How I Learned to Type
By
Sheila Moss
In the olden days before personal
computers, we learned to type on a machine called a typewriter for lack of a
better name. You may have seen one of these in a museum or your parents may
even have one in the back of the closet somewhere.
Back at the dawn of civilization, typewriters were not electric. You had to
actually push the keys down hard enough to raise a bar with the letter you
wanted to print on the paper. If you wonder how we every got anything done-- we
didn’t.
Then there was also the problem of errors. If you made a mistake, you had to
stop and erase it with an ink eraser. It was better not to make errors. I was
never much good at anything that involved a physical skill. I don’t know if it
was a mental block or if I was just a klutz, but I suspect that it was the
latter.
Mrs. Towery, one of my worst teachers ever, was a typing teacher, which didn’t
help my self-assurance much. I was quiet as a teen, believe it or not-- and
being in a class where I felt less than competent made me even more so. I
dreaded it when the teacher looked over my shoulder to scrutinize, and I made
even more errors that had to be erased with the dreadful ink eraser.
Then someone invented this wonderful paper called “easy-erase.” A mere touch
with an eraser and the error rubbed away. It didn’t help accuracy much, but it
improved speed tremendously. Mrs. Towery didn’t know about easy-erase paper, as
she didn’t get out much. It was a godsend for fingers like mine that hit the
wrong key on a frequent basis.
I clicked along, kept a low profile, and tried not to erase any holes in the
paper that Mrs. Towery could circle with her red pencil. Usually, I was last to
finish and turned in my assignment when the bell rang. The problem with
“easy-erase” was that it was also “easy-smear,” especially when the ink was
fresh.
One morning, Mrs. Towery stood in front of the class, her scowl deeper than
usual as she held up a smudged and dirty paper with a large "F" on it. “This is
the worst looking paper I’ve ever had turned in,” she said to the class. Then
she dramatically handed it to me so everyone could see who did such sloppy work.
I couldn’t believe it. My paper was clean when I handed it in. Then I
realized-- I was last. It was on the top of the stack. She must have smeared
the ink while handling the papers!
A sudden surge of adrenaline courage hit my brain. Or maybe it was adrenaline
stupidity. Regardless, I said, “My paper didn’t look like that when I handed it
in!” The classroom was as quiet as the day after school lets out for summer
break. The class stared at me in disbelief, waiting for my impending death.
Mrs. Towery was enraged. “What do you mean it wasn’t like that?” she hissed,
furious that a student would defy her.
“I used easy-erase paper and mine was on top. You smeared it when you graded
them!” The silence was dizzying.
Mrs. Towery went right on handing out papers. She knew! I knew, and the class
knew, too. I didn't get sent to the principal's office that day, which made me
the unofficial class hero for a while. But I knew better than to rile Mrs.
Towery again.
I eventually learned to type with enough practice. Easy-erase paper went the
way of the dinosaur about the time auto-correcting typewriters came along. I
don’t know what ever became of Mrs. Towery. I can’t help but wonder if she went
to her grave still thinking that she could humiliate kids into learning.
Wouldn’t she be surprised to know that I not only can type, but also turned out
to be a writer. Mrs. Towery, wherever you are, this is for you.
f d s a j k l ; f d s a j k l ; f d
s a j k l ;
Copyright 2005 Sheila Moss
Sheila Moss is a humor columnist from Tennessee and
writes a column for the Aberdeen Examiner. Her comedy includes funny stuff about
big hair, junk cars, country music, football, or whatever she finds funny. She
has been published by Voyageur Press and McGraw Hill as well as in numerous
other publications, both print and online. She is also seen weekly in the Daily
News of Kingsport online and is a member of the National Society of Newspaper
Columnists. If you like her website,
www.humorcolumnist.com, pass the word along and let your favorite newspaper
editor know about her.
