Haikuicide

JAlpha

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Oh no! I'm a newbie here, and this morning, at 9:16, I posted a haiku in Rob-rite's "Keep It Down Thread" and now everyone has gone missing!!

I'm so sorry!!! I promise I'll never do it again!!!!

Can I still play? Or have I been banned from AW by the haiku police?

JAlpha
 

Sher2

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JAlpha said:
Oh no! I'm a newbie here, and this morning, at 9:16, I posted a haiku in Rob-rite's "Keep It Down Thread" and now everyone has gone missing!!

I'm so sorry!!! I promise I'll never do it again!!!!

Can I still play? Or have I been banned from AW by the haiku police?

JAlpha
I do not think you did a
Shocking thing, so no
You must not go away sad.

I forget -- is it 7-5-7 or 5-7-5? If it's the latter, I goofed.
:)
 

Sher2

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JAlpha said:
It's 5-7-5, but I like it your way too!
Forgive my faux pas,
Now the numbers do add up,
I bid you hello.
 

Mark Anderson

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Sadly, all my haikus are very profane, so I suspect not very welcoming.

Here's one off the top of my head:

Aspiring writer
are you reading the forums?
Get back to writing!

:whip:
 

MacAllister

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:hooray:don't take stuff too hard
prob'ly they just had other
threads to visit then

ohhhhhhhhhh....I suck at this...:ROFL:
 

paprikapink

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MacAllister said:
:hooray:don't take stuff too hard
prob'ly they just had other
threads to visit then

ohhhhhhhhhh....I suck at this...:ROFL:

Here's a tip, Mac: Next time, don't post a haiku right under Jenna's. :ROFL:

No, really, I love yours and Jenna's. It's deeply existential and something else philosophical that I can't think of because of all the snoring in here!

-pkpk
 

MacAllister

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Here's a tip, Mac: Next time, don't post a haiku right under Jenna's. :ROFL:
Excellent advice, pkpk! I shall make a mental note for future reference!
 

JAlpha

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Thanks all,

I gave rep points to those that played along by constructing their own haikus. I may be new around here, and to a bulletin board forum in general. But I do know how the game is played.

Thanks for reviving this thread; I was overwhelmed with guilt.
JAlpha
 

rhymegirl

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I'll try a haiku, but I'm afraid that everything I write turns into rhyme.

There's nothing to fear,
we don't mind if you mess up,
we're all writers here.
 

WVWriterGirl

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Live in your dreams too
Like the rest of us here do
You'll fit right in here.

Blech. Not made for the haiku thing. :)

WVWG
 

JAlpha

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rhymegirl said:
I'll try a haiku, but I'm afraid that everything I write turns into rhyme.

There's nothing to fear,
we don't mind if you mess up,
we're all writers here.

Rhyme girl,

For the most part westerners have abandoned the traditional rules of haiku. Far as I know rhymes are fine. Besides when it works, it works, and your haiku is certainly working :thankyou:
 

JAlpha

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WVWriterGirl said:
Live in your dreams too
Like the rest of us here do
You'll fit right in here. WVWG

WVWriterGirl,

Depending on how people pronounce certain words, there can be a lot of play with the syllable count in a haiku. I was playing with your's a bit and found that when I read it out loud I end up with something more like this . . .

Live in your dreams
Like the rest of us here
You'll fit right in too

Then I got to thinking maybe the first and last lines could be switched

You'll fit right in too
Like the rest of us here
Live in your dreams

What do you think? Either way, I get that warm feeling all over :Hug2:

Thanks,
JAlpha
 

brokenfingers

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So this is the place
to expel your thoughts in words,
like breath held too long.
 

JAlpha

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brokenfingers said:
like breath held too long.

Brokenfingers,

I think your last line would make a mighty fine definition of a haiku.

Also, I had a thought about possibly changing the 2nd person POV "your" to

to expel thoughts into

That sort of keeps it an understood 2nd person POV as well as a adding a personal tone. What do you think.

JAlpha
 

brokenfingers

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I think you are right,
it makes it more personal –
increasing its strength…