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The
Spectacular Spec Once you start making contacts (see last month’s column)
and people are finally willing to give you a shot at writing for TV, they are
going to ask you for a spec script, which is a writing sample of your work. For
a spec, you should pick a show that’s on TV right now (and will stay on, with
any luck). You need to write a script that’s better than what you
see on TV. You must overwhelm people who read it. You must blow them out of the
water. You must be so good that if
they turn you down, they will get sick with worry thinking they made the wrong
decision. A good example of this level of writing was a Cheers
spec written by Tom Palmer years ago. His script, “The Shrine,” was about
the Pope (not shown on camera of course) coming to Sam Malone’s bar and using
the toilet. Sam, Diane, and the rest of the characters freak out and treat the
toilet seat like a holy shrine. Because of that spec, Tom landed staff jobs and went on to
become an executive producer on several sitcoms. That script was edgy, funny,
and the characters sounded like just like the show. Those are the same elements
that need to be in your spec. Once you write a spec, your job is not over. You need to
write another (and I’d suggest writing a third). Why? Because even if you deliver one great spec, producers are
going to want to see more to make sure you really have “it” and didn’t
just get lucky the first time. Of course, if you write a spec like the “The
Shrine” maybe you won’t need another spec, but most likely you will. For people who want to work for dramatic shows, pick
respected shows and write specs that include timely, socially relevant topics.
Why? Those episodes almost always
win Emmys. Try to find a topical event to work into your story. For instance, I
recently read an article in Vanity Fair
about how our military uses shells that are coated with depleted uranium. They
cut through enemy tanks like butter, but many of our soldiers breathe in the
particles after an explosion. Our government says that depleted uranium is not a problem
for soldiers, but there are more and more American servicemen and women coming
back from Iraq with kidney damage, unexplained rashes, and very high levels of
uranium in their urine. Some even develop cancer. What if one of these returning vets ended up in the emergency
room on the show E.R. and the docs had
to figure out what was wrong? It’s controversial, it’s timely, and it’s
real. Just don’t be heavy-handed
or preachy; you must entertain the reader. For comedy or drama, I would make the third spec an
original script. There are some shows (HBO’s Down
Under) that want to see if you can create original characters. What if you want to write on a variety show, like Saturday
Night Live? Then you need to
write several short sketches, about 30 pages total.
That’s called a sketch pack. For talk shows like Letterman
and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,
you need monologue jokes. Keep them short and sweet. Also, you need to write
material for the “desk.” For Letterman that would be something like a top
ten list that he would read at his desk. Once you get your specs written, you will need to get an
agent who can send them out to producers. So how do you find an agent? In last month’s column, I suggested that people get jobs
at agencies. (There are job links to these positions at this
web site.) If you try this, be very tactful. Only approach agents with whom
you have built a relationship. And do it casually; do not pressure them. If you know someone who has an agent, ask them if they will
pass your scripts onto their agent to read. If you don’t know anyone who has
an agent, buy a copy of the Hollywood
Creative Directory: Agents and Managers.
I would start with medium size agencies and work my way down to smaller
agencies. If you are shy about cold calling agencies, don’t worry;
the agents are not going to take your call. You will get the assistant. Treat
this underpaid underling like gold. They
are the gatekeepers. They are your contacts. They are your new best friends. Ask
the assistant if the agent is reading new writers; if he or she says “yes,”
then send your scripts over there ASAP. Include a “thank you” note to the
assistant and a note to the agent. The note to the agent should be an introduction of y-o-u
and a brief description of what the script is about. Also, if you’ve gotten
PAID to write anything: articles, PR or advertising, you MUST mention this.
It shows the agent that someone has paid you to write. I am stunned when
writing teachers, writing books and all the so-called experts fail to mention
this. Make sure to make the entire letter lively and entertaining. Do not write
a sterile note; save that sterile tone for when you work at a corporation like
IBM. Now, the assistant may tell you to write a query letter
before you sending a script. That’s
basically a letter introducing yourself and pitching your spec scripts. If
you’re pitching a comedy script, that letter needs to be really funny.
If it’s a drama, tease it with the socially relevant part, but don’t
give away the ending. Again, you
must mention any paid writing gigs (articles, PR, etc…) you have done. It
shows that someone somewhere had enough faith in your writing to pay you; and
agents want money-makers. Whether you query or send a script, always follow up with
calls; be pleasantly persistent even if you’re about to strangle these people. If this all sounds like a lot of work, well, it is.
One quicker (and more expensive way) is to hire an entertainment lawyer
to send your script out to agents and managers that he or she knows. Lawyers
don’t come cheap, but these people have relationships that could take you
years to build. As my grandfather once told me, “Money can always be replaced,
but time can’t.” Next Month: How to Get a Writing Job Without an Agent! Michael Allen has written for several TV shows and pilots on MTV, Nickelodeon, Warner Bros, and Fox. He can be reached at MichaelPAllen2004@Yahoo.com. Please click here for more columns by Michael Allen |
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