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Ten Ways to Recycle Rejection Slips By Gail Kavanagh The classic advice for rejection slips is to paper the walls with them-- but what happens when you run out of wall? Not that this applies to me, you understand… Purely in the interests of the environment (think of all those trees that editors have been wasting!) here are ten ways to make rejection slips serve a better purpose besides crushing your hopes. 1. Use them for greeting cards: You can save trees and money by redirecting your rejection slips to the appropriate recipient, depending on what you want to convey. For example: We thank you for thinking of us but regret we are unable to do business with you at this time-- the perfect Christmas card for the people who leave junk mail in your letterbox. We are keeping your name on file in case we need to contact you-- send it to the blind date who didn’t quite come up to scratch. We regret that this contribution is not what we are looking for-- send it to the dateburger who bombed out completely. 2. The Talking Point Coffee Table: Take one coffee table that has seen better days, sand it back and paste rejection slips all over the top. Be artistic. Cover with several coats of varnish. Slop coffee, spill sandwich fillings, and rest your feet with impunity on those idiots who didn’t see the beauty of your prose. 3. Scrap paper: Turn over the rejections and write deathless prose on the back. Fools! All they do is inspire you to greatness! Or better shopping lists. 4. Paper airplanes: Amuse your children by turning rejection slips into paper airplanes. Aim them at mud puddles. Tell the kids to trample on them. 5. Papier Mache: Use a plastic bowl as a mold. Paste layers of rejection slips around the bowl, let dry and remove the papier mache shape from the mold. Paint it bright colors and use it to hold paper clips-- or more rejection slips. 6. Set up a rejection weblog: Everyone gets a rejection slip that is worth sharing. Post it online and let us all laugh along with you-- in sympathy, of course. 7. Make new paper: Buy a paper making kit and pulp the rejection slips to a satisfying slush. Dry into sheets and use them to make your own handmade book. 8. Clean the car windows: If damp newspaper brings up a shine, rejection slips are even better. Scrunch them, damp them, and whistle while you work. 9. Improve your garden: Paper makes great mulch, especially if it’s shredded. Your writing career may not be going that great, but your roses will be bloomin’ marvelous. 10. Donate them to charity: Give them to that would-be writer who talks the talk, but doesn’t walk the walk. Then they can feel like a writer. You may as well pass on a copy of this article too.
Gail Kavanagh lives in Queensland, Australia. Her
writing has been published in Scaifikuest, Arabella, Monthly Short Stories and
Women’s Independent Press, as well as the anthologies Haunted Encounters,
Changing Course and Simple Pleasures of the Kitchen. Gail’s website is
www.valeofavondale.com. |
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