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Verbs with Verve Do you want passionate prose? Do you want vivacious characters? Do you want readers and editors to feel the energy of your carefully crafted story? Then infuse your verbs with verve. A verb is the foundation of a sentence, the action, the sizzle and the flash. You wouldn’t deliberately choose apathetic verbs, forcing readers to plod from one passive sentence to the next. Editors will not tolerate lifeless sentences for long before reaching for a rejection slip. You can have an exciting subject and still form dull sentences. For example "The axe-murderer walked across the room, holding his bloody weapon." Interesting enough, but tweak it with scintillating verbs and watch it sing: "The axe-murderer lunged across the room, swinging his bloody weapon." Only the verbs changed, yet the second sentence paints a more lurid picture. Here is another example "The acrobat jumped from her high perch, making the crowd gasp." Try "The acrobat swooped from her high perch, wringing gasps from the crowd." Instead of "The family went sailing in their sailboat," use "The family plied the seas, forging through the waves in their sailboat." When you use fantastic verbs, you won’t need a lot of adjectives or adverbs. Consider "The teen sat loosely on the rumpled couch, taking up most of the room." Awkward and overlong. "The teen sprawled on the rumpled couch" is much clearer. Always convert passive verbs to active ones. The number one rule of writing applies here: show, don’t tell. Exhibit A: "She was talking incessantly." Exhibit B: "She expounded." The second sentence is crystal clear, discarding both the ambiguous "was" and the unnecessary adverb. Another illustration is "The choir was enjoying the break." Change it to "The choir savored the break." Another clue pointing to passive sentences is the -ing ending on the verb, usually used with "was". Read your work out loud. The minute you hear "was" or a passive sentence, reword the sentence. Think of the fuzzy "was-es" as a dust-bunny that must be obliterated to clean up your story. Having trouble deciding if your sentence is passive? First, find the subject and the action. Then rework it, dropping any unnecessary adjectives, adverbs or the dreaded "was." Never have your character "start to" or "try to" do something, just have him do it. "He started to leave" can be converted to "He left." The beginning of the action is implied and gives the reader credit for filling in the blanks. If the action is interrupted, show that, too. "He left, but she begged him to return." Your verb must be in the correct tense. Look at the sentence and ask yourself when it happened, the past, present or future. Reading aloud focuses in on any inconsistencies, so you can adjust accordingly. In some instances, the perfect verb for your sentence may not exist. You know what you want to say; there just isn’t a word for it. Make one up! If the invented word makes sense in the sentence and conveys the action you intended, go for it. I used this technique in my short story "Blood Relative." "His hand wisps down my cheek." Following these techniques will help you choose energetic verbs, portray the action in lively ways and elevate your prose out of the slush pile. Add some verve to your verbs and vitalize your writing. Shaunna Privratsky lives in Fargo, North Dakota with her husband Wade and
adorable children, Erica and Alex. In addition to writing, she enjoys reading,
decorating, gardening and collecting teapots. Shaunna has published more than
fifty articles and stories. Check out "The Writer Within" at http://shaunna67.tripod.com
or contact her at HUNT200@msn.com. |
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