"Girl on Demand," POD-dy Mouth Blogger

Interview by Jenna Glatzer

There's a reason why most self-published (or vanity-published) books are self-published (or vanity-published)... they're bad.

Oh, don't throw things at me. You know it's true. Most of the books published by vanity presses like Xlibris, iUniverse, Author House, and PublishAmerica are not publishable by commercial standards. Many of them were turned down by "real" publishers and agents numerous times, while others were penned by hobbyists who never tried to submit their work for publication because they knew they weren't ready to compete. They just wanted to hold real, printed books with their names on the covers.

That said, almost no book reviewers welcome self-published print-on-demand (POD) books. Many have specific policies against such books. They figure, with all the good books to choose from that commercial publishers print every year, why bother wading through the piles of self-published garbage in search of those few gems that somehow wound up there?

Enter POD-dy Mouth.

She's the anonymous Penguin Putnam author who has made it her mission to review ONLY self-published POD books, and present the best ones she finds to the online reading public. Is she nuts? Is she masochistic?

Not entirely. Turns out she really enjoys finding those needle-in-a-haystack POD books that rise above their peers. Each week, she selects one book that she feels deserves a far wider audience than self-publishing/vanity-publishing usually offers. And once a year, she judges the Needle Awards: the best of the best that POD has to offer. Here at Absolute Write, we think she's an angel-- and definitely one to watch.

I understand that this all started out as sort of a joke-- you and a couple of writer-friends were just trying to make each other laugh by finding the worst self-published POD books you could find. Then something weird happened-- one of the books you picked up thinking it would be terrible wound up being terrific. So I guess we have Will Clarke to thank for your POD-dy Mouth blog.  Thanks, Will!  Now... why the devotion?  Why do you spend so much of your free time wading through garbage to find the gems?

Yes, Will Clarke is the man who turned the tide.  This was, indeed, an effort in irreverence (and still is, to some extent).  My friends and I (at first) tried to find the worst book covers, which later led us down the dark, strange path of POD titles.  We found so many bad books (not just the covers, now) that you cannot imagine.  And it has been hard not to pass some of them on to the readers of my blog, but I made a promise to try to just focus on the good titles and not the (never-ending) list of bad ones.

When I picked up Lord Vishnu's Love Handles by Will Clarke, I thought for sure I had won the Lotto of bad books.  But as fate would have it, the book turned out to be fantastic.  I've read it at least six times since I first picked it up.  And now it is on it's way to becoming an A-list film with Paramount.

And that is why I keep reading, to try and find the Will Clarkes out there.  I am so much like the people who browse through countless antique shops and flea markets in search of that hidden treasure.  It eats up much of my free time-- in fact, way too much-- but I keep trying to plug along.  And I am hoping two things will come from my blog: (1) that a lot of people will read great books they would never have found otherwise, and (2) that agents and editors will start paying attention to the POD success stories and start looking there for a way to find emerging writers.

Let's talk turkey. Approximately how many POD books have you read, and of them, what percentage are awful, what percentage are so-so, and what percentage are good enough to be published?

I have read parts or all of more than 1,000 books (last tally was in the 1,030 range).  Of those, the majority-- the vast majority-- were absolutely horrible.  Like 92%.  Then there was another 3% that were fair but lacked one or more major editing issues (plot or character development, dialogue problems, etc.).  Another 2% were this close to getting my endorsement but were missing something (and I may not have been able to put my finger on it).  These are books I read to completion and was saddened when I closed the cover that I knew I wouldn't review it.  The remaining 3% are the ones I reviewed and endorsed on my blog.

Now, of those books, a third of them are good, solid books.  Another third are very good.  And the final third are outstanding.  All of the books I reviewed are worthy of publication by a major house, and before all is said and done, I am sure some will be.  These are books that fell through the cracks for whatever reason (anything from "I didn't know I needed an agent" to "I just wanted to publish it for fun").

I feel like all wise agents and editors should keep a close eye on your blog to discover which POD authors have the ability to break out. Do you know if many "industry people" are keeping up with your blog?  Any success stories yet?

Well, I have a lot of friends in the "industry" who read it regularly, and even more in the recent months as words has spread.  The coverage in the papers has helped, too.  I've had a lot of agents and a couple editors get in touch and say, "Let me know if you come across a great such-and-such title."  So, yeah, the word is out and I think it might be making a difference.

There are some success stories already.  Three authors of books I have reviewed have already found agents since this summer and sales have increased for most of the books.  One author told me he's sold more than 150 copies as a result, others have sold zero.  Who knows?

In your opinion and experience, are there many people who actually are happy being self-published, or are most of them just settling and hoping for a commercial publisher to pick them up?

Actually, I am surprised how many folks are happy with simply self-publishing.  Granted, there are some advantages-- like complete creative control.  But the majority are trying to use it as a stepping stone.  These are folks who could not get an agent or-- in increasing numbers-- folks who had an agent (or agents) but could not make a sale, which is bizarre when you think of how many agents were once editors themselves.  What they are really saying is, "If I were still an editor at Simon & Schuster, I'd be buying your book."  That's gotta hurt.

Can you compare and contrast your experience with Penguin Putnam with the experience of a typical POD author?

It's a lot like comparing a steak dinner that someone has prepared to my liking to ordering a pizza and having to pay for each of the toppings individually.  I love my agent and I love my editor, so I am already better off than most.  I have had moderate success with my debut novel-- enough that I don't expect to be dumped but not enough that I plan on being handed another two-book deal out of the gate, so the uncertainty makes for an element of stress.  The biggest difference, of course-- besides the advance-- is that there is a huge team of folks working on behalf of my books: my editor, copyeditors, folks designing the book jacket, a publicist, etc.-- all of those things POD authors will never have (unless they pay for it . . . but let's be real).

There really is no comparison-- which is why the ultimate goal for most authors is to be published by a traditional house.  POD is cool (and even fun, in some cases) but it is hard to rationalize it as an end result.  You will never-- I mean, never-- make a living as a POD author.  In fact, most traditionally published authors can't make a living at it-- myself included.

I had read (or attempted to read) a few dozen bad POD books before I found one that I really loved. And I had an unexpected reaction to it-- it broke my heart. I knew that this book was destined to sell about 70 copies, mostly to people the author knew personally.  And that felt unfair, and it depressed me. Some days I don't want to think about the number of POD authors who deserve better because it just makes me feel lousy knowing that I somehow scored a magic ticket and they didn't. Maybe it's a variation on "survivor's guilt." You ever get that?

I get that all of the time.  I have reviewed POD books where the writing is breathtaking (as in Morning Glory's Long Lost Order of Worship or Waiting for the World to End) and others where the writing is so humorous, the timing so deftly planned (as in Isn't That Bigamy or Rated F), that I read passages six or seven times before moving on.  And I think, as you do, that it is just a twist of fate that my book is sitting in Borders and the above titles are not.  A just world this is not.

Pretend that you are suddenly declared dictator of the entire publishing industry. How would you change the way things work?

Well, for starters, my book would be required reading for all living creatures above the age of four.

After that, who cares?

But if I had to make a difference (and only a dictator could do this) I would not allow a book's success to be based on sales.  I really hate the fact that publishers are so closely tied to the stock market.  Don't get me wrong: I love capitalism, and I think the open market is how most things should be bought and sold.  But there is a reason why the folks behind mutual funds don't try to find a way to invest in art galleries or pottery houses.  Eventually popular culture becomes all popular and no culture.  And that sucks.

Do you believe that all books will be printed POD in the future?

Well, maybe not all books.  It would always make sense to print run books that are going to sell thousands out of the gate, but then eventually I believe the book will move to POD.  If John Grisham comes out with a new novel, they should go ahead and print the 250,000 hardcopies and let it go POD after that (besides, wouldn't that create increased demand, to get a print run copy?).  I feel that, eventually, all the publishers will agree that the returns model has to go-- and let the chips fall where they may.  And POD is the answer to that.  And as costs of POD production drop, it will become more appealing.

Knowing all that you now know about POD, would you ever go that route with one of your own books?

Boy, I hope I'll never need to.  But if I had a book that I truly felt was ready for the market but I could not find a publisher for it?  Sure.  I do not buy into the "POD will kill your career" garbage.  The only thing that will kill a career in writing is keeping good manuscripts in a desk drawer because two or three dozen agents/editors gave it a thumbs-down for some arbitrary reason.

Bookstores really dread dealing with POD authors because of several factors-- the books are typically unedited, overpriced, non-returnable, carry short discounts, have no publicity budget, have subpar covers, etc. I know this and you know this, yet every day I get e-mails from new POD authors who are just shocked and heartbroken that those darn bookstore managers are so "mean" to them!  I don't know where the blame belongs-- is it wrong for the POD companies not to explicitly explain to writers the reasons bookstores won't stock their books, or is it wrong for writers to fail to do research into how publishing works? Or both?

I think no one is to blame, believe it or not.  You can't force the POD companies to have each writer sign some disclaimer that reads you understand no one will stock your book.  Of course, if an author is intentionally misled (as so many folks claim about PublishAmerica) well, then that is certainly wrong and it might be time to pull out the brass knuckles.  As for the writers, they are not to blame if they did not research how the entire industry operates.  It took me years to understand and there are still things that confuse me.

It's a lot like the movie industry.  If you're an actor, the only way you'll understand how things work is by taking the hard knocks.  Sad but true.

Why did you become a writer?

I have always loved to tell stories.  At first, just verbally.  I'd be the person at the party with six people standing around me listening to some long story about anything: a trip, a boyfriend, a college class.  Eventually, it turned into jotting it down.  Then it turned into three horrible novels, then two decent ones, the a few good ones.  And here I am.

How did you find your agent?

I wish I could say that my agent pulled my manuscript from the slush pile, but the truth is I was introduced to her through a friend of a friend of a friend.  She was young and new to the biz and looking for authors and the timing was right.  Now she is a top agent and I have been blessed to enjoy the ride with her.

What are your three best tips for new writers?

(1)   Your first draft sucks.  I don't care what you think, it sucks.  The second draft does, too.  If you are submitting anything that has not been seriously vetted by you and several writer friends who can be totally honest with you, then wait.  Don't blow your one and only shot.

(2)   I'll get flak for this, but who cares: Do not send queries to submissions@someagency.com.  Find the right agent and query directly.  You do not want a college intern deciding your future as a writer.  Most of them will be going back to NYU or Vassar and smoking pot and charging sushi on Dad's credit card in a few months anyway.

(3)   Be patient.  This industry is slow. Don't go POD before you have tried to find an agent and/or editor.  If your book is good, it is worth the wait for a year to see if anyone is interested.  POD will be there when you get back.  Besides, POD is fast.  If you get a book deal, it would take a year before it gets in print.  POD will catch you right back in within a month.

Anything else you'd like to add?

Keep an eye out for the Needle Awards in March 2006, where I will pick the best books of 2005 and let some agents and editors pick the best of the bunch-- and then I'll full court press them to some folks in New York!

Visit the POD-dy Mouth blog at http://girlondemand.blogspot.com

Jenna Glatzer is the editor in chief of www.absolutewrite.com and the author of a lot of books, including Celine Dion's authorized biography. Her latest book for writers is Make a Real Living as a Freelance Writer, which is available at www.jennaglatzer.com. Pick it up and get a free editors' cheat sheet!

Sponsored links

Ring binders

 

Make a Real Living as a Freelance Writer!

How to find a book publisher

Home

Text on this site Copyright © 1998-2007 Absolute Write, all rights reserved.
Please contact the authors if you'd like to reprint articles on this site.  All copyrights are retained by original authors.  And plagiarizers will be rounded up, handcuffed, and stuck into a very small and humid room wherein they must listen to Barney sing the "I Love You, You Love Me" song over and over again.

writers writing software