Norma Khouri

Editor's note: Thank you to our readers, who have alerted us that this book appears to have been fiction. According to Australian newspaper The Age, Khouri is a woman with a violent criminal record who lived in Chicago from the age of three on, and there was no such woman as Dalia. See these articles for more details: http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/07/30/1091080433708.html
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/07/26/1090693899061.html

Norma and Dalia were innocent 3-year-olds when they forged a friendship over the swing sets in a neighborhood park in Amman, Jordan. At age 25, the two girls started N&D's, a unisex hairstyling salon, where they shared secrets and forbidden cigarettes. They were watched by Dalia's brother at all times; for that is life in the rigid, male-dominated Arabic culture of Jordan. It is at N&D's that life tempts Dalia into making her first mistake. She falls in love with Michael, a major in the Royal Army, and worse, a Catholic. The budding romance is nurtured by Norma and Michael's sister who plan secret rendezvous for the duo. But one false move and Dalia's brother sniffs something suspicious. When discovered, Dalia, despite her chaste relationship, is brutally murdered by her family, in the name of "protecting family honor." A devastated Norma felt compelled to expose the truth in the form of a riveting memoir Honor Lost - Love and Death in Modern-day Jordan, written in secret in an Internet cafe in Greece. She did so by fleeing her homeland, certain that she would face death if she attempted to raise her voice from within.

I sat on that plane with very mixed emotions and a lot of fear. I was frightened of what I would find, or where my life would lead. But I was very upset to be on that plane alone... the three of us were supposed to be on that plane together... and so it was very sad. I cried all the way to Athens.

How and when did you decide to use a book as a vehicle to tell your story to the world? Tell us about your first publishing success - was it a short story, a poem?

When I was in Greece and realized by speaking to the women there, because they had no idea that these things were happening in Jordan, only a short flight away, I realized that I had to publish the story and let the world know what was happening there. My first success was a poem called Sands of Time... and it is about unfulfilled dreams.

Was the thought of writing a book daunting, given your lack of experience in this area?

It took me a few months to write it, but several more to type it out... my typing has greatly improved now. The most challenging thing was reliving all of the events, especially the days of her murder. I would become very emotional and upset, and would have to walk away from it for hours at a time to be able to cope with all of the emotions I was feeling.

How did you find a publisher for it?

I was told I would need an agent, and so looked up agents e-mail addresses online, and began e-mailing them letters about the book and my reasons for wanting to publish it. And before I could e-mail all of the agents on my list, Christy Fletcher from Carlisle and Company in NY e-mailed me back right away, the same day, and offered representation. She placed it with the top publishers in 16 different countries.

What have been your efforts to market the book?

I have done magazine and newspaper interviews, radio and television shows, public speaking engagements, and readings. I am currently booked for various events and shows (radio/TV) for several months to come in different countries.

How has the book been received? Both in terms of copies sold, and in tackling the burning issue of "honor killings"?

The majority of the responses that I have gotten are extremely supportive and positive. People are getting involved in the campaign to outlaw honor killing, and cancel articles 340 and 98 of the Jordanian penal code. I do not know about number of copies sold because I prefer that my publishers do not tell me. But I do know that it is either number 1 or in the top ten of most of the countries it has been released in, and that all of the countries where it has been released have already done, or are doing, reprints.

Do you have any feedback at all from Jordan about reactions to the book?

As a result of an Arabic article that was done on me recently in an Arabic magazine that published the email address where I collect letters of objections to honor killings (honourcrimes@lycos.com) I have received several supportive emails from Jordanian people... men and women.

Are you a full-time writer or do you have another job?

Right now I am running and maintaining this campaign which takes the majority of my time because I am the only one that responds to and deals with the thousands of e-mails that are received at that address. The rest of my time is dedicated to public speaking engagements for women's organizations, and other organizations.

Did writing help heal the terrible wounds?

Writing has always been a way for me to release the emotions I am feeling. It helped me in dealing with my feelings and putting everything into perspective. The wounds I feel will not heal until the laws are canceled and honor crimes are outlawed, so that no more innocent women are slaughtered in this way.

Why did you move from Greece to Australia?

I moved from Greece to Australia because when I first arrived in Greece I thought I must have arrived in the middle of some festival season. But quickly realized that was just the way of life there. I love Greece and the Greek people, and admire them for their passion for life, and their energy... but could not keep up with the pace of life there. Some Greek/Australian friends came to Greece over the Christmas holidays and described Australia, and life in Australia, and I thought ... tell me more. It sounded like heaven on earth... and I have found that to be true. I love Australia, and my life here.

Do you have a new identity now?

No, I don't think closure will come until I reach my goal of canceling articles 340 and 98 of the penal code - the two laws that sanction these murders and protect the perpetrators of these crimes. The UN estimates that 5000 women a year are murdered in this way. Since Dalia's death in 1996 that would mean we have lost close to 40,000 women... and these crimes still continue... every day, every week... I will not have closure until this is outlawed, and these women have legal protection.

How does it feel to live life with the constant fear of being caught out?

Life in the West is wonderful, but I still feel guilty because I have these rights and the women that I know and love in Jordan still do not have access to these rights. It has changed me, it has made me more confident, and has given me a bigger mouth.

Isn't Michael's life in danger in Jordan?

I plan on going to a university to get a degree in international law so that I can continue to fight for women's rights in Jordan and the many other countries in the region.

Please provide us with some ordering information about the book so readers can buy copies.

Yes... for the readers... Please remember that Dalia represents the millions of other women that are still struggling in Jordan. Get involved, send letters of objections to honourcrimes@lycos.com. I also want them to know that a portion of the proceeds from all sales goes to human rights organizations and women's organizations that are fighting to outlaw honor killings. For writers... write what is in your heart and people will respond.