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Same
World, Different View Considering the fact that the issue of ethics and fraud in
the case of Norma Khouri’s book Forbidden
Love/Honor Lost is a volatile one, I prefer to put my disclaimer right
up here so you can know exactly where I stand before you read the rest of this
piece. I can’t excuse Ms. Khouri for lying or even sympathize
with her, but despite this, a part of me can understand what may have tempted
her to do what she did. When I first read Ms. Khouri’s book, I felt two
completely different kinds of sorrow. One
was the natural grief for the women who are still being murdered in such
horrific ways, but the other was a sadness that perhaps is limited to those who
are like me – by that, I mean Muslim women. It was a sadness that seemed to pulsate to the rhythm of
the words “not again” over and over in my head. You see, almost every ‘true story’ that comes out
regarding Muslim women involves some sort of tale of oppression and a fight for
liberation from the traditional norms of Islam. It actually seems to be a foolproof formula for a best
seller – the stories are exotically foreign, have plenty of conflict and the
fight is always for a cause as noble as they come. Perfect components that audiences thirst for. That may sound a little cynical, but after reading novels
that claim that “women waved their veils in the air in celebration of their
liberation” and hearing news that women are finally being “freed from the
veil,” I find my blood boiling at the way in which independent issues are
being blended so easily into one twisted mess. Rarely, if ever, have I seen a story from the perspective
of the orthodox Muslim woman explaining why she chooses the life she does and
how she feels about it. Note the
word ‘chooses.’ I’m not talking about the women who live in countries and
cultures that force them to adhere to lifestyles they do not want. I’m talking about the woman who puts on her veil
voluntarily everyday before she leaves her house, the woman who decides for
herself that she will not have a relationship with a man except her husband and
a woman who does everything according to the faith she professes to because she
WANTS to. Such a story would be far from palatable to the general
public. After all, who wants to
read about women who willingly succumb to ‘oppressive’ norms? At best, they come across as spineless creatures without the
will or strength to stand up against the boundaries imposed upon them. Definitely not selling material. Being a Muslim woman means having to accept the fact that a
large number of people will always tag a pre-set stereotype on you, even if they
are not aware of it themselves. If I was to describe myself as I really am-- an orthodox
Muslim, covering myself with the traditional black veil and performing all the
acts that orthodox Muslims do-- chances are that people will expect me to have
some sort of exciting story about how the men in my life stand over me like
stern guardians, how they discriminate against me and my sisters and treat us
like second class human beings. I say this with confidence because I have met such people.
More of them than I am comfortable counting.
For every one person who sees beyond my veil, there are at least three
others who give me sidelong glances and move ever so cautiously away from me in
the street. As a writer, my faith presents an extra challenge for me.
I see the world through a totally different perspective, yet the majority
of the markets available do not have an interest in the view from my window. I constantly feel as if I am sitting on the inside, looking
out. Watching a world go by that
follows rules that are foreign to me. I
sift through what is available and taking what I find familiar, create a picture
of what the world looks like to others from the words they use.
In this I find the greatest pleasure of being part of the writer
community: that I can learn and understand so much about a lifestyle I will
never experience just through the writings of those who care to share what they
think and feel. But sometimes, I want to share too. I want to explain that living life as a Muslim is
different, but it’s also the same. We
eat and drink, we have parties and make friends, we love and we marry, we have
children and like all mothers would give up our lives for them. It is only that we do these things differently.
Very differently. It’s kind of like a kaleidoscope I once had as a child.
The same little bits of colored, stained glass, the same long tube to
look down, but every twist creating a new, unique composition. I feel like the world is seeing one pattern and I am a few
twists away, watching the same things make a different yet equally beautiful
design. I am Muslim woman and this fact is fundamental in defining
my personal writing voice. But
rather than being able to explore it and experiment with how people react to it,
I have to pause and worry if some security program somewhere is setting off
ear-shattering klaxons, because I used the words ‘Muslim’ and
‘fundamental’ in the same sentence... oops! I did it again! (Earplugs
anyone?) When I think of Ms. Khouri, I imagine that she may have
been desperate to write a book that would make her famous. Perhaps she was tempted to re-work an old formula instead of
finding her own new one. Perhaps
she truly believed she was doing the cause of Jordanian women a great good.
Whatever her reason, she has left behind an even stronger need in me to
share my perspective, whenever I can find someone willing to listen. My story, and that of other women like me, is exotic and
foreign, it has conflict and a triumphant victory. However, the ending may not be quite what people expect or
want to hear. But that’s the very best thing about being a writer.
You can make any story a best seller, as long as your voice is honest and
sincere in its need to express. Fatima Aly Jaffer is a Muslim woman struggling to blend the traditional and modern into one harmonious new identity. She is far from succeeding or giving up. In the meantime, she writes for local Kenyan newspapers and is editor for a children’s magazine where she has found her most loyal fans and stern critics. Anyone who wishes to hear her ramblings can write to her at alijaffer786@hotmail.com.
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