Interview with Mark
Binder
Interviewed by Jenna Glatzer
Mark is a humorist, novelist, playwright, and freelance writer. His
humor book "Crumbs Don't Count: A Rationalization Diet" was published
by Avon Books in 1998. He's had several plays produced, short stories and
humor columns published, and is now working on a serialized novel, "The Brothers
Schlemiel," to be sold via e-mail.
How did you know you were a writer?
I didn't. I was trying to get laid. Can I say that? Is this a "family" site? Ok, I was trying to have sex, and the girl I
was with was an "artist." She was always drawing. I needed something to do. I got into
the habit. After a while, I couldn't quit. I tried a few times, but the pull was too strong. It's a bit like an addiction. Now I'm not
really qualified to do anything else.
Short stories are arguably one of the toughest writing forms to sell.
How did you manage to sell your first short story five times?
The magazines kept folding. I was lucky, though, they kept paying me in advance. Actually, one magazine
bought it three times. They kept forgetting to run it, and forgetting to pay me, so every time I
resubmitted it, I gave them a new invoice. I only feel a little guilty. They finally published it. Maybe I should bill them again.
Tell us about the experience of seeing your first play performed.
The first time I saw a play performed it was an assignment: "Write a
three act play in one page." I directed it myself, and it was brilliant. (Many pats on the back.) It's a real rush when everything clicks and
you see it all looking completely different than you expected. My talent as a
director is to take the writer's words and make them work given the stage and the
actors. At the time, I was a better director than I was writer, which is fortunate for the show, but makes it
hard to get your plays produced.
You've recently had a humor book published by Avon Books. How did you
pitch CRUMBS DON'T COUNT- A RATIONALIZATION DIET?
Through an agent. She sold the one book. The book was overpriced and sold 7,000 copies of 35,000
printed. She wasn't interested in anything else I wrote.
We went through a process of rewriting the proposal, and then altering the pitch based on which editor bought it. It's a fluffy book -- not the
worst thing I've written, but who the heck prices a skinny humor book at $6.50? I mean you look at the book, are amused, and
then turn to the back cover... "Hmm, maybe I'll buy this," you think. "How much....
Six-fifty? For this? No way!" And then it goes back on the shelf. Usually in the wrong place.
How do you feel about editors changing or cutting your words?
As long as they pay me a lot of money...
Actually, it's rare that I get a chance to see how an editor does it. I'm pretty careful these days. I read all
my stories aloud, so most of the clunkers are edited out. Usually, when they ask me to cut a 1500 word
story down to 1200 I do the work myself and the story gets better.
How important is the skill of "selling yourself" to becoming a
successful writer? Any tips?
Don't sell yourself, sell your work. Unless you're trying to do freelance non-fiction. In which case the editor needs to know you.
Tips? You want me to give tips to the competition? Ok. But keep in mind I might be lying in order to send you down a wrong tunnel...
Tips:
Sell the work before you write it. It's incredibly satisfying to do this. When you work the other way
around, you need to find the editor who thinks the work can sell after you've put months, years, decades
into the thing. This is called "the hard way."
Now, how do you sell it before you write it? For me, it's been a long hard way. I'm still trying to figure it out.
One of the joys of writing "The Brothers Schlemiel" -- my serialized novel, is knowing that I've got a paying
fiction writing gig for the next two years. That's why I'm not hurrying and writing the whole thing next month.
Name some creative ways you've promoted your work.
Postcard, posters, emails, web sites.... Business cards with stories printed on the back.
None of them help sell to a publisher (so far), but they do attract the occasional reader/audience member.
Write good press releases.
New writers often ask where to start-- classes, "how-to" books, etc.
What worked for you?
Writing bad things for years. Some of which were pretty good.
I got kicked out of writing groups for being too critical. And I hated rewriting and listening to other people's
comments about what they thought I was trying to do with this piece, so writing classes sucked.
(Family paper word -- "really sucked.")
How to books are amusing. Why are the authors writing how-to books people you've never heard of?
How has the Internet changed your career?
We'll see how "The Brothers Schlemiel" goes. As far as I know it's the first novel serialized via email.
(Shameless plug number Two: Your readers can get a free five episode e-subscription by visiting
http://www.chelmtales.com and subscribing!)
Tell us a bit about the publishing process-- what happens after a
publisher says, "We want to buy your book"?
Then I write it. Then they send me half of the advance check. Then I wait. Then I wait. Then I wait. Then they ask for rewrites. I do that.
Then I wait. Then I wait. Then I wait. Then I get the other half of the advance check. Then I wait....
Eventually the book comes out. By then the kids are much older.
Any tips for freelancers about how to negotiate for better terms and
avoid getting ripped off by fly-by-night publications?
1) Read the contract.
2) If they don't have a contract, write one.
2.5) Don't give away your electronic rights.
3) Keep notes.
4) Call back when they don't pay you or don't pay you enough. Keep calling. Keep calling.
5) Don't write for fly-by-night publications -- unless you get paid up front.
Anything further you'd like to add?
Sure, here's the rant.
The publishing industry is terrified. The traditional "book" medium is going to be almost wiped out in the
next 5 years by the ebook. Paper books are going to be like radio is to television -- still an excellent
medium, but not the king.
Here's the fact: Editors don't buy books because they like them. They buy them because they think they can
sell them. I can't tell you how many editors and agents have said, "I liked this book, but I can't sell it."
And you know what? They're right.
Think of the last book you read that you didn't already know about -- whether it was the author or heard about on NPR or saw in the "New and
Notable" shelf at Barnes & Noble. (By the way, did you know that publishers pay money to get on that shelf?)
So how do you sell a pretty good book by "Mark Binder" that doesn't contain blood and sex? In fact, it's
a bit "humorous," but in terms of ha-ha laugh out loud it's not as funny as the last episode of "Friends."
The kiss of death. It would sit on the shelf for a decade.
More books are being printed than ever before, but the same guys (mostly) who sold five years ago are at the
top: Stephen King, Clive Cussler, John Grisham... They're brand names. Reliable to churn out a (shudder)
product that you can count on. I hate the word product, but those guys are good at it.
Here's the challenge. How does "Mark Binder" become that kind of a brand? How do you?
Luck, hard work, and a good book.
And try to have fun along the way, because you might be dead before you get there.
Visit Mark's site at www.markbinder.com and
find out more about his novel at www.chelmtales.com.
