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A Writer's Sleepless
Night
By Meryl K. Evans
I was wide awake two hours past my bedtime even though I was comfortable in bed.
Quickly, I reviewed how I was feeling. Heavy meal? No. Hungry? Nope. Did I feel
sick? No. Stressed about the next day? That's not it. I've always been a good
sleeper, roughly-eight-hours-per-night sleeper. Yet, I've had sleepless nights
like this happening more frequently this past year.
I refused to get out of bed and continued to try to relax. Ah, the problem
presented itself. My mind was racing with ideas for articles. I resorted to my
favorite trick by unloading those thoughts onto a notebook I keep in the
nightstand. I never turned on the light while doing this activity to avoid
waking up too much. Satisfied, I put the pen and paper back into the nightstand
and proceeded to return to the task at hand.
Eventually, I did fall asleep and it lasted three hours. Awake again and
annoyed, I had more ideas to jot down. I repeated the routine of writing blindly
in the quiet darkness and trying to get back to sleep. Unloading the ideas from
my mind didn't do it this time. A good night's slumber wasn't in the cards.
Restless, I slid out of bed and headed for the computer as I had done on
previous sleepless nights. I addressed a few e-mails and started working on
several articles. It wasn't a struggle. It felt like any old hour when I was on
a writing streak. Then it hit me. My occasional sleepless nights began after I
started writing regularly. Maybe jotting down a few notes wasn't enough to
please the ideas in my head. Perhaps, the ideas were eager to be poured onto a
page and made into a complete story.
As nice as it was to accomplish something, I would have preferred to get my good
night's sleep and be bright-eyed and bushy tailed in the morning. Instead, I
faced the day in a coffee-induced semi-alert state and accomplished little
during the sun's appearance. Scooby Doo could easily mistake me for one of the
zombies he encountered in his adventures. Being the two cups or less coffee
drinker that I was, I labored to get through the day, a day spent wondering
about my life as a writer, if in fact I really am one.
I received my first cold query rejection letter months ago and it didn't do it
for me. It didn't make me feel like a real writer when other writers saw this as
a defining moment. Most of my articles were published on dot coms rather than
old-fashioned paper. Although I published regularly with a major city newspaper,
they were small articles and not columnist-sized articles. I questioned my
ability as a writer and wondered if I should just quit pushing hard at it.
But, I relished researching articles and converting the research data into
flowing thoughts. Flowing thoughts became articles, which hopefully entertained,
educated, or informed readers. Or better yet, all of the above. No, I couldn't
stop this newfound habit even if it meant a few messed up nights.
This article was conceived on such a night. Thinking of its title kept me awake.
I couldn't stop playing with title ideas from "Long Writer's Journey into
the Night" to "A Hard Knock Night." I gave up on the sleep
thing to write the entire article and bless it with a title. Maybe it was right
to call myself a writer and this was part of the struggle. Undoubtedly, it was
time to embrace an occasional (thankfully) inability to slumber, because with it,
an article came to life.
Meryl is a... a... writer and computer geek from Texas who hopes not to have
another sleepless night for at least six months. Check out meryl's
notes or drop her an e-howdy at meryl@onramp.net.
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