Interview With Larry
James
Interview by Jenna Glatzer
Larry James is
the author of several relationships/self-help books. He is also a professional speaker. He presents "Relationship Enrichment
LoveShops" nationally for singles and couples. Larry is on staff with Dr. John Gray, Ph.D.
Why did you write your book, "How to Really Love the One You're With" and what made you decide to publish something so personal?
This book was inspired by a broken heart. While in therapy and while recovering from a changing relationship, I began to write my own guidelines for a relationship, never intending to publish them as a book. When I showed them to my therapist and asked him to offer any suggestions or changes, he encouraged me to write more and publish them for everyone to read. He told me that they were the best guidelines he had ever seen written by a non-therapist. At first I was reluctant, however word began to get around that I had a 44-page booklet that offered healthy guidelines for a relationship. My friends and other authors encouraged me and "How to Really Love the One You're With" was born; all 282 pages of it.
Which came first -- writing or speaking?
Writing. I wrote for my high school newspaper for three years. I've written lyrics and music to nine songs and numerous poetry over the years. Speaking came next; something I had always wanted to do. In 1972, I started training real estate associates at Detrick, Realtors in Tulsa, Oklahoma and as assistant training director, wrote 17 real estate courses. In 1987 I began presenting "Business Networking Seminars" and real estate training full-time with my own company. My first book, "The First Book of Life Skills," was adapted from my networking seminar. In 1992, when my relationship fell apart and after "How to Really Love the One You're With" was published, I began to write relationship articles for numerous magazines and the Internet. My third and fourth books, "LoveNotes for Lovers" and "Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers" were published in 1995 and 1999.
How did you establish yourself as an "expert" in the love and romance field?
After my relationship breakup, my perception of me as a relationship expert was the furthest thing from my mind. However, during therapy and after my therapist consistently reminded me that my insight into what a "healthy" relationship should be was far above average, I began to focus all my energy on researching and studying relationships. He reminded me that I had a vast knowledge of "what doesn't work" and I should proceed from that point, tell it like it "really" is and don't mince words. Knowing that I did not want to repeat mistakes of the past, I decided to devote my career to helping others learn better ways of having healthy love relationships.
How did you associate yourself with author Dr. John Gray, Ph.D. (Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus)?
Before I ever met Dr. Gray, he had already endorsed two of my relationship books. An odd series of events led to my acquaintance with Michael Najarian. At that time, Michael was president of Dr. Gray's seminar company. In January, 1996, Michael asked me if I would be interested in joining the staff of Dr. Gray and in becoming the host of the "Mars & Venus" chat room on America Online. I was his chat room host for over three years and am now the Associate Producer of the nationally syndicated "Mars/Venus" radio talk show. Michael is the host.
Why did you set up your own independent publishing company rather than seek a traditional publisher?
I don't like rejection. ;-) I soon discovered -- after sending out numerous book proposals -- that I was better at writing books than writing proposals. I also decided that the quickest way to get the word out was to independently publish my own books. Getting my books in major book stores was the next major challenge. My author and speaker friend, Gregory J.P. Godek (1001 Ways to Be Romantic), referred me to his book distributor and the rest is history.
You are a whiz at networking. What are some of the ways you've sought publicity for your books?
I've been called a "Shameless Self-Promoter," a title I can be proud of. If you are an author and you are
shy... you most likely will not be successful. If you an author and you are "not into
marketing"... GET OVER IT!! Even if you have a publisher and unless you are a Dr. John Gray or Stephen King, you must understand that if your book is going to sell, YOU must do the marketing and promotion. I learned very fast that if I wanted others to know about my books, I was the one who had to do the marketing, promotion, etc. A networking call to another speaker friend led me to a very special appearance on ABC TV's "The View." Barbara Walters did the interview. Having been a guest on more than 450 radio talk shows, I have found talk shows to be the best way to reach the largest audiences fastest. I recommend Kathy Kerchner's book, "Soundbites: A Business Guide to Working With the Media" to learn what you must know to give good interviews. I have written numerous magazine articles and offer them as content for magazines and for websites. Another win-win idea is to trade links from my website to other relationship websites.
How did you get the wonderful blurbs for your books?
In my networking seminar I teach that you have to "ask for what you want." I began with a personal letter to Og Mandino, Tom Hopkins, Dr. John Gray, Dr. Bruce Fisher and others and found them very receptive to endorsements. Only a few did not respond. I'll mention no names. ;-) I networked with numerous friends who had received endorsement from people I wanted to contact and found that most were more than willing to share an address and phone number.
Any tips for book signings?
I learned very quickly that book signings were better intended to develop great relationships with the booksellers rather than to sell stacks of books. I have a list of book signing tips available in an article called, "38 Ways to Make Your Next Book Signing an EVENT!" They are available at
http://www.CelebrateLove.com/booksigningtips.htm.
On your website, www.CelebrateLove.com, you offer much more than most typical "author pages." You give many excerpts from your books, relationship articles, etc. Do you ever fear that you're giving too much away?
Never! I believe that the more you share with others, the more others share with you and the better your life works. This way of thinking works! My purpose is to share the possibility of healthy love relationships with as many people as possible. I will do whatever I need to do to fulfill that purpose.
Where did you find all the great quotes for your books, and did you have to get permission to use them?
Many hours of research in books I owned and the public library. Too bad, but when I wrote my first relationship book, I had not yet discovered the Internet. What a time-saver that would have been. Copyright law states that -- to paraphrase -- a brief excerpt with an acknowledgment of the author does not violate copyright law. My attorney concurred. Besides, I would have had trouble finding Plato's address. ;-)
What's one thing you wish you'd learned earlier about the publishing business?
Although the attitude of book reviewers toward "independent publishers" has changed a lot over the years, I could have saved a lot of money by NOT sending my first book to them. Lots of money. I'll take a great endorsement over a "hoped for" book review any day. I've been very fortunate to have friends like Mark Victor Hansen (Chicken Soup for the Soul), Greg Godek, Dan Poynter (The Self-Publishing Manual: How to Write, Print & Sell Your Own Book) and others who have shared their expertise with me from the beginning.
What's coming up next for you?
I'm looking for a publisher for my three relationship books. I've proven that I am great at self-promotion by selling over 100,000 books. I would like to have more time to devote to writing more books. I have several other ideas for books that have had to be put on the back burner. Juggling the time to promote and market one book is a snap, but four keeps me busy. I would also like to devote more time to promotion of my speaking career.
Anything further you'd like to add?
Yes. There is a wealth of information for authors and speakers on my website, in addition to the relationship stuff. The authors/speakers pages are designed to help you in your career just as I was assisted in the beginning of my career You'll find links for marketing, publishing, writing, special promotions, media contacts, book signing tips, radio interview info, a special book store for authors and speakers and much more! Take what you can use and pass the information on to your friends.
http://www.CelebrateLove.com/authors.htm
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For information about Larry James' work or to order a personally autographed book call: 800 725-9223. CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. E-Mail:
LarryJames@CelebrateLove.com
http://www.CelebrateLove.com
