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Writing Out Loud:
How a reading can benefit your screenplay
By Tommy Donbavand
OK, I admit it: I have a slight advantage. Aside from proudly belonging to the ranks of the world's great unproduced screenwriters (crack comedy unit), I'm also an actor. I'm in a show in London, and I work day to day with a company of professional actors. I know they're professional, because many of them tell me so. Frequently.
However, it wasn't until recently that I bit the bullet, and organized a reading for one of my screenplays. The result was both satisfying, and alarming. Scenes which I was convinced were hilarious raised about much laughter as a kitten with a limp; while my most dramatic, heart rending plot points were greeted with howls of manic, coffee snorting laughter.
Still, I swallowed my pride, made notes, and a couple of weeks later emerged with a much stronger rewrite. It still hasn't sold, but I know it's a better quality script that's propping up the wobbly leg of producers' desks.
So, can a reading of your screenplay help you to improve it? Certainly. Is it hard to arrange? No, not really. Here's how.
 | Assemble your cast. |
I'm presuming you don't work in a theatre, or at the very least, a rest home for retired thespians - although if you do, simply provide some light refreshments or a solid defibrillation unit (depending on which category you fall into), and move on to the next section.
If professional actors are hard to come by, then your next stop should be your local amateur dramatic group. Keep an eye on the What's On section of your local newspaper to discover their whereabouts (they tend to surface in church halls and community
centers for short periods of performance, then go to ground without a trace). Contact whoever deals with their public relations, explain that you're a screenwriter, and ask if you can come along to one of their rehearsals to meet the group.
Watch the rehearsal carefully, with your own characters in mind, and see if you can cast the main roles in your screenplay with the actors on stage before you. Over coffee afterwards, you'll have time to meet the group, explain what you hope to achieve, and ask for their help.
You should find anyone interested in acting more than willing to take part - even if only because they're hoping the film will get made, and they'll have the upper hand on Johnny Depp when it comes to casting ("He doesn't understand the motivation of the cyborg captain the way I do. I've played him, darling."). This is the only time that you, as a screenwriter, will feel any sense of power in this business.
One other option is the drama club or theatre class at your local school or college. If you can convince the teacher that your project will be of great educational value to the students, you should be home free (and of course, there's always the chance you'll get the class with Spielberg's niece in).
| Distribute the scripts. |
Once you have your cast, you'll need to provide everyone with a copy of the script (no, they can't look over one another's shoulders). Whether you print them off yourself, or delegate the job to the guys at the local copy shop, ensure that each script is identical: you'll want everyone on the same page at the same time to avoid problems.
If you have plenty of minor characters in your screenplay, consider assigning them all to just one or two of your cast. Not only will this keep your printing costs down, but will also avoid an enthusiastic thespian waiting all afternoon, just to yell "Look out!" as PASSER BY on page 94.
Make sure you deliver the scripts well in advance of the reading. Your actors need plenty of time to get inside your characters' heads.
| Find a space. |
If you have access to the drama group's rehearsal room or classroom, then use that. Try to avoid using a room at someone's home if you can, as the furnishings are likely to deaden the sound. If the reading must take place at home, the kitchen, or even garage, might be a better option acoustically.
A few light refreshments would be welcomed, although be wary of anything confectionery based: your genius dialogue will sound anything but when sprayed through a mouthful of Mr. Kipling's finest.
I found it very useful to record the session on cassette, so that I could listen back later on and make notes. A photographer friend also came along and took shots of my cast in performance (by no means a necessity, but a great reminder of the day).
| Brace yourself. |
The big day finally arrives. Your actors are ready, the cassette player is recording, and a dozen or so highlighted scripts are all turned to page one. Here is something I recommend: read the action and description paragraphs yourself.
Why?
It really slows the reading down.
What's that? Yours won't? Yours is tight, exciting action; atmospheric, character building description?
Trust me. Not when a room full of actors are sitting impatiently, eager to get to their next line, it's not. And there's no better way to realise it than to read it yourself.
If there's one thing you're likely to take away from the reading, it's that your description and action can be cut drastically, and still have the same, if not more, effect.
Here's what I discovered from my own reading:
I was describing things that didn't need describing. I had a scene early on in the script, set in a bank. I'd described the layout, the décor, and the customers - albeit briefly, but it took up a couple of lines. Not necessary. Most people know what the interior of a bank looks like, and if the layout isn't vital to the script, don't mention it. It might only be a line or two, but multiply that by every scene, and you can lose a couple of pages by taking it all out.
My protagonist wasn't active enough. I hadn't realized it before, but a good deal of my protagonist's decisions were being made for him by his sidekick. This only came to light when the guy playing the sidekick was getting all the laughs, and the main character dutifully followed along with his suggestions. Never forget that your protagonist (or antagonist) must drive the story forward.
The actors discovered deep and hidden meanings in gestures and scenes that I had no idea were even there (not that I didn't take full credit for them, of course.)
My third act sucked. As written, the entire climax of the script took place in a rapidly collapsing hotel. My bad guys got their just rewards, and my good guys clinched victory from the jaws of defeat. Except it all sounded incredibly dull. In the rewrite, the scene still takes place in the same crumbling hotel, but I've opened it out around the building, and been more inventive with the ways my bad guys bow out. Much more exciting.
Aside from those major points there were lines that were impossible to say, characters that disappeared for pages on end, and much, much more. But hey, you'll find this all out for yourself.
Arranging a reading will bring out the very worst in your script. In places, you'll be truly horrified at what you hear - and yes, you did write that. However, you will emerge armed with a set of rewrite notes like no other. Follow them, and your script will be several steps closer to the world-beater you always knew it was.
Your next reader will thank you for it.
Tommy Donbavand comes from Liverpool, but doesn't know any of The Beatles. For the past six years, he's played the Clearlake MC in the musical Buddy in London's West End. He's constantly amazed that no-one has figured out how much fun he's having, and put a stop to it.
His first book, Quick Fixes For Bored Kids, will be published in April 2001, and his screenplays continue to attract a dazzling array of rejection letters from around the world.
Tommy's web site, www.wobblebottom.com
(don't ask), is currently under construction, or you can e-mail him at tommyd@ukgateway.net.
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