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Rejecting Rejection-- A Humorous Challenge
to an Editor
By Jim Fox
When I received a polite rejection of my story "Smokey's Lesson," I seized upon
a comment and responded in a humorous challenge based on a scenario of "talking
to myself" that led the editor to reconsider and accept the piece for
publication. I had previous published several articles with The Front Porch,
so the editor trusted my work, and usually assigned the same illustrator (Ralph
Butler) for my works. The e-mail is reproduced below. (Mr. Nash had commented
that my response was in itself worthy of publication and he had shared it with
his staff).
To: Andy Nash, c/o The Front Porch:
Jim Fox reads to himself: 'The Smokey piece had a cute ending, but we weren't
sure if it would have broad enough appeal for our audience.'
Jim's finger starts to tap the delete button.
DA speaks: What are you doing?
JF: I've read the message and so now I delete it.
DA: Mark Twain is said to have remarked, "Never be afraid to toot your own horn,
for you are the only one that knows the tune." Petition Andy Nash to rethink
this decision!
JF: Okay, so what is the tune?
DA: "Broad enough appeal"-- juxtapose that with the facts!
JF: And the facts are?
DA: In 2003 the Boy Scouts of America had 3.2 million boys in their various
programs.
JF: Boys probably don't read The Front Porch.
DA: The BSA runs its programs through adult volunteer leaders. In 2003, that was
1.2 million men and women, whom I think just might be able to read. How many of
these men will see themselves (secretly they all fear doing something stupid in
front of the boys)? How many parents will enjoy reading what a campfire night is
like. How many BSA execs will be chagrinned that the secret is out--
scoutmasters are only about two chapters ahead of the scouts! Hee hee.
JF: Okay, good points. Any others?
DA: Who hasn't heard of Smokey Bear?
JF: Good point. Give me a good closer now.
DA: Easy, what sketch would you propose?
JF: I'd ask Butler to do a parody of "American Gothic," replacing the farmer and
his pitchfork with Smokey and a rake, and the perplexed farmer's daughter with a
scoutmaster. Hmm, but can I do that?
DA: Why not? You've had some kind notes e-mailed from Butler-- he likes your
stories, you like his sketches-- a match made in heaven.
JF: I didn't expect the DA-- devil's advocate-- to use the word heaven.
DA: Back off, it's just a phrase, not a vocation!
JF: Okay, any other advice?
DA: Yeah, maybe change that last paragraph-- you weren't "suckered," that's too
cynical. Jim Swartz "was pulling your leg." Remember the audience is pretty much
Heartland people; they don't tend to be cynical.
JF: Thanks for the advice.
DA: No problem. One more thing, do you suppose Andy Nash thinks you're crazy
now?
JF: I was going for humorous!
DA: That could be a double-edged sword.
JF: Well at least he knows I fight for what I believe!
DA: Good luck on the petition!
Signed,
--foxtale (Jim Fox)
The piece was accepted, I didn't have to change the last paragraph, and Butler
did a funnier illustration than I'd expected: a pudgy, well-fed Smokey copiously
taking notes as a bandy-legged scoutmaster sketches a picture of a rake and a
bear-bag onto a chalk board.
James Fox is a frequent contributor of short stories to The Front Porch, a
syndicated periodical though-out the Midwest. He credits his writing of a humor
column for a trade journal, quarterly contributions to an in-house employee
newsletter, and a creative writing course though the local community college
with helping to hone his craft. Besides publication in The Front Porch, his
stories have appeared in Scouting Magazine and Nostalgia Magazine, a haiku
published in Potpourri Magazine, and several business articles in Business
Credit Magazine. His in-house article “Finding A Flag” was later selected for
reprint by the local business journal as their September Eleventh Remembrance.
He writes in the creative nonfiction genre and time spent as a scoutmaster and
volunteer canoe guide has provided the background for many of his published
short stories.
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