Please Don't Shoot The Mailman!
By Faith L. Bicknell

Whether we like it or not, rejections are a fact of life. Maybe you didn't get the job you applied for, or possibly your in-laws hated your chocolate gravy tuna casserole, but regardless of the situation, everyone gets rejected at one time or another. Especially writers and poets; ask any of us.

So, you put an entire month into your manuscript. Your spelling is perfect, your manuscript flawless. Every character is gripping, believable, real. The plot is super. Your friends and relatives read your story and begged for more. Now you are elated and confident. And after careful research of the markets and a folder full of guidelines, you choose whom you believe with all your heart is the editor who will gladly purchase your tale.

What if it turns out to be another rejection slip? At the mailbox, you run your fingers along the edges of the manila envelope and whisper a little prayer under your breath before placing it inside and putting the flag up. Maybe you're one of those souls who holds up the line at the post office mail slot while you stand on rubbery legs eyeing the out-of-town chute like it's an endless black hole, terrified that it will take weeks, or even months, to get your coveted response. Meanwhile people are standing behind you tapping their toes. One guy even yells: "Are you going to marry that package or mail it?" So, you take a deep breath and slip it into the black hole.

Now, you wait. And wait. And wait some more.

Sound familiar? Sometimes I feel as though that's the story of my life. I'm certain many others out there are sympathetic.

We all know how the writing life is. Whether you're a babe on milk trying to peddle your first poem, story or novel, or a professional dining on meat with several published works under your belt, we all get rejected. It hurts.

While you are waiting for a response to one story or fifty, keep busy with your writing. I know you've heard that advice hundreds of times, but it's true. Sharpen your skills while keeping your mind off the mailbox. Also, collect ideas for stories and nonfiction by studying the work of others.

A few weeks go by, or possibly you receive a response in one or two weeks. (Yes, you can get an answer that fast!) You roll out of bed one morning in high spirits. You think to yourself, this is the day! You go to the mailbox and there it is! With shaking hands, you open it to find... a form rejection slip with two or three short sentences, beginning with: "We are sorry..."

If you're anything like me, you have one of several reactions: Total silence except when you bite off the head of a loved one, ranting and raving and slamming doors, going outside to kick the mailbox, firing shots at the mailman, total depression and contemplation of suicide, sniffling and wiping your eyes. Although I am loathe to admit it, it's the last one which I am guilty of most often.

After getting such a foul response, never, and I mean NEVER, sit down at your keyboard to write! Writing when you are in a rotten mood only produces garbage. It's a waste of time. I handle my failure in various ways and they nearly always work.

FAMILY: If you're a parent whose writing life revolves around racing your two-year-old to the potty every five minutes, or begging your teenager to stop banging the basketball against the side of the house, go spend some time with them. Pick your baby up and look into those innocent eyes. So what if you didn't get a big, fat check in the mail? Even if that editor decides his magazine doesn't need you, your pain-in-the-butt fifteen-year-old does.

One thing that makes me feel confident is the support of my husband. When he kisses me and tells me there's no doubt in his mind I'll hit it big one day, I'm ready to tackle my word processor for ten hours straight! Anyone with such a spouse is definitely blessed. (In case you're single and/or without a family of your own, call your folks, a close sibling, or a good friend.)

GO SHOPPING: You don't have to spend money, just window shop. When browsing, I discovered that looking at all the oddities one can buy inspires me. Jewelry makes me dream up grand stories of hidden treasures. Clothes stir up images of formal parties with all the guests dressed to the nines. Even looking at something as mundane as a percolator can cause a scene in my head about two friends having a cup of joe while engaged in a macabre conversation about the shocking murder next door. An auto parts section may conjure up a young mechanic too poor to satisfy his materialistic wife. Let your imagination go free.

EAT OUT: Sometimes I leave my kids with my husband and go out for lunch or a light snack, then finish it off by drowning my sorrows in a diet-blasting dessert. I usually return home in better spirits and sit for an hour or so enjoying my husband's company. Later, I'm ready to tackle my latest project.

MOVIES: Go rent a couple good flicks or dig one of your favorites from your video collection. Get involved in someone else's problems. My favorites are horror, sci-fi, and fantasy. Spectacular special effects in an edge of your seat movie can spark the creative juices for me. A good tear-jerker helps me strive to capture the feelings that can cause the reader to bawl, howl with laughter, or be indignant for my characters.

MUNDANE WORK: If all else fails and I feel like giving up and accepting the fact that I'm just a normal mother and I'll never see my name on the best-seller list, I take my frustrations out on the house. I go into a cleaning frenzy. If you hate housework or are one of those fellows who refuse to do it, then mow the lawn, wash the car, find something to vent on. You'll become too tired to be upset any more. The following morning, you'll be back at your desk revising your article or story for the next time you send it out.

Maybe it's a mistake in the story structure that I missed. It could be that it didn't appeal to that editor but another might find it fantastic. You might even catch an editor on a lousy day. It happens. Just this afternoon, I received a rejection for a short story because someone else had the idea first. Whatever the reason, rejection slips are a way of life in this profession, and we all have to learn to deal with it. Remember to never give up and always strive to hone your talent. Failures should be used to strengthen your skill and willpower, not dissolve them. Eventually, you will win.

Copyright © 2000 Faith L. Bicknell.  All rights reserved.

Residing in the Appalachians, I’m single, raising four children alone. The daughter of an ex-minister/coal miner, I am a self-taught writer; my work has appeared in a wide range of publications, including one in Canada, and I am a regular contributor to a national men’s magazine. I am the fantasy and romance editor of Wild Child Publishing. Currently, I am working on my fifth and sixth novels. In my spare time, I attend Wheeling Jesuit University, majoring in English lit & pursuing a minor in history.

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