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Interview With Mad Dog
When you have a regular column assignment, do you get to write about whatever falls out of your brain, or are you given topics and guidelines? I’ve been writing my column weekly for the past five years starting with the Richmond State (R.I.P.) and now do it through AlterNet, a group which works with alternative weeklies throughout the country. My column isn’t assigned, so I do whatever the hell I want, for better or for worse. Since at the moment no one is running it weekly (though a few do it almost weekly) the newspapers pick up a column if they like it, so it’s to my advantage to write on topics they might be interested in. But I don’t cater to them because the truth is, I can’t second guess what they want. I travel a lot and write about my travels and they rarely pick up those columns. But since there’s no real rhyme or reason behind what they do like (each one having different likes and needs that change all the time) I write about whatever I want. Hell, it’s only a living, you know. How did you get the humor column syndication underway? I started writing every other week for the Richmond (Virginia) State when it launched, five years ago. Within a couple of months I went weekly. After two years they folded but in the meantime they’d started submitting them to AlterNet, which is a pseudo-syndicate that’s part of AAN, an organization of alternative newsweeklies. Since it was moderately popular, when the State croaked AlterNet agreed to keep handling the columns. Each week they post it to their site, the editors look at it, if they like it they print it, if they print it they pay. Several run it almost every week. So it’s not truly syndicated (unfortunately). I’ve gotten it in some dailies myself, including the Chicago Tribune, NY Daily News, San Francisco Examiner (nine times), and SF Chronicle. I’ve tried to get the "real" syndicates interested, but they say most newspapers have a staffer who writes a humor column (who may or may not be funny but at least is on salary so it’s "free") and Dave Barry has the rest pretty well sewn up. Once Vito shows Dave his new Louisville Slugger the field will be wide open for me. What's a typical day in your life like? There’s no such thing. Being a freelancer who doesn’t have a steady place to live (I roam around, housesitting, subletting, petsitting, etc) no two days are alike. Which is a good thing considering I’m an A.D.H.D. Gemini with an oral fixation, but I digress..... What are the best and worst parts of your job? The best part is I get to do something I enjoy and (apparently) do well and don’t have to go to an office and deal with all the crap that goes with it. The worst is that I could be making gobs more money if I wanted to go to an office and deal with all the crap that goes with it. You've also done ghostwriting, copywriting, novel writing, screenwriting, web content writing, corporate videos, etc. Where have you found all these opportunities? Standing in the middle of the street with a sign that says "Will Right for Food" Just kidding. Actually it varies like crazy. A lot of the advertising happened when I lived in Richmond, Virginia and over a few years wormed my way into peoples’ consciousness. Then for a monthly fee I told them I’d worm my way out again. Instead they gave me work. Since leaving there most of my work has come from online. Some from local posting sites --yes, several very good clients I’ve written websites and brochures for showed up that way. I’ve also gotten a bunch of work from my own website. How has the Internet changed your career? A lot of ways. For one, I couldn’t be a nomad like I am and spend time in San Francisco, LA, Oregon, Hawaii, France, Michigan, and other places if it wasn’t for the Internet. All I need is a power outlet and a phone plug and I can work anywhere. Virtually everything I do is via email. There’s phone, mail, and Fedex when needed, but between correspondence, files being sent, and the ability to post things to web sites and tell people to go look, it’s a virtual life for this guy (in more ways than one, some days). When I run into someone who isn’t comfortable working through email it really makes life much harder. Also, I’ve gotten a lot of work through my website (http://www.maddogproductions.com) which has been up for three years. I’ve written custom versions of several games I have up there for other sites. I use it to have people go see samples of my writing. And I’m currently ghostwriting the autobiography of Ike McKinnon, the former chief of police of Detroit, because some guy stumbled on my site (he thought he was gonna find porn but found humor instead...hah!), liked it, read my novel there, hooked me up with his sister who’s an editor for Sleeping Bear Press, and she offered me this ghostwriting gig. And we’re all living happily ever after. Or will when I finish it and the final advance checks are issued. What do you do if a client is late with payment? It’s rarely a problem. If it is, I call them. They’ve been very honorable. Especially when Vito shows up to give them a look at the new Louisville Slugger that has Dave Barry’s blood on it. Where do you turn for inspiration? Drugs. Also, I read the newspaper daily and keep up on things. I clip articles or facts that catch my eye and often base columns on them, though the connection may end up rather obtuse or tenuous. Other than that it’s just gunk that percolates up from the lower depths of my brain. You don’t want to know what’s down there. Trust me. Were you the "class clown?" Sort of, but not big time. I was definitely a kid who made comments that got the girl sitting next to me in trouble when she laughed at them, but I wasn’t really disruptive to the class. The guy who was is now doing time. Everyone thinks he/she has a sense of humor. Some people are just wrong. How much do you think one can learn about humor writing, and how much has to be "natural?" I think it has to be very much natural. You can learn to hone it, and learn what works better, but I don’t think you can force it. If you’re not naturally funny then I don’t see how it’s going to come out funny—it would only be forced. To be honest, I don’t think I’m very funny. I don’t often laugh at what I write or even think it’s funny. Occasionally I’ll crack up at something but it usually turns out not to be what others find funny. I have, though, learned that other people seem to think my writing is funny—to me I’m just doing what it is I do. I think, much like being the human pincushion, you either have a knack for it or you don’t. What kind of feedback have you gotten from editors and readers? (Any examples?) Geez...it ranges from editors who love what I do and bemoan the fact that their magazine or newspaper doesn’t use much humor to people who just don’t get it. My take on The Rules (that dating crap of a couple of years ago) generated a lot of flak from devotees. They just didn’t get that what I do is HUMOR. You know, satire. Funny. Ha freakin’ ha. Or the person who was upset because I poked fun at people from Eugene, Oregon when I wrote about their coronation of the Slug Queen when the new Slug Queen herself, Madame Bagonda, dropped me an email thanking me for the piece. Luckily, most of the comments are good. Except, of course, the ones from my mother, but thank god I still have a "Delete" key that works. Tell us about Earl the Dead Cat. For a few years I put out a line of novelty gift items, starting with the Croc O’ Shirt (a golf shirt with an embroidered patch of an upside down dead crocodile) to the Silent Vigil Foam Rubber Wind Chimes. Earl the Dead Cat was an understuffed plush toy with X’s for eyes, a kink in his tail, and a humorous death certificate. I sold him through gift stores and did pretty well with it. I also got tons of mail which I used to post on the wall as The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. And trust me, the ugly was truly ugly. (For more info: http://www.maddogproductions.com/earl.htm) How did you learn about these different writing mediums (advertising, screenwriting, newspaper columns, etc.)? Did you take classes, read books...? I went to ¾ of a semester of college and left because I was writing and had better things to do with my time, so I’m completely self-taught. I’ve never taken a writing lesson and guess I have a knack for it. Well, that and bullshitting people into thinking I know what I’m doing while I figure out what I’m doing. I think if you have a natural talent for writing you can adapt it to many styles and forms. But know your limits. I wouldn’t consider writing poetry, haiku (seventeen syllables in search of a reason to be), the ingredients for a cereal box, the questions for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Pauley Shore’s next movie, the Mad Dog version of the Bible, or your horoscope. Any further advice you'd like to add for writers? Quit reading this crap and write. Visit Mad Dog's website, the Mad Dog Weekly, at http://www.maddogproductions.com. He can be reached at md@maddogproductions.com. |
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Text on this site Copyright © 1998-2007
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Mad Dog is a freelance
writer who’s been turning out a weekly humor column for over five years. They’ve
appeared in newspapers including the Chicago Tribune, SF Examiner, NY Daily
News, and the Boston Phoenix, as well as being heard over the Pacifica Radio
Network. He won the Virginia Screenwriting Competition, was the head writer for
the Take Five Comedy troupe, put out a line of novelty gift items, was on the
radio, obviously gets bored easily, and is currently ghostwriting the
autobiography of Ike McKinnon, former chief of police of Detroit. 
