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It's Tough to Admit You've Got a Problem By Jason Offutt I know something about your writing. It's not a secret, although you may be surprised when I tell you. Editors, proofreaders, and college professors who shake their heads a lot all know something about your writing, too. You're not any good at it. Oh, sure, you've never heard anything but praise from your family and friends, but none of them are in the business of telling you the truth. I am. And you stink. Now, the important part of this information is what are you going to do about it? If you're anything like I was when someone tipped me off that my writing stunk, you'll just be angry. I spent at least a decade of my writing life angry when I could have been on a beach somewhere sipping margaritas. I was angry with my professors who wanted me to change the fact that my sentences were 35 words long. I was angry at Mark Twain for setting the bar so high. And I was "royally flagged" at all those editors who were too ignorant/dim witted to see how good I was. It just never occurred to me I was awful. Then one day I gave in. I realized if I was going to see any of my work published, I had to change my approach to writing. So I started listening to all those silly editors who, over the years, weren't just telling my I stunk, but had been trying to explain why I stunk. I'd never learned the basics of writing. What a lot of writers don't understand is that there is a big difference between using the English language to order a pizza and using it to convey complex thoughts, ideas, and emotions. I mean, I've been driving since I was 12 years old, but that doesn't mean I know how to build a car. In order to be a good writer-- not a successful one; those have last names like King, Grisham, and Rowling and there are blasted few of them-- you must study the nuts and bolts of language and, most importantly, you must practice. Practice in your writing, and practice in your speech. For example, an average writer may say, "I'm going out to mow the lawn." A good writer would say, "I'm going to mow the lawn."* Why did I omit the word "out"? Because where the heck else would the lawn be? A lawn, by its very nature, is outside the house. You don't have to muddle your sentence by saying it. There are many more enemies of good writing. Here are a few: Adjectives: These words, much like dusty knickknacks on your grandmother's coffee table, are clutter. "The beach stretched for miles under the bright sun." Hey, that sets a nice little picture of the place I should be right now sipping those margaritas, doesn't it? But what about the word "bright"? Does it really add anything to the sentence? Or is the fact that the sun is a huge ball of nuclear fire make the point by itself? Adverbs: Much like adjectives, adverbs try to make your sentence more exciting much in the same way lettuce tries to make your sandwich more exciting. You know it's there, you're just not sure why. It doesn't help the verb, or the roast beef. "That roast beef sandwich was very good." "Very" is supposed to indicate the sandwich was better than good. Hmm, I think there's already a word for that. Great. Wordiness: Words tell a story. Words also get in the way of telling a story. How do you know when your work is too wordy? Read it aloud. If you stumble over something, it's probably in the way. Take the word out. Heck, take a few more words out. If you can take a word out of a sentence and not change the meaning of the sentence, do it. Passive voice: You've written a sentence in the passive voice when nobody does anything. "The window was thrown open and the thief made his escape." What happened-- other than the fact that I yawned? Sure, the thief got away, but how did he do it? We don't know. He didn't do anything. A sentence is written in active voice when someone does something to someone or something else. "The thief threw open the window and made his escape." There's action in active voice. Use it to make your writing more exciting. If you're reading this, it's a given that you love to write. You probably have some talent, too. But desire and talent are the easy parts of writing. The hard part is writing well, because that means you've gone to work. Get to it. * Of course, a successful writer would look at the good or average writer and say, "Here's 20 bucks. You do it." Jason Offutt teaches journalism at Northwest Missouri State University. Jason's books of humor, On Being Dad and A Small Town are available at www.rfwp.com. His book on ghost hunting, Haunted Missouri, will soon be available at Barnes and Noble.
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