reginapride

Small Sacrifices- The First Novel by Regina Pride

Small Sacrifices has just been published by Iuiniverse.com. You can order it by clicking here. Price is $18.95, ISBN 0-595-14315-6. It is also now available at Barnes and Noble online and Booksamillion.com.

Brief Synopsis

At eighteen, Brian Clark is ready to leave Akron Ohio and attend college at Ohio State. But when his parents are killed, he stays to raise his twelve-year-old brother Tommy. Instead of getting his degree in business, Brian spends years working two jobs to provide for Tommy's upbringing. At twenty, Brian falls in love with Pamela Carlyle, a gentle but strong-hearted girl who makes his family whole again. But when she gets pregnant four years later, Brian refuses to put his life on hold again. He dumps Pam for college in L.A., but guilt drives him to drink and self-destruct. And after he pulls himself together, he wonders if he can reclaim his family.

Chapter One

"God, yes. Yes, Brian. That's it! Keep going!"

Oh yeah. He'd keep going all right. The more she begged, the faster Brian pumped. He mounted her, griped her hips with his knees, ground her circularly, then up and down. Emily's breath came in short little bursts, and Brian grinned. This was the performance of his life. And why not? He had graduated from high school, his prom date was gorgeous, he'd never see her again, and what better way to give her something to remember him by? After all, they were doing what they both loved best.

Brian looked at Emily as he thrust inside her. He rarely closed his eyes when he was screwing a girl. He liked to see her reaction, to assure himself he was giving her what she wanted. Emily grinned, drawing him closer so her breasts crushed against his chest. He enjoyed the sweet rocking of his strokes, then gasped as Emily lifted her hips from the bed, guiding him to her own vigorous rhythm.

She licked her lips, pleased with the look on his face. "I want on top, lover," she grunted as he clutched his back. "You've had your fun. It's my turn now."

Brian knew she would be aggressive. She had a stamina that nearly matched his own, and it made him hotter than he had been in months. "Why not?" he shrugged as he winked at her. "I think you've earned it at this point." He stayed inside her as he rolled over, leaning back as Emily churned away. She placed her hands on his sides as her breasts rose invitingly near his chin. Brian patted her hips gently, then softly took her nipple in his mouth, teasing it as it grew harder under his tongue. They had both done it several times, but it was their first and last time together. What the hell took us so long? Brian thought as she rotated her body and closed her legs, bringing a joyous yell out of him.

He gave her five minutes, then took over. He grabbed her and placed her back beneath him, spreading her legs so he fitted comfortably. Emily screamed, then smiled. She didn't mind his dominance. A guy who was this good deserved it any way he wanted.

Brian thrust faster, knowing it would be over any second. Then, finally, Emily arched back, and he came seconds after he felt her release. Brian stilled, rested his head on her shoulder, then slowly glided out of her.

"Jesus Christ," he sighed, catching his breath, then laughed heartily. "That was incredible. I don't think it was ever better."

"I know." Emily draped her arms around him, trailing her fingers along his back. "Too bad we picked grad night to make the conquest."

Brian nodded. He knew she was moving to New York next week, settling there before attending Cornell University that fall.

He looked down at the bed and its scrambled sheets, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "Are you sure your sister won't catch us?" he chuckled, almost liking the thought. They had driven to the apartment after the ceremony, grabbing their last chance to fulfill their fantasies.

"Are you kidding? She's an intern. She's at the hospital twenty-four hours a day. She won't be back tonight."

"Too bad she wasn't free to see you graduate. Your parents were there, and so was your little brother."

Emily just shrugged. "We've never been that close. She's eight years older than me. I barely missed her."

Finding that strange, Brian said nothing. He was six years older than his brother Tommy, but that didn't stop them from being close. And if Tommy hadn't been at the graduation with their parents, Brian definitely would have missed him.

Emily smiled and ran her hand down his chest, tracing it in small circles. "You know, despite how good tonight was, it was pretty much a waste. We could have been doing this all year."

"Really? Are you forgetting Derek McConnell, your two hundred pound quarterbacker? You were joined at the hip until you finally dumped him?"

"You could have worked around that. I know you have before. And you never asked me out after I left him."

"I was busy. I had my own commitments, with school, music, and other girls."

"Meaning you had plenty to fuck?"

"More or less. But we got our night. I don't want it to end with regrets."

"Me neither." She kissed him lightly on the mouth. "And I'm glad I'm with you. After all, this is the most exciting night of our lives."

Brian nodded in agreement. He felt good, and was ready for whatever life offered him.

"So it's Cornell, huh?" he asked as he caressed her breast. "The Ohio colleges aren't good enough for you?"

"They're fine. They're just not New York. I visit my cousin there every year, and nothing is going to keep me from it. Besides, I like their science department, and I think I can learn to be a good chemist there."

"And that's your only reason for going?"

"What else is there?"

"Come on, Emily. You and I are alike. The main attraction to New York is its distance from your parents. You want to make sure they can't look over your shoulder. And you want to prove to yourself you can make it without them. Am I warm?"

"Boiling over," she admitted. "But if we're so alike, why are you going to Ohio State? Your parents can drive there from Akron in a few hours."

"That's fine. I want to leave the nest, but I'm not ready to cut the ties. My family's important to me, and it's nice to know they're not far, if I ever need them." And he was hoping the short distance would be easier on Tommy. "Sounds corny, huh?"

"A little. But I guess you're right. I'm not anxious to get away from my folks, but I've wanted this for so long. It's time to move on."

"Amen to that." Brian's fingers traveled from her stomach to her thigh, lightly tickling the dark fur between her legs. Emily giggled.

"Very nice," she murmured, kissing his neck. "And what about you? Will music be your focus in college?"

"Nope. I'll major in business, but I really want to have both."

"I'm surprised you're not heading for Hollywood. You could be the next Tom Cruise with your looks, plus you have your singing."

Brian laughed, but he wasn't embarrassed. People often told him he was gorgeous and talented. "I've thought about it, and I may even do it one day. But it's such a long shot. I want to get my degree, and after that, I can do whatever I want."

Emily shook her head. "Who would have thought the class stud would be this practical?"

"Repeat it and I'll deny every word!"

"Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. But you don't have to worry about succeeding. You're smart, and I have a feeling you're going to get exactly what you want out of life."

Brian looked uncertain, then winked cockily. "So do I," he drawled, and they laughed.

Brian massaged her neck, still smiling at her. "This has been great Em, but I'd better take you home. I'm having dinner with my family, and I don't want to be late."

But Emily shook her head as she ran a fingernail up his thigh. "You must be kidding. I've wanted you for over two years, and we haven't even begun yet. I'll let you know when it's time." She slipped her legs around his hips, moving against him again.

Brian almost protested, but as he felt her rhythm, his objections died away. Dinner at Maxine's was at eight-thirty, and the clock on the nightstand said six-oh-three. He rolled on top of her and crushed his mouth against hers. What was he thinking? They still had plenty of time.

Twenty minutes later, Brian and Emily showered, dressed, and remade Emily's sister's bed, unconcerned with their scents lingering on the sheets. Brian drove Emily home and kissed her at the door, making no sentiments or promises to keep in touch. They weren't necessary. They wanted different things, and he doubted their paths would cross again. That was all right, because he felt he was on his way to greater things, and she obviously felt the same way.

Brian blasted the car stereo as he headed home. It was a new Pontiac Grand Am, given to him that morning as a graduation gift. It was in his name, he was totally responsible for it, and knowing that made him proud. He paused at the red light, and paused at the warm, sunny evening. It was the perfect weather for a perfect day, the most thrilling one of his life, but it was only the beginning. Akron had been good to him. He'd grown up there, and it held precious memories, but as he drove on, he realized it had little left for him. He was ready to go on. There were only three people he would miss, and they wouldn't be far away. Still, despite his excitement, it would be hard to let them go. But he knew that was what he needed to do. He had to prove he could make it on his own, and show his parents he knew what he was doing.

Brian winced as he remembered leaving them at the ceremony. They had planned an all day family outing, but when Brian told them about Emily, his mother had known his intentions.

"You're damn predictable, Brian," she'd scoffed. "This is your first date with that girl, and you're going off to have sex with her."

Brian hadn't bothered to deny it. "I don't have to report to you," he'd said. "I became a man today, remember?"

"You got your diploma today. You're miles away from being a man."

"That's not fair, Jessica," his father had defended him. "This is his day. He is entitled to spend a few hours with a beautiful girl if he wants."

"Thanks, dad. I knew you'd understand."

He'd looked at him sternly. "Actually, I don't. You knew what we expected today, but you can't resist your own private thrill. I hope she's worth it, but if you miss that reservation at Maxine's, I'll find you and pull you off Emily myself."

"Don't worry. I'll have my fill by then," he'd quipped, giving them his most charming smile.

They'd smiled, in spite of themselves, but the memory grated Brian. They'd acted like he was going to rob a bank, but they'd had the argument before. They didn't approve of his lifestyle. He almost believed his mother kept a log of every girl he had slept with. Brian made no apologies. He wasn't hurting anyone. There were no pregnancies or transmitted diseases, and he had always picked girls who were as casual with sex as he. It was a nice arrangement, and he was sick of his parents trying to make him feel guilty. At least in Columbus, he'd have a little space, and he knew his parents were tired of the subject too. But it was a minor argument. Overall, they knew he was a good kid, and he had done enough to make them proud. He was a born leader, so they didn't have to worry about him.

Tommy was the one they worried about. Tommy was the one they all worried about. Brian turned down the radio as he thought of his brother. He was really the only thing that made it hard for him to leave for college. Brian had tried to prepare Tommy for the move all spring, but just that morning, Brian had looked into his eyes and realized he was still pretending it wasn't happening, like he had always done with things that scared him. And that seemed to be most everything. Their parents took him to psychologists on and off for years, and the prognosis was always old-fashioned shyness. But it was a problem with Tommy, and he suffered like an addict on drugs. He had no friends, talked to no one at school, and barely responded when teachers called him to answer questions. Thanks to that, kids sneered and teased him a lot, calling him a dork and nerd when his grades were the only thing he excelled at. But that wasn't enough, and it left Tommy with no one to turn to. Except for his brother.

Brian sighed wearily, wishing there was more he could do. But he'd been protecting Tommy since he was a toddler. He'd held Tommy when he cried when kids ignored him, cleaned his wounds when one fought with him, and listened when he voiced his fear of never changing. And as much as Brian loved his brother, he was getting tired of it. Tommy was beginning to feel like a clinging vine, and Brian was desperate to break free. And at twelve Tommy was old enough to know that Brian wouldn't be with him forever. But they had one more summer left, and Brian knew he had to make it special. He wouldn't look for a job this year so he could spend as much time with Tommy as possible. He had savings to cover his car insurance, and since it was his only fixed expense he could easily make it. He would take Tommy wherever he wanted, do whatever he wanted to do, and assure him that though he was leaving he would always look out for him. Tommy could call him in Columbus every day if he wanted, and Brian definitely expected it. But he didn't mind if it would help Tommy adjust better. And Brian was convinced that he could do that. Tommy worshipped every word Brian said. If Brian played it right, he could make Tommy believe he could finally function without him. Brian was determined to make that so, for Tommy's sake as well as his own.

But he didn't want to worry about it now. He and his family were celebrating at Maxine's, and he had all summer to plan his future. He glanced at his watch as he found a place in his apartment's parking lot. It was after seven-thirty, plenty of time for the eight-thirty reservation. Brian grabbed his diploma from the glove compartment and swung out the door.

As he headed for the entrance of the red brick building, his heart thumped as he noticed the police car parked where his parents Grand Prix usually did. He rode up the elevator and walked hurriedly to number 206. He slid the key into the lock, and was surprised to find it already unlocked.

When he swung open the door, he couldn't believe what he saw. Two police officers, a man and a woman, stood in the living room hovering over Tommy and a woman who lived down the hall; Cynthia, Brian thought her name was. They were sitting on the couch, and Tommy was cradled in Cynthia's arms. His eyes were wide and he stared ahead as Cynthia rocked him back and forth. A huge bump covered his forehead, a bump that hadn't been there at the ceremony.

Brian froze at the door. He had never been afraid of anything, but now fear held him in a grip that was overpowering. There were only two people who could help him, but they were nowhere in sight. Where the hell were his parents...

Finally, everyone but Tommy became aware of him. The female officer walked toward him, eyeing him with a soft look he couldn't quite place.

"I'm Officer Wilcox," she said, as if that meant anything to him. "Are you Brian Clark?"

"Uh... yes," he mumbled. He swallowed to gain composure. "I'm Brian. What's going on? What's wrong with Tommy?"

"I'm sorry you have to find out like this, Brian. We didn't know where to reach you after your graduation. Your parents and Tommy were involved in an accident. They were driving from the reception when a carload of teens ran into them. Your parents skidded into a telephone pole, and two more cars were involved... I'm sorry, son. Your parents died instantly. We've been watching your brother until you arrived."

Brian looked at her as if she were crazy. The nerve of this bitch. How dare she come in here and scare Tommy, saying something as foolish as their parents were dead. Brian wanted to shake her and tell her she'd made a mistake, that nothing like that could ever happen to them... to his family... to him.

Tommy suddenly came to life, staring in his brother's direction. "Brian!" He bolted from Cynthia and ran toward him, clinging to his waist as he cried hysterically, trying to tell his nightmare.

"Brian, the car... it came right at us... Mommy's head went through the windshield... Daddy got crushed... I screamed and screamed, but they couldn't hear me. Oh Brian, please, please make them hear me... please!"

Tommy's plea muffled in his jacket, Brian bent and locked his arms around him, his diploma falling to the floor. He felt Tommy's tears wet his shirt. He realized now it was all real, but how the hell could he accept it? He had no answers as his cried joined his brother's.

Order the book here.