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The Big Whine-- Part 2 By Lyne Royce
Continued from last month's whine…
I made calls to three different pain clinics before I found one that didn’t propose handing me a bucket of narcotics. The one I like actually treats us patients physically so we heal. Naturally, I got the “You’re An Idiot” talk, even though the doctor didn’t outwardly treat me like I am an oaf without the capacity to dress myself. Crimony, I know-- I have injured myself beyond even my belief just by sitting at my desk putting words to monitor, if you will.
SOLUTION: Get out of your work chair frequently.
When the muse visits, I can’t type fast enough and I forget the passage of time and anybody feline and furry who’s yelling because he hasn’t been fed Beluga caviar in two days. In other words, they can wait-- I’m on a roll.
PRO: Set a timer on your computer to remind you to get up and move around every 20 minutes. That, or hire a bouncer to dump you out of your chair. That timer thingy sounds better.
CON: Argh. I can sit and write without realizing the sun has been up for two hours. This would be after working through the night. If I do this, I can write semi-brilliant work but I will also have no feeling in either of my legs. I have plans for my legs. But getting up from my chair breaks my writing flow and concentration. Okay, a light breeze can break my concentration but the point is I now have to change my writing schedule; the one thing that terrifies me is change.
So… No more whining.
The important message here is take care of your back, your neck, and your mousing arm now before you have the same problems I have. I’ve been guaranteed by several medical cretins that it’ll creep up on you. Remember the frog in the pan story? Same deal. I’ll explain the frog story again for those of you who have just started reading my column. The rest of you, I would suggest a snack and a beverage of choice. Talk amongst yourselves; this’ll only take a minute. Watch it with that pâté! That stuff’s expensive!
The Frog Story
Picture a pan on the stove full of boiling water. If you drop a frog in the pan, it’ll jump right out, yes? Our frog isn’t stupid.
(We pause now for identification: I’m a permanent member of every save-the-animal foundation on the planet so be assured: the frog story is purely hypothetical. Between RL and I, we’ve saved more than three dozen cats from death and worse. Yeah, there’s worse and you don’t want to know. We’ve owned a total of 18 cats and one dog over the last 20 years. Six of the cats are still with us. They’re so pampered, one of them even has her own room. Don’t ask.)
To continue. Put that same poor little frog in cold water and slowly bring the water to a boil and he’ll never notice. He’ll just sit there, lean back, and relax, and ten minutes later, get boiled and the frog soup will be ready. Eww. Sorry. It’s the most universal way I could think of to illustrate an event without your noticing.
ScanSoft-- Dragon NaturallySpeaking 8 is my favorite voice recognition software, as my regular readers are aware. I heard that! I know I’ve harped on this very subject before and you’re getting tired of it but this RSI stuff is dangerous. I hate change as my squeeze will attest. But change is inevitable, like phlegm, so you may as well accept it.
This program isn’t cheap but it’s worth every penny and every minute of time you’re forced to spend making your input files more accurate. Just remember to use your normal speaking voice while you train or the program won’t recognize you when you actually use the program.
Finding a timer you like to remind you to get up out of your chair isn’t hard, either. After a while you get used to the annoyance of using one. It’s like taxes: you know it’s there; it happens every year like clockwork (pardon the pun) and it’s not going away. There’s a free timer software package, Shut UP!, but do please keep in mind: you get what you pay for. The free one is nice but not as convenient as some of the other ones.
This one, ENUFF, works well and also offers a free trial before you fork over $35 for the package.
In my opinion, Acute Software's Timer is the best timer program, especially for writers, and it’s only $25. One of the reasons I like it is because of my paranoia. The program does not take over your computer and shut it down at a scheduled time like the kid-timer programs can. Besides, up to 32 separate timers can be set at the same time. Oh, stop laughing… I might need those other 31 timers! What-- I could start cooking again… maybe.
Find out more about carpel tunnel syndrome at MedicineNet.com. Fun site. You can find out how you’ve managed to cripple yourself. On purpose.
For tendonitis or bursitis, try HealthTouch.com. You’ll love this site; they have pictures.
Hand University has more on de Quervain's Tenosynovitis. That even sounds scary. It’s very technical and they can explain it better than I can. I thought this stuff only happens to people who use a jackhammer.
For stretching exercises at your desk, try e-stretch. This is the best stretch site I’ve ever seen and it’s free! You can also check out Desk Stretches for more on stretching.
There’s nothing more repetitious than using computer input equipment (keyboards, mice, and drawing tablets). A famous psychiatrist once said that the act of doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, was the definition of insanity. I don’t know who he is but I’ll find him.
One last thing: I asked my family doctor if there could be anything else, anything, that could have caused this kind of injury. He said it was a ludicrous question for an educated woman to ask, reminded me of the three painful cortisone shots I’ve already gotten, and told me I can get better if I pay attention. Then he made several appointments for me…
I am now in physical therapy.
Some days you’re the bug. Some days you’re the windshield.
Lyne Royce is a freelance writer living near Phoenix with one devoted husband and six spoiled cats. All are strays, including the devoted husband. Lyne likes stray cats, the Arizona desert and 80's rock. After fifteen years teaching software classes, Lyne decided to listen to Thalia, her muse, who had been beating Lyne over the head with a baseball bat to get her attention. Lyne currently belongs to several writers' discussion groups and is a member of The Net Wits, National Association of Women Writers, and Southwest Writers organizations. Lyne is also a contributing columnist at www.ewritersplace.com and Absolute Write. Contact Lyne at Lyne2@WrittenWell.com.
Click here for past columns.
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