Writing from the POV of the opposite sex.

I've written in the male POV (and my betas said I did it well). I can only recommend that you pay attention to female speech. The biggest piece is making dialogue realistic. Second, is that you realize that motives are truths that can be effective for either sex. Truth in human nature is just that. It does not have to be entirely different male vs. female. Just real and natural for your audience. There is a lot of gray area that applies to both male and female. Stay true to that in order to avoid cliche and stereotype. Read and listen to dialogue and let your character's traits and motives drive your plot.

Talk to a relative with an opposite sex.
The great writers did this.

Read memoirs by women and girls. Read blogs by women and girls.

I think the biggest mistake men-writing-from-women's-POV make is the character evaluating her appearance, dress, or behavior in a way that is more commonly done by men in our society. The example I always cite (from a now-forgotten novel): "Jane looked in the mirror, admiring her lush, ripe breasts and her long legs." GAH!

If you figure out how to write good girls, let me know...I'm a girl and I can only write guys.

Listen to people of the opposite sex talking together. When you have incidental dialogue this might give the feeling of that gender. I was advised not to even try making my MC in the other sex but I've not had any criticism and the books sold hundreds of copies. The MC is a 19yo young lady and the book is most read by 20 to 30yo young ladies. So just keep at it and ask others to read your work.

I'm very comfortable writing the opposite sex, but I've found my male crit partner is indispensable for getting the details just right.

I'm sort of like Shady in this regard. I write the male POV better than the female POV. 4 of my 5 betas so far have commented that the male POV was exactly right - even regular narrative (not just dialogue) was decidedly masculine.

Only problem is, I'm not sure how to tell other people how to do it.

I started a thread like this a couple of years ago. There aren't a ton of posts but they are very thoughtful. Check it out:


http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=28782

You could try picking out some individual girls/woman and noting down the things that make them distinctive. One thing that kills some author's attempts at the opposite gender is making everyone the same. They shouldn't all have the same catch phrases, the same worries, the same likes/dislikes etc.

That applies as much to your secondary female characters. You don't want every woman with a walk-on part sounding like they're clones.

First of all, kudos to you for being willing to try something different from what you've written before!

I can relate, as for a long time, the only main characters I wrote were females. So I was very nervous the first time I did a male pov. The best advice I got from someone who was female and very good at male pov's was that she thought of the men who were close to her and took some of their traits and voice and went from there.

It sounds like you're already doing this by paying attention to your female friends.

And yup, don't watch girls and jot down notes But mental notes aren't bad.

I would say though, don't be afraid to make a character who is politically incorrect. The best characters are not completely politely correct, after all. After all, not all women are pc feminists, nor are we all homemakers. There are so many different types of women out there (including some who have some very 'masculine' character traits) that it would be hard for someone to point at your character and say 'she's not a real woman!'

That said, a few big differences I've noticed between the sexes from being married and having male friends, etc: (all are generalizations, and are not true for all men or all women, of course) I really hope I don't come off as offensive by saying any of these. They're just some differences I've observed that definitely aren't true for everyone all the time. And in most cases, the differences in viewpoint and approach both have their uses and both have good and bad qualities to them.

In general, when women have a problem, we just want to vent. As a result, when someone we care about has a problem, we usually make the time to let them vent and we sympathize with them by joining in and saying "yeah, so and so is a jerk." or "that's really crappy" or whatever.

On the other hand, men take a more problem-solving approach to issues. If someone has an issue, they usually go into fix-it mode. As a result, they don't usually have the need to spend time venting about their issues.

Women are very detail-oriented. (again, in general. that's not to say men aren't good with details or anything like that!) We generally notice when our friends/significant use a different tone of voice or talk less than usual and some of us will make mountains out of molehills with this when really nothing is wrong.

Anyways, I'll try to think of more that are less problem solving-oriented. lol. I would say that IceCream's example is very good. Generally women view their appearance with a love-hate relationship. We may love certain features that we know look good, but then we have our days where everything looks off. Most girls I know can't look in a mirror and see their good qualities on most days. So the whole look-in-mirror and describe looks might not be the most objective. lol.

Anyways, PM me if you have any questions and I'll be happy to try to provide a longer list. Now I'm going to shuffle away from the potentially explosive discussion I might have started. lol.

I'm very comfortable writing the opposite sex, probably because I don't make much of a distinction when I'm character building. I observed the behavior and speech patterns of numerous men and women I know in RL and found all the stereotypes to have little or no basis in reality. I even went as far as to tape record a group of us (3 men and 3 women, including myself) talking and then transcribed the dialogue. While each person spoke slightly differently, there were no particular speech patterns across either gender. I base each of my characters speech patterns on a different movie character so they have unique voices, and generally choose a character of the same gender just to be sure, though.

I pay no attention to what's politically correct when I'm character building. Some of my female characters are very emotional and needy, and some are alphas tougher than any of the men. Some of my male characters are tough and action-oriented, and some spend more time contemplating their feelings and relationships than any of the women. My favorite male character is very open with his emotions and completely breaks every 'rule' for how men are supposed to think and act, yet also will act very quickly, decisively, and bravely when the situation calls for it. He's so confident in himself that he doesn't need to put on some 'manly' act to make himself feel strong.

In my opinion, there isn't much of a mark to 'miss' when it comes to writing the different genders. You could switch the genders on all my characters and I don't think it would make the story any less believable. When I'm building a character I create an interesting PERSON. I simply assign a gender based on the role I need them to play in the story, or, if either gender would suit the role, flip a coin. To me, gender's like hair color. Just make sure it doesn't suddenly change mid-way through chapter 13 and you'll be good.

Read books written by male writers from female POVs (Memoirs of a Geisha, for example). Pay attention to the speech patterns, internal thoughts, action and reaction, etc. Granted, try not to focus on the stereotypes -- people are just people, regardless of sex. Still, by and large there's some differences between men and women, and you just need to pay attention and notice the nuances. These nuances may not be that prominent when the character is by herself. But when she's interacting with others (males or females), these nuances would be amplified based on social and cultural biases with regard to gender.

In my WIP, I have two protagonists, one male and one female. It's a challenge to switch between the two. The differences are in the nuances. The best way to do it is by knowing your character really well -- don't try to force them to fit into anything. The worst approach, I think, is to think how a woman SHOULD behave or think and then force your character to behave and think that way. Your character will come off as stiff and artificial.

maestrowork said:

Read books written by male writers from female POVs (Memoirs of a Geisha, for example

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Why not just any books from female POVs?

The book I'm currently reading, Ethan Hawke's ASH WEDNESDAY, keeps switching between a male POV and a female POV every chapter. Very interesting.

My current WIP has a male protagonist (and I'm female) and I've been relying heavily on my husband's opinion to get it just right.

The great thing about being a writer, is that you have almost total license to exploit your family/friends for their knowledge, and they'll be happy about it if they think they contributed to a book!

Yes, I find much crossing of gender in people's everyday habits, men who cross their legs like a woman, women who put their elbows on their knees and hunch over like construction workers. I think the main thing in trying to write the opposite sex is not trying too hard, and staying true to your character. A man I once knew in a live group had everyone laughing as his MC struggled to put on a pair of pantyhose. It sounded almost sexual. Not so. Putting on pantyhose, especially support hose, is akin to stuffing a formed sausage into a skin. If you've never watched a woman do it, don't attempt to describe it. If you have watched, then for goodness sake, write it like you're the woman struggling, not the man watching. lol

Stew21 said:

I've written in the male POV (and my betas said I did it well). I can only recommend that you pay attention to female speech. The biggest piece is making dialogue realistic. Second, is that you realize that motives are truths that can be effective for either sex. Truth in human nature is just that. It does not have to be entirely different male vs. female. Just real and natural for your audience. There is a lot of gray area that applies to both male and female. Stay true to that in order to avoid cliche and stereotype. Read and listen to dialogue and let your character's traits and motives drive your plot.

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Ooh. And you did it crazy-well too. I had to keep reminding myself a woman wrote that book. Not that I really had to keep reminding myself...because it doesn't matter what sex wrote a book, right. But, Trish...you did it well. It's like you KNOW what it's like to be a man.


I would say that you just pay attention, yes. Breathe in every nuance, every movement, every voice, every hair, every breath. Just be an observer and put yourself in their shoes. Write as a woman. Write letters as a woman. Write poetry as a woman. Write grocery lists as a woman.

What helped me really a lot when I was writing from an opposite sex (male) POV was to register at a predominantly male forum (a war history site) under a male nick and then post and talk to other guys as a man. I paid attention to how they thought and expressed themselves, and did some book-related war history research into the bargain!

Try visiting some girlie forums as a girl and see if it works.

I love, love to write from my female character's pov. I combine my wife with the powerful goddess of all-female-voice and make the most definitive strong-willed person I can imagine...come to think of it...then I've come full-circle, right back to my wife again.

Seriously? I love to write in the female pov. Simply take a man, and make him honest, then you have the female pov.

Lyx

You could check out a sample of your writing by going to:

http://bookblog.net/gender/genie.php

and pasting a sample.

I'm not sure it works all that well, but I've tried it and also given the sample to my wife for a critique. Their answers matched, so there might be a grain of truth behind the method.

YMMV.

JimmyB27 said:

Why not just any books from female POVs?

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Because the OP is a male writing from a female's POV. Sure, you can read just about anything from a female's POV written by a female writer, but there's such a wide range from romance to mystery to thrillers. Personally I think it's a good way to study writing the "opposite sex" by studying how other male writers have done it.

I think the biggest problem here is the emphasis on gender. If you write true to the character, your gender and the gender of the characters won't matter. If you don't write true to the character, no amount of "gender correctness" is going to help you.

My best advice on this is to write the woman you *are*, not the woman you *want*. A lot of male writers make the mistake of creating women who are beautiful, intelligent, funny, competent, etc. etc... in other words, all the things they wish a woman would be. (Women who write men do this, too.) Real women (real people) have flaws, and not just cute flaws.

Don't forget that women are people, first and foremost, and since you're a person, you probably already know all you need to know about the human condition to do justice to this character.

After writing Madame Bovary, Flaubert explained, "Madame Bovary, c'est moi." He understood that writing a woman doens't mean stepping outside yourself, but finding yourself in her, and her in you.