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Sexist Language Can
Be Avoided
By Melvin Durai
As a conscientious writer, I try my best to avoid sexist language. For example,
I would never write a sentence like this: "An experienced shopper tries not
to fill his cart with unnecessary stuff." After all, many shoppers are
female. And they can't help themselves. It's better to consider all
possibilities and change the sentence to this: "An experienced shopper may
sometimes fill his/her/its cart with unnecessary stuff." That way, you
won't offend any shopper, even those who haven't yet settled on a particular
gender. It's always wise to be politically correct, especially if you hope to
one day serve as Attorney General.
Of course, writing "his/her/its" is a little awkward, as I eventually
learned in journalism school. My professors offered me a better solution: make
the sentence plural. That greatly simplifies things, allowing me to write a
perfectly acceptable sentence: "Experienced shoppers may sometimes fill
their carts with unnecessary stuffs." See how well it works?
It would be much easier if we had some singular gender-neutral pronouns, but
unfortunately, English developed many years ago when sexism was rampant and
nobody objected to sentences like this: "The wife of a busy politician must
always keep an eye on her husband's possessions." These days, we know
better and would write: "The spouses of busy politicians must always keep
their eyes on their spouses' interns."
Thankfully, we've also eliminated many sexist job titles, recognizing that most
jobs are being filled by both men and women. For example, we have replaced
"fireman" with "firefighter," "businessman" with
"business person," and "cleaning lady" with "floor
technician." It is no longer advisable to say "chairman," even if
you are referring to the head of the Boy Scouts (the appropriate term is
chairboy). In most cases, it is better to simply say "chair," unless
you happen to be calling a furniture company.
You: "Hello. May I speak to the chair?"
Automated recording: "All our chairs are currently busy with other
customers. Please stay on the line while we put you through to a table."
It is also better to avoid using terms such as "lady doctor" or
"female doctor," as though doctors are supposed to be male. Even if
you need a physical exam, you should just ask for a "doctor" and try
your luck. Don't worry, most doctors have seen it all. If they happen to laugh,
it's only because they work so hard and are often deprived of good
entertainment. You shouldn't take it personally.
For similar reasons, you should avoid saying "male nurse,"
"gentleman nurse," or "nurse guy." That would be unfair to
all those men who have taken up nursing and proven, under great odds, that a man
can do the job. Gone are the days when men could only dream about becoming
nurses. Thank goodness.
It is also inappropriate to use the noun "man" or "men" to
refer to both sexes. Instead of "great men in history," you should
always say "great figures in history." That way, you won’t leave out
Pamela Anderson. No, seriously, you won’t leave out great women such as Amelia
Earhart, Indira Gandhi and Toni Morrison.
The use of "man" or "men" should be limited to terms that
pertain only to males. That's why I join all men in calling for the immediate
correction of two terms that, last time we checked, have little to do with us:
"MENstrual cramps" and "MENopause." It's much more
appropriate to say "womenstrual cramps" and "womenopause."
I'd like everybody to say "Amen!" to that. I mean, "Apeople!"
Copyright © 2001 Melvin Durai http://www.funnycolumns.com
Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer and humorist. A native of
India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s. For a free
subscription to his columns, send a blank message to durai-humor-on@mail-list.com
or go to http://www.melvindurai.com
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