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Memos From The Edge: Rantings of a Mad ScreenwriterPart Three - Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!
November 13, 1996 Lastlane Apts, Los Angeles, CA Sent by mail to Sonny Zenwicki from Landyn Parker Dear Sonny, No, I'm not dead but I should be. I hate actors. I hate agents. I hate studios. All producers must be killed before they rewrite again. Pure anarchy. That's what I'm looking forward to. If I had the guts I'd get a really big gun and clean this town up. Instead I'll be hanging out at Starbucks. Sipping espresso. Passing the days of my miserable existence waiting to catch a glimpse of the rich and famous. I'm nothing. No, I'm less than nothing. I'm a screenwriter. No, no, worse than that. I'm a has-been hack of a screenwriter. If my life were a movie, right about now, Arnold Schwartzeneger would burst in and blow my brains across the room but then I probably couldn't even get Arnold to star in my pathetic little b-movie life. Man, I'll be lucky if I can even get Jean Claude Van Damme to kick box my sorry butt off some balcony just so I can splat sadly on the hot asphalt thirty stories down. Yeah that's me all right - a splat on the pavement of life. As you may have guessed by now, that whole deal I told you about before fell through. Creative difference you might say. Denny-Dean hooked up with Dirk Dunsten and now my ferret-faced ex-assistant is writing and co-exec-producing the picture. %$#@*&%$!!!! I even lost my waitering job. But enough about me - how the hell are you? Humbly yours, Landyn Parker, esq.
Copyright © 1999 Larpi Inc. Visit the Mad Screenwriter's website here: http://www.dvshop.ca/dvcafe/madscreen/navigate.htm Read Part One by clicking here, Part Two by clicking here, or Part Three by clicking here.
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