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Storyquest: How Not
To Be Famous Everything I learned about how NOT to be famous, I learned from Tom Clancy. I met Mr. Clancy only once – at the Dragoncon Convention many years ago just after the fall of the Soviet Union. It was an experience I hope never to forget. I often tell people that I spent a year with Tom Clancy one weekend. It began when we were gathering for the opening ceremonies of the convention. We were late getting started because the sound system would not work and they were having trouble finding a union member to come and fix it. Margaret Weis and I looked over the sparse assembly of participants in the ‘audience.’ She commented to me that it would be quicker for all the celebrity guests to just shake the hand of the few people slumping in their chairs than it would take to fix the sound. So, with nothing going on, I picked up my copy of Hunt for Red October and approached Mr. Clancy. Understand, mind you, that I had literally sat next to this man at dinner the night before, spoken with him at length and even bought the man a drink not twelve hours earlier. “Excuse me, Mr. Clancy,” I said, holding out my book. “Would you mind signing my book while we’re waiting?” He looked at me as though I had a potato growing out of my ear. “But if I sign your book, I’d have to sign the books of all these other people!” he said indignantly. I glanced at the supposed crowd. The assembled convention celebrities outnumbered them at least two to one. I thought we had a good chance of holding them off. “I have a book signing later in the day,” he said. “I can do it then.” “I’m sorry, sir,” I replied. “I am hosting my own seminar then.” “Well... I have a book signing tomorrow... come then!” “I’m PERFORMING then, sir.” I looked at the Tower of Ego. “Well, that’s all right. I guess I’ll just not get the book signed. Thanks anyway.” Here was a concept that he could not get around. The idea that someone had offered him a book to sign and would not come back after being refused was apparently too much. He reached out quickly and took my book. Then, astonishingly, he ducked around behind one of the towering, inoperative speakers and motioned me out of sight as well. I wondered which of the ten people in the audience we were hiding from. “I am sorry for the inconvenience,” I said. “No you're not,” he snapped. “No, I understand how difficult this can be and I do apologize.” “No you don’t!” he said as he scratched his signature in my book. I sighed. “Well, okay, maybe I’m NOT that sorry now... but thank you for signing my book.” I stepped out from behind that speaker a little confused and a whole lot wiser. Just then Doug Niles, an old friend of mine, a novelist and the designer of The Hunt for Red October game stepped up to me and said... “Have you seen Tom Clancy? I was hoping to get my book signed while we’re waiting.” “Sure,” I replied as I pointed with my thumb. “He’s hiding behind that speaker... but I wouldn’t get your hopes up.” You need to understand that Doug Niles is the nicest man you could ever hope to meet. I love Doug... he is gentle and brilliant and genuinely kind. He was also the biggest fan of Tom Clancy that I knew. By the time the weekend was over, however, Doug swore he would only read a Clancy novel if he could check it out of a library. The interesting side effect of all this was that Margaret and I found ourselves becoming more popular as the convention went by. “You’re so nice!” fans would exclaim... not at all like that Clancy fellow.” “You mean you’ll personalize our books and write our names in them? Wow! That’s so generous of you... not at all like that Clancy guy.” “You even TALK to us... not like that...” It got to the point where we would gather at the end of every day and tell the latest story of how Tom Clancy had offended someone. The culmination was on the last day of the convention when, we understand, Clancy came down for an autograph session, saw the line of 500 fans (many of whom had purchased books from vendors in the line just for him to sign) and loudly declared, “I’m not going to do this.” He just walked off. When YOU are famous and have people standing in line for your books, take a good look at them. Remember every time that the only reason you ARE famous is because of those good people. You may have written it... but they BOUGHT the book. They are the other half of writing; the all-important reader who contributes to the reality of the story in many important ways. Margaret and I had one of our best book signings at a bookstore near Groton, Connecticut. We have quite a respectable following among submariners. We were nearly overwhelmed by the line that greeted us... but we stayed until everyone was taken care of. We missed our flight afterward... but we wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone who came that day. Book signings are part of the process of publicity for the book. Margaret says there is no such thing as an ‘average’ book signing. Either you have lots of people show up and have a furiously good time... or no one comes and you feel rather forlorn in the corner sitting behind a card table with your books on it. I personally prefer conventions for promotion of a book. You can offer seminars or participate on panels that can often get you and your book in front of a lot of people at the same time. Besides, there is always something interesting to do at a convention. I’ve been going to the Gencon convention every year now since 1982. I have worked every one of those conventions and, believe me, it is WORK. I have often wondered what it would be like to attend the convention just as an attendee... you know; for fun. I may never know. It is surprising how exhilaratingly exhausting book signings can be. As a reader of the book (if the book is good) you have had a very personal and intimate experience when you read it. Hopefully it moved you, stirred your emotions and made you think and dream. This is a powerful experience. As a reader, you naturally want to meet the person or persons who are responsible for sharing this with you. You want to meet the writer personally and tell them how very much this book has meant to you. All of these feelings are genuine and good. You know that you will probably not have much time in which to tell the author all of this or express all these very powerful and deep emotions to them... but you really want to share it with them. For a moment, now, place yourself on the other side of the table... where you will be as an author of your own book. Look down the line of people who are waiting for your autograph. There are five hundred of them. Each of them may have about thirty seconds of actual time each with you. At that rate, it will take you just under 3 HOURS to sign all their books. That’s three hours worth of thirty second encounters... each one of which will be deeply personal and heartfelt. Each encounter is a thirty-second long moment which, for many of those in line, they will carry away with them as their most important memory of you. Each of them will take a little piece of you away with them... not much, just a little. You will feel it go with them. Five hundred times... every thirty seconds... When you are sitting on that other side of the table and your fans are coming up to you... please, please remember that this is THEIR time, not yours. You are here for THEM. They have done you a great honor: they bought your book, they loved you words and want to share that with you. Honor them in return; thank them. It takes a lot of great, little moments to make friends. It can often all be ruined by one bad moment. I hope to always honor my fans... for they have certainly honored me. When you are out promoting your own book, please honor them as well. You’re only on this book tour because of them.
A reader responds: What if -- IF -- I must say, Mr. Clancy just had a really bad day? I don't know the man, nor was I there. It sounded like a horrible presentation on his part, however, what if he'd just been diagnosed with some horrible disease and was trying to deal with it? Or someone in his family had some really unfortunate news of which he'd just learned? Another reader responds: About Tracy Hickman's experience with Tom Clancy: Well, we had
just the opposite one with Anna Quindlen at a book signing in San Francisco. We
were second or third from the front of the line and Ms. Quindlen spoke to us for
so long and with such genuine warmth and interest that we became embarrassed for
the rest of the people waiting and cut the conversation short. Another reader responds: Hello! Lorrie Jackson |
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Tracy
Hickman has written or edited more than thirty novels, had ten of them ride on
the New York Times Best Sellers list, designed role playing games and modules,
created his own role playing game and in recent years begun to write
screenplays. He may be reached through his web site: 
