Tricky Equation
By Jodi Helmer


When I graduated from high school, I promised myself three things: I would backpack through Europe, become a writer, and forget every equation I learned in Dr. Malik’s math class. I figured as long as I could calculate the exchange rate of the Deutschmark and add up the checks from my freelance income, I wouldn’t need math. After all, don’t most of us become writers and world-class backpackers because we can’t add?

Ten years after making those promises, I’ve done a bit of backpacking and I’ve launched a successful freelance writing career, but, sadly, I haven’t been able to leave my math lessons in high school. I may not calculate quadratic equations on a regular basis, but even a writer who can’t add uses numbers as part of daily life.

Recently I used my rudimentary math skills to calculate the efforts of writing for a living.

28      The number of months I have been a full-time writer
 

50      The amount of money I was paid for my first published article, a short news piece about volunteerism in Canada
 

32      The amount of money I spent to have my first check framed so I would never  forget the feeling of exhilaration for being paid to do something I love
 

7        The number of articles I wrote for free before landing a paying assignment

248    The number of queries I sent out this year-- most of them to national, glossy magazines where I dream of seeing my name between the covers

123    The number of rejection letters I’ve received-- most of them from national, glossy magazines who aren’t quite ready to publish my name between their covers
 

92      Approximate number of times I check my e-mail each day, hoping for an assignment from a national, glossy magazine
 

2        The number of writer’s workshops I’ve attended this year in an attempt to make the acquaintance of an editor who will offer me lucrative writing assignments
 

14      The number of editors I’ve met in the past year
 

0        The number who have offered me lucrative writing assignments
 

68      Gallons of tea I’ve sipped while writing feature articles, essays, and website copy until the wee hours of the morning
 

3        Notebooks filled with personal stories, interview notes, quotations, and ideas; the one place I always return to when I’m certain I will never have another original idea
 

869    Total long distance phone charges over the past year; the majority of calls were to sources, but some of them were to my best friend on the East Coast who assured me that I was a good writer, I was just going through a “dry spell.”
 

2        Time of day when I drag myself away from my desk to take a much-needed shower
 

37      Number of times I’ve thought about getting a “real job.” (This usually happens after I’ve received a harsh rejection letter, spent hours on the phone chasing down an overdue freelance payment, or talked to friends with on-the-job perks like health benefits and tuition reimbursement).

Not even Dr. Malik could arrive at an equation to calculate the value of working in a career that brings me such joy. No matter how you add up the joys and sorrows of freelance writing, the result is always the same: happiness ad infinitum. Dr. Malik would be proud.


Jodi Helmer is a freelance writer in Portland, Ore. Visit her online at www.jodihelmer.com.

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