Rosie Show

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How I Got on The Rosie O’Donnell Show and Sold a Gazillion Books
by Bill Adler, Jr.
Author, Outwitting Squirrels

I didn’t do anything to get on The Rosie O’Donnell Show. They called me. End of story.

Well, not exactly the end of the story.

When a producer of The Rosie O’Donnell Show (the number 1 rated talk show in the country), called to invite me on, I knew that this was good news. I also knew that I’d have to work a little to ensure that this phone call turned into reality. But before I tell you about getting on The Rosie O’Donnell Show, I should explain why the show called in the first place.

In 1988 I wrote a book called Outwitting Squirrels: 101 Cunning Stratagems to Reduce Dramatically the Egregious Misappropriation of Seed From Your Birdfeeder by Squirrels. My proposal was rejected by 20 publishers, but I had faith: The 21^st publisher said, "yes!" and offered me an $800 advance. That’s $400 up front, and $400 when I delivered the manuscript. I took the deal anyway, because I had great faith in my idea, and I was right. Between 1988 and 1997, Outwitting Squirrels has sold over 150,000 copies.

One of the people who bought a copy of Outwitting Squirrels was Rosie O’Donnell. Like millions of people who feed birds, Rosie has problems with squirrels, and Outwitting Squirrels, offers solutions. (At the very least, you can throw the book at squirrels.)

It was partly the subject, and partly the way I wrote the book that suggested to Rosie that I might be a good guest. While Outwitting Squirrels is a very, very important subject—after all, if we can’t outwit squirrels, how can we expect to get a astronaut to Mars?—I wrote the book with a sense of humor and perspective. Sure, millions of dollars may be spent by Americans trying to thwart squirrels, but it’s not really the squirrels’ fault. Squirrels don’t pay taxes, they don’t read books on getting published, they don’t watch television: When you and I go off to work, squirrels have one thing on their mind: birdseed.

Rosie liked Outwitting Squirrels. But doing a major talk show is more involved than simply showing up on that day. The Rosie O’Donnell Show wanted a squirrel video and they wanted to have a great show So I promised a video, and I made arrangements to talk with the show’s prop department people about visual items. I called them to see what they needed.

I have learned from being on other talk shows that producers love it when their guests can help put a show together. Be it props (in my case stuffed squirrels and birdfeeders), or other guests – anything you can do to make it easier for the show will make it easier for you to get on that show. Producers are typically juggling a dozen or more shows at the same time and if you essentially tell them that you will do all the work for them, not only will they want you on that show, but they might put you in their will, too. Anything that you can do to show the producer that you are 1) normal, 2) helpful, 3) humorous (even if your book is on a serious subject) will help you both get on the show and make it a better program, as well. One talk show producer once told me in gratitude, "Thanks for being so normal¾ you don’t know how many kooks we get."

I also had to have a flexible schedule to ensure that I could be on the show. The date that they had originally wanted me to be on The Rosie O’Donnell Show I was scheduled to be in Hawaii for a long-deserved vacation. I tried to figure out a way to fly to New York City, then back to Hawaii in a day, but it just didn’t work. So, sheepishly, I told the producer that that date wasn’t good. (I almost canceled the Hawaii trip, but there’s such a thing as marriage.) I took the next date that they suggested because a little voice inside said, "If you tell them ‘no’ twice, you can forget it." Maybe that voice wasn’t telling the truth, but I didn’t want to test it.

Being on The Rosie O’Donnell Show was a hoot. It was one of the most enjoyable afternoons I had. Renee Russo, who was Rosie’s earlier guest, stayed for my segment¾ the three of us were just rolling around with laughter. When I suggested to Rosie O’Donnell that the best way to outwit squirrels is to get down on your hands and knees, crawl around your yard, and look at birdfeeders from the squirrels’ perspective, Rosie did just that on stage. The audience howled.

The week after the show was aired, Outwitting Squirrels shot up to the number 1 position on Ingram’s nature bestseller list. (Ingram is the largest book distributor in the world), and number 2 on Amazon.com’s gardening bestseller list. Orders moved at the fastest pace they ever had.

What lessons have I learned from this experience? (A phrase my wife and I use to describe minor mistakes or attacks of brilliance in parenting, such as leaving the house without a spare diaper for our 1-year-old.) Being on The Rosie O’Donnell Show, and having done hundreds of other radio and television programs, as well as newspaper and magazine interviews, have taught me a few things. Here are some general truisms about book publicity:

Never leave the job of publicity to the publisher alone. Nobody knows the market¾ and potential media outlets¾ for your book as well as the author.

Pay attention to your local media market. Your local radio, television and newspapers are always looking for home-brewed stories. Find out the names of the shows and publications, the editors and reporters involved with your book’s subject. Then write, call or fax them.

Send out your own press releases to the media, especially local media. In your release, you can say, "To arrange an interview, or obtain a review copy, you can call the author directly at xxx-xxx-xxxx." (Be sure that this is okay with your publisher; most of the time, publishers are happy to send out review copies.) While the publisher will be the one to send out review copies, you want to make it easy for talk shows by giving them a single number to call, rather than having to call the publisher for a book and you for an interview.

Never turn down an interview, not matter how small or obscure the publication or show. You never know who’s watching. Besides, the more you do, the better you’ll be.

Get in touch with the national media. At any given time there are a dozen or so major television talk shows¾ and dozens more minor ones¾ and they are always looking for guests. You never know. I mean, I would never have guessed that The Rosie O’Donnell Show would want me for Outwitting Squirrels. But they did. You can’t get on television, radio, or in a magazine if the person in charge doesn’t know about you and your book.

If you’ve been on television before, mention that. Every radio and television producer is a little bit nervous that their guest will choke (or worse), so if you’ve had experience in front of a camera before that will make the producer more relaxed about having you. If you have a video of a show you have been on, send that to the producer. (I’m assuming it’s a good video.)

If you step on the foot of the talk show host while you’re on air, just forget about it. (My size 10 right foot slammed right on top of Rolanda’s foot as we were talking, but we went right on, as if nothing had happened.)

Let your publisher know about shows you are going to be on. This is very important. Publishers want to alert their sales people and booksellers that there may be a surge in sales in a particular geographic region. (If nothing else, a forthcoming appearance on a program can inspire bookstores to order more copies of your book.)

Do book signings. Call or write every single local bookstore and do an in-store signing. People like buying autographed books and bookstores give signed books a little push. If you are going to be in another city, get in touch with bookstores there, too.

Obtain some good media contact lists. You can find out about these media lists in Publishers Weekly, Small Press magazine and The Literary Market Place. You can purchase the names of tens of thousands of editors, producers and talk show hosts for as little as $500. Well worth the money. Very well worth the money. If you have a computer with a fax modem, you can send out your own mailing with just a dash of computer savvy. At about $10 a fax, you can reach 2,000 radio talk shows, for example, for only $200.

Work with your publisher. Write a press release for them. (Keep it to one page.) Let your publicist know that you are available 24-hours a day to do book promotion, that no publication is too small, and that you are delighted to do last minute interviews. Give your publicist all your phone numbers, email address, fax number—every way to get in touch with you. If you are going out of town, let your publisher know where you will be

Continue to promote your book as long as it’s in print. While shows like to interview authors of recently published books, if your book is topical, interesting, or helpful, you will be in demand for the life of your book. I’m still promoting Outwitting Squirrels years after it was published.

If you can afford it, hire your own publicist. They’re worth every penny.

If you are going to be on television, ask about what you should wear. Some shows prefer casually dressed guests; others are more formal. Ask if you will be improved with makeup; if not, then put some makeup on yourself. (This applies to men, too.)

Let producers know that you can help them put the show together by providing props and finding other guests. Then make sure you do that.

Thank everyone. They’ll remember you for next time.

Watch television, listen to the radio and read magazines. This is one of the best ways to find out about shows and publications that might be good for promoting your book.

If a friend who’s also written a book calls for the name of a producer at some show, don’t give out that name unless you really, absolutely, 100 percent, think that person will be great on the show. I think you know why.

Tell all your friends to watch you.

Write essays and articles for your friends’ books in exchange for their promoting your book in their book.

___________________________

Author Bill Adler, Jr. is the President of Adler & Robin Books Literary Agency in Washington, DC. He has written over 15 books including Outwitting Squirrels, Outwitting Critters, Outwitting the Neighbors, Outwitting Deer, Outwitting Home Remodelers, and Outwitting Toddlers. You can find out more about his agency at http://www.adlerbooks.com.

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