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Accept the Load By Delma Luben
Responsibility.
It's a big word. And a heavy load to carry. When we're given it, we grow stronger and better at what we do. When we finally accept it, we are on our way to success-- and with the realization that we have but one boss (our self), we're on the right road. Accepting responsibility is what raises talent to the top-- and keeps it there.
But blaming is an inherent human tendency. When we flub up or fall short, it's human nature to look for someone or something to blame, to share accountability. This impulse even plagues executives. Surrounded by "yes men" and willing patsies, they can as easily delegate blame as duties. Whereas freelance writers (no staff or ready supporters) must carry the full load all the way.
For this we need strong shoulders. And it's never too early to start developing them. On the first day of a new writing class, I ask attendees two questions: (1) How long have you been writing; and (2) What, if anything, have you published? Their answers tell me how basic the course needs to be.
Inevitably, whatever their answers, they are followed by excuses for not having accomplished more: i.e., "spouse doesn't cooperate; didn't get to go to college; have a full time job; don't have a computer…"
Do you use some of these common circumstance excuses for not having done what you most want to do? Not only novices play the excuse game. Many long suffering would-be writers have developed the habit of excuses. Or they inhibit themselves with a mind-set on the imagined impossibility of publishing-- the overwhelming competition.
Don't let your career end this way-- before it starts. Keep your expectations realistic. It isn't a perfect world; injustice and inequity often reign. Did you think the writing world would be different? If you encounter unfairness, suffer bad luck, get a dirty deal… shifting the blame won't level the scale. Nor will your Jericho walls fall down for crying (or praying). You must find a way around them-- with or without help. For no one else, no mentor, no kind professor, not even your mother cares as much. You are the one who wants to be a writer.
When luck breaks against you, resolve not to dwell on it. Maintain a one-track mind zeroed in on what you are writing, and hang in there no matter what. That's what the professionals that you envy learned to do.
A friend of mine, the late author of the popular Leatherhand series of western fiction, Mike Wales, signed a contract for three more books after his doctor told him he had less than six months to live. "I try not to think about how much time I've got," he said. "I just keep working. I want to get as many as I can to my editor." He was a pro; in the five months he lived he finished two.
Of course, a new writer submitting to an unknown editor will not be spurred on by such loyalty. For beginners it's more like writing a test paper. If you pass, you qualify for the job that you've worked and studied for. If you do everything right, you'll receive an acceptance-- that's what you've been told. But you learn that sometimes fate flunks you.
You do your homework, find the most fitting publication, study sample copies, follow the guidelines to the letter… And the writing goes well. Deep inside you know it's good. This time, you feel sure of an acceptance… Still, you receive a rejection. Why?
The newly appointed editor did not adhere to the details her predecessor furnished for the market listing. A previous issue (before the one or two that you studied) contained an article on the same or a similar subject. The magazine folded after the market listing was published… There could be myriad reasons-- and many unknown to you.
But, whose fault was it that you didn't know these things?
Think about it. The reason may have been knowable with a little more effort. You could have studied a few more issues; you could have called to confirm the name of the editor; you could have, you could have, you could have… Always keep in mind that the situation constantly changes. Make a habit of last minute checks before submitting. Editor turnover and the short life of many publications are just two of the countless reasons for a no sale that may be unknown to you.
While a known mistake of yesterday becomes your lesson for today, from an unknown one you just go on, and keep learning-- and most importantly, learn to accept and forget.
Label your setbacks "experience," every one, while studying what each one can teach you. But waste no time trying to identify the culprit. Assessing blame only drains your energy, and gains you nothing.
The shifting of responsibility is the devil's advocate that lures writers down the black alley of depression, leading to quitting. Too many times I've seen it happen. Long association with all kinds of writers, at every level, and hard experience, have convinced me that nothing relieves a prospective author of full responsibility.
After becoming an accomplished, saleable writer, you must develop proficiency as an editor, secretary, promoter/publicist, salesman, researcher… because sooner or later someone you depend on will drop the ball-- and you will have to pick it up.
If you would be a winner, a professional, well paid writer, always remember those ten little two letter words. "If it is to be, it is up to me."
Accept the full load.
Excerpted from The Writing World: Living the Literary Life, Copyright 2003
Internationally published author/poet Delma Luben, former executive editor, producer/host of a TV show for writers, and "Poetry for The Public" on radio, is a frequent speaker at writing seminars. E-mail: dlubn3@yahoo.com
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