Wordplay
on the Web
By Janis Butler Holm
You've been working hard, your concentration is shot, and you're beginning to
hate every word you've written during the last hour. Don't touch that delete
button! Instead, consider taking in a little healthy R and R.
Professional writers know that pacing yourself is an important part of the writing
process. Most of us do not work well when we treat our bodies as machines, when
we try to make them perform without pause. Learning to schedule time for breaks
and play is essential for success. In other words, recreation is a necessary
component of creation.
But what if you're broke, on a diet, caught up on the latest video releases, and
currently without a car? What's a writer to do?
Give yourself the gift of words. Surf the Net for sites that will produce a
lexical thrill or otherwise delight your language-loving mind. To get into the
swing of things, begin with something really silly; then work your way to links
that may actually prove useful for developing your writing.
Suggested Silly Starting Places
Mojo's Musical Mouseum
Find the lyrics to "A Frog Went A-Courtin'," "Eensy Weensy Spider," "The
Alphabet Song," and other childhood favorites. Regress and enjoy.
Word Play
At this pun-filled site you'll learn that dancing cheek to cheek is a form of
floor play and that corduroy pillows are making headlines. Groan.
Spam Haiku
Probably the best of the Net's "spamku," Michael Lubic's extended series
captures the essence of the Spam experience: "Oh tin of pink meat / I ponder
what you may be: / Snout or ear or feet?"
The UberLimericks of Shatner
There once was a captain named Kirk
Who from danger never did shirk.
The Klingons all feared him
The humans revered him
I need something to make this line work.
(Author Unknown)
'Nuff said.
Burma-Shave Slogans of the Fifties
From the 1920s to the 1960s, the Burma-Shave Company posted signs along the
highway, each containing a line of a rhyming verse, to be read sequentially as
people drove by. Most of the rhymes are witticisms about Burma-Shave shaving
cream or about highway safety. From the address above, you can link to collected
sign slogans, including the following gems:
Within this vale
Of toil
And sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin
Burma-Shave
Drinking drivers--
Nothing worse
They put
The quart
Before the hearse
Burma-Shave
Anagram Hall of Fame
Anagrams are words or phrases created by rearranging the letters of other words
or phrases. Did you know that "dormitory" reconfigured yields "dirty room"? That
"software" yields "swear oft"? Read and learn.
Antagonyms
According to the compiler of this list, an antagonym is a word with
contradictory meanings. Words collected here include "cleave," which can mean
either "to adhere tightly" or "to cut apart," and "dust," which can mean either
"to remove dust" or "to apply dust." Help.
OxymoronList.com
Oxymorons (technically, "oxymora") are phrases that seem to contradict
themselves, such as "act naturally," "resident alien," and that perennial
favorite, "military intelligence." Those examples are listed on this site, along
with "tight slacks" and "government organization."
The Collective Noun Page
This list offers not only legitimate, dictionary-proven collective nouns ("an
exaltation of larks," "a gaggle of geese") but also humorous nominals suggested
by word enthusiasts ("a billow of smokers," "an absence of waiters," "an
annoyance of mobile phones").
Some Tricky Tongue Twisters
In addition to classics such as
"Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers" and "She sells seashells by the
seashore," this site provides tongue-twister poems and a collection of short
twisters designed to make the speaker say rude things.
Tom Swifties
Trying to break an adverb habit? Here may be the incentive you need. Tom Swifties are adverbial puns, made popular by a 1920s cartoon strip that
featured a character named Tom Swift.
"Let's get married," said Tom engagingly.
"I'm waiting to see the doctor," said Tom patiently.
"I love hot dogs," said Tom with relish.
"This stuff bites," you'll say doggedly.
Merriam-Webster Online's Word Games
Each day's game is more challenging than its description would suggest, so be
prepared for a wee bit of humiliation before mastering this lexical sport. For
those who become hooked, Merriam-Webster offers a premium (paid) subscription
service.
Word Play: Sites That Feature Fun with Words
Links to some of the websites listed above--and to many others potentially as
entertaining-- are conveniently assembled on Judi Wolinsky's nifty "Word Play"
directory. Be sure to check out Amanda's Mnemonics Page, A Collection of Word
Oddities and Trivia, The Klingon Language Institute, and Mag's Word Finder.
Janis Butler Holm lives in Athens, Ohio, where she has served as Associate
Editor for Wide Angle, the film journal. Her essays, poems, and stories have
appeared in small-press, national, and international magazines.
