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Seven Habits of Unsuccessful Writers
By Catherine Geary


1. Always put off doing any writing, citing excuses such as the pressure of study, work, children, etc. Just never get around to doing it - then when you're forty and going through a mid-life crisis you can look back on a life of procrastinating and think, "I have achieved absolutely none of my writing goals!" Remember, never do your writing NOW!

2. Don't ever establish a routine. Live a life full of surprises - always have friends, relatives and neighbors dropping in, tell everyone it's okay to call at any time during the day or night, and always have a really long chat when they do. Get up very late in the mornings, party every night.

3. Don't keep any order amongst your notes. Scatter stories, articles and research all over the house for the dogs and/or kids to chew and draw on. Never purchase a filing cabinet.

4. Don't ever read anything else but your own writing. Stimulating ideas and other writer's wonderful prose just clutter the mind.

5. Never, ever rewrite. The first thing that comes into your head is always best.

6. Don't establish contacts with editors or publishers and never send anything out. Keep all your writing at home, where it's safe and warm.

7. Don't believe in yourself. Chant this mantra - "If I don't do anything, I will achieve nothing." Good luck!

Catherine Geary has been writing all her life in between having three children and working as a librarian. She has published some short fiction in Australia and is a world authority on procrastination.

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