The Crock Pot Revelation

By Stacia Deutsch 

It happened on August 5, 2003, at 7:17 a.m. I was layering chicken breasts in the crock pot and bemoaning the fact that my brain resembled my daughter’s breakfast cereal. My husband overheard me muttering to myself as he passed through the kitchen. He lovingly reminded me that since I quit work I’ve been doing the most important job of all-- raising our three children.

“I know raising the kids is really important,” I replied as I measured rice for the rice cooker. “But what is the cost to my own adulthood? How many more months until I can no longer form a sentence with more than four words?!” After staring at me a moment, my husband silently wandered off, obviously wondering if I’d lost my marbles altogether.

This doesn’t sound like much of an incident, but it was a personal revelatory moment. I call it: the crock pot revelation.

I know a little about revelatory moments, because I am a rabbi. I spent five years in graduate school-- training to be a teacher, preacher, and confidant.  I can run a religious school, lead worship, or officiate at life cycle events. 

And for two years after ordination, I did all that I am trained to do.  Then our first son was born. I switched to three-quarter-time work.  Two years later, another son came along. I went part-time. Another two years and we had a daughter. I quit.

Now I am a stay at home mom.  I wear that badge proudly. I know it’s important work.  But at the same time, as I pop slice-and-bake cookies into the toaster oven, I am fully aware that when I quit work I left a chunk of my brain behind.  And frankly, I miss it.

My closest friend, Rhody, is a computer engineer.  After obtaining a masters degree, she had a lucrative job.  Now, she is also at home with her three kids and the computing world is passing her by.  She doesn’t even know if she could go back into her field at all. 

After the crock pot revelation, Rhody and I were talking about how to keep our brains from atrophying.  Some of our friends were managing better than we were.  Yanina was at school meetings constantly.  Beth was running a small jewelry business from her home. Susie was in a women’s investment group.  Wendy was in a book club.

Rhody and I, well, we were in the family room on the floor putting together wooden puzzles and wondering where Blue’s third clue was hiding.

Something had to change.  We weren’t looking for big money or important workplace status, rather we wanted to exercise our minds and prevent further brain cell loss. So, we reviewed our skills and what we liked to do.  Our biggest commonality was that we both loved reading.  We read novels for ourselves and picture books to our younger kids.  Our older boys were reading chapter books and we were listening in as they chugged along, sounding out words.  And then one day, as I waited in the carpool lane, I came up with a book idea.

Rhody was excited.  If I’d write it, she’d edit, research, do anything I needed.  I shouldn’t waste my time looking up historical details, she’d do that.  I should just write.

And I did.  I took an hour each day to weave the story. Time for thought and reflection and to prove to myself there wasn’t macaroni and cheese between my ears. After her kids were asleep, Rhody worked her magic and fixed my rough words. A manuscript began to form and take shape.

Six months later we found an agent and six months after that got a publishing contract with Simon and Schuster for a five book series, Blast to the Past, the story of four third grade kids who travel back in time.  Their mission is to convince famous American visionaries and inventors not to give up by showing them the value of their work.  We strive to point out the historic hardships each person faced in trying to change America for the better while emphasizing the values of perseverance and commitment.

The stories aren’t long.  They are written for seven-to-ten-year-olds and tied to school curricula. The sentences are short. But the concepts are big. And…our brains are functioning again! 

Looking back, these books were born out of desperation.  We were good mothers, but had lost ourselves along the way.  

Rhody and I know other women who also feel incomplete after deciding to quit work and stay at home.  None of us regret our decision, but sometimes we can’t help but think fondly of the careers we left behind.  And we wonder, how can we retain our adult intellect while living in a world of cute little voices and bright primary colors?

Every time I pop into a Barnes and Noble and see our books on the shelf, I know how Rhody and I chose to span the gap between adulthood and mommyhood.

Now, I smile as I layer chicken breasts in the crock pot, a pencil tucked behind my ear and a notepad near the cutting board.  I am no longer mindlessly preparing dinner for my family.  I am also on the phone with Rhody, carefully crafting a scene for the next Blast to the Past tale.

Blast to the Past series by Stacia Deutsch and Rhody Cohon, published by Simon and Schuster. Visit us at www.blasttothepastbooks.com.

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