Feb 27, 2008

I am a huge "that" writer. I use it alot writing my first drafts. I'm in the final edit of my WIP right now and am still finding some "thats" that are unnecessary. I've also found "almost" is a word I can do without most times.

She_wulf · Feb 27, 2008

Dana-Lynn said:
Hillary, what other "empty" words don't you like in MS's?
I want a list....

It's hard to weed "that" out, because my brain keeps trying to put it into the sentences I write. Habits die hard, I guess.

My current WIP I'm polishing is in first person. (Don't groan!) Well the obvious problem was too many "I's" in it. I took the handy spell-checker and typed I+'space' (the character not the spelling here, it just doesn't show up right if I did that...)

Enlightening, sure. Discouraging...OMG yes!

Amy

Mr Flibble · Feb 27, 2008

Matera the Mad said:
a hit list:

As - the damnable, eternal as!
was *-ing (*-ed)
as * was *-ing (*-ed)
*-ing beginnings
too much ing-ing in general
Could be heard (-seen, -felt)
The sound of
Suddenly
Almost
*-ness
*-ly
the

The list of things to look for in my WIP is starting to rival the MS for size...

BlueLucario · Feb 27, 2008

I heard something like this from a book I read.

"When in doubt, leave it out."

Danalynn · Feb 27, 2008

I'm writing all of these list of "empty" words down, so if ya'll have more you can think of, keep 'em coming!!!
:snoopy:

My WIP is in first person, also. I'll have to go through and check if I have too many I's... thanks for the tip!

And how in the world are you supposed to not use the word seems/seemed when using first person?!

I can't put "Uncle Thomas was mad and unconsiously stroking his mustache", because there is no way (first person) I can be in his head to know exactly how he is feeling or whether he is consious of doing something or not, so I have to put "Uncle Thomas seemed mad." Or "Uncle Thomas seemed unaware that he was stroking his mustache".... etc.
(ooops... I just used a "that" in that sentence! Eeek!) :e2bummed:

DWSTXS · Feb 27, 2008

Mumut said:
When you finished dod you say, 'well, that's that'?

So, which 'that' would you drop in that example?
heh heh heh

She_wulf · Feb 27, 2008

Dana-Lynn said:
I'm writing all of these list of "empty" words down, so if ya'll have more you can think of, keep 'em coming!!!

My WIP is in first person, also. I'll have to go through and check if I have too many I's... thanks for the tip!

And how in the world are you supposed to not use the word seems/seemed when using first person?!

I can't put "Uncle Thomas was mad and unconsiously stroking his mustache", because there is no way (first person) I can be in his head to know exactly how he is feeling or whether he is consious of doing something or not, so I have to put "Uncle Thomas seemed mad." Or "Uncle Thomas seemed unaware that he was stroking his mustache".... etc.
(ooops... I just used a "that" in that sentence! Eeek!)

Uncle Thomas was stroking his mustache again. It was a sure sign he was getting mad.

No "that's" no "I's"

Matera the Mad · Feb 27, 2008

I'm going to gleefully call down the wrath of the gods on the next person who uses the non-word "alot"

Danalynn · Feb 27, 2008

LOL! Embarrassed to say I do that alot, I mean a lot....
*ducking as I type that*
:flag:

Also kindof instead of kind of, atleast instead of at least. Ofcourse instead of Of course.... Probably a couple of others I can't think of at the moment....

*blushes and vows to NEVER do it again, or at least to TRY not to.*

:scared:

Danalynn · Feb 27, 2008

Okay, out of curiosity, I just did a "Find All" search in my 15 chapter (first person) WIP for the word "seemed", and there were 35 out of 35,360 words. Not nearly as many as I thought I'd used....

I was able to replace several of them with a better word, and got the count down to 19 for the whole MS. That's only approximately one "seemed" per chapter. :tongue

hammerklavier · Feb 28, 2008

Dana-Lynn said:
I was able to replace several of them with a better word, and got the count down to 19 for the whole MS. That's only approximately one "seemed" per chapter.

Generally you can just delete seemed instead of replacing it. Instead of writing that 'something seemed a certain way', just write 'it was a certain way'. Seemed also kills any similies or metaphors you use.

For example, "The time seemed to pass quickly." vs. "The time passed quickly." The reader will know you aren't suggesting that the laws of physics were broken.

Danalynn · Feb 28, 2008

But that's technically hard to do when you're using first person, because you can't be inside of ANYONE else's head.

Examples:

He seemed furious about my grades.
vs.
He was furious about my grades.
How can I know if he was feeling furious without being inside his head?

They all seemed satisfied with that, and the commotion finally died down.
vs.
They were all satisfied with that, and the commotion finally died down.
How can I know if they are feeling satisfied?

She seemed to try to regain her composure before she reached us.
vs.
She tried to regain her composure before she reached us.
How can I know if she is trying. I can only see that she is seeming to try.

She seemed unaware that she was scratching at her hair again.
vs.
She was unaware that she was scratching at her hair again.
How can I know if she is aware that she's doing something or not? I can only observe that she looks like she's unaware of it.

Weeding "that" out of your MS

NEVER give up!!!!

Historicals and Horror rule

Old kid. Tough skin!!

Well begun is half done...

Neural Trailblazer

NEVER give up!!!!

Tortilla di Patate

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

A bit of a wallflower

It was a dark and stormy night

...walks this way.

that's me

They've been very bad, Mr Flibble

Blood Elves FTW

NEVER give up!!!!

Mr Mojo Risin...

that's me

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

NEVER give up!!!!

NEVER give up!!!!

It was a dark and stormy night

NEVER give up!!!!