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Day Seven: Turn words into actions

This article is an excerpt from Cornerstone Creative Communications' series, "Write Better, Right Now."

CRASH COURSE: Try to use words that lead to action, and avoid words that put your audience off. Be positive and diplomatic, but not excessively so. Remember that cognitive dissonance will cause readers to reject messages they dislike.

Unless you’re a novelist, you are not writing to be pretty. You are writing to get things done.

Sometimes, you need to use tact. Sometimes, you need to use gentle persuasion. And sometimes you need to sound menacing. As we discussed on Day Four and Day Six, your structure and your tone will vary with the message you want to send. But you also have to pick words that inspire action from your readers, or that persuade them to agree with you.

TIP: Come right out and ask

Many written communications fail simply because they never come right out and ask for action. A fundraising letter should brazenly ask for money. And soon. Many readers only read the beginnings and ends of documents, so come out swinging. Better yet, ask for a specific amount, by a specific date. (And remember that, for many readers, "as soon as possible" means "when hell freezes over.")

Try a little psychology

Before we move on to specific techniques, let’s step back and look at the science of persuasion.

While there are limits to what psychology can do, knowing how readers form and change opinions can help writers make the most out of their words.

First, remember the difference between attitudes and opinions. Opinions change. I may be in favour of Candidate X’s tax policies one day, but opposed the next when I have more facts. Attitudes are deeper. I may be predisposed to a candidate who will lower taxes, so long as that policy doesn’t hurt the poor. That’s an attitude.

Attitudes are much harder to change, because they are based on a mixture of emotion (I want to pay less, but don’t want people to suffer), perception (government wastes my money), culture (people of my nationality, age, class and sex don’t like taxes) and experience (when taxes went up, my quality of life went down).

It is extremely hard to change attitudes and opinions, thanks to cognitive dissonance. This means that if I believe one thing to be true (taxes are too high), then I will resist or ignore facts to the contrary (taxes are so low that social services are suffering).

On the other hand, people actively seek information that supports their existing attitudes and opinions. (Right-wingers are more likely to read Alberta Report, for example, than This Magazine.) This isn’t a bad thing. You will often want to write to reinforce an existing attitude, or to motivate action based on that attitude.

Hard as it is to change attitudes, they can be changed by dramatic events. Although the Tet Offensive didn’t accomplish very much militarily for Vietnamese Communists, it did shatter American belief that the Vietnam War could be won, and turned public opinion against the war. Events will also encourage a motivated person to keep acting. While these events may be beyond your control, you should certainly be sensitive to them.

You can now see why most persuasive attempts fail. Many writers try to replace one way of thinking with another, instead of shifting people’s thoughts slightly. Instead of convincing me that taxes are too low, try suggesting that important social needs are not being well funded. While the two ideas may be contradictory, they can co-exist and form the basis for further persuasion.

However, it is not enough to simply change an attitude. You may convince me that human rights violations in Indonesia are a serious problem. But I may not care enough to do anything. Most Americans knew about Bill Clinton’s questionable ethics, but they re-elected him anyway. Here are some ways to generate action.

	Use the reader-centered attitude (see Day Two) to make issues personally relevant to readers.
	Indicate what the action is! Direct mail letters ask for a specific amount of money by a specific date. Make it as easy as possible to carry out this action.
	Pick one concise message and repeat it often. You see some ads all the time. Repeating ads not only overcomes a viewer’s tendency to ignore the ads, but slowly nibbles at resistance. "Gee, maybe I will try that Arch Deluxe burger. It’s for adults, after all." The best messages pack a lot of punch in very little space.
	Influence opinion leaders. I may not care much about Indonesia, but if my priest does, or if the mayor of my city does, then I may as well. This is why advertisers use celebrities to endorse products, and why marketers solicit testimonials from clients. They are borrowing credibility to build trust.
	Use peer pressure. Show how people just like the reader are doing something. Conformity is a powerful motivator. But remember that some people aspire to different peers. Many working-class Britons vote for the Conservatives because they want to emulate traditional, wealthy Tory supporters.
	Think in terms of symbols and words. In the 1996 American election, Bill Clinton rarely referred to Bob Dole’s policies, but to his "schemes." And he billed himself as a "bridge to the 21st century." He used symbols and words that appealed to people’s hopes and fears. But remember that your audience must view these symbols the same way you do.
	Show, don’t tell. Emotion counts, but facts give you credibility. Unless you are using a verbal medium (such as a speech or a media interview), use numbers, dates and specifics whenever you can. And don’t just say, "We’re the best corner store in town." Show why you’re the best store in town. What makes you better?

Pick words that appeal

There are also specific words that work better than others. Jay Conrad Levinson’s Guerrilla Marketing Excellence lists three dozen "magic" words that win over readers. The top 12 are free, new, you, sale, introducing, save, money, discover, results, easy, proven and guaranteed.

There are also trigger words that you should avoid: fail, impossible, poor, can’t, incompetent, criticize, reject, unable, won’t, unsatisfactory and ignorant. Remember, though, that the problem with a trigger word isn’t the word itself, but the sense in which it is used, that can put the reader off. For example:

	If you fail to submit your report on time, we will miss our deadline.
	Because of your poor credit history, we must reject your credit application.

These could easily be rewritten:

	Please submit your report on time so we can meet our deadline.
	When your credit rating improves, we will be pleased to reconsider your credit application.

Don’t sound doubtful, project confidence

If you sound like you’re not sure of your message, your reader will pick up on your hesitation. That will weaken your message and make you sound uncertain.

Consider these sentences.

	If you are interested in my proposal, please call me to discuss it.
	We hope you will enjoy your visit to Café Marseilles.

Words like if and hope indicate that you’re not sure how the reader will feel. This creates doubt in the reader’s own mind. However, if you reword the sentence to eliminate the doubtful tone, you strengthen your message and sound more confident.

The above sentences could easily be rewritten.

	Please call me to discuss the proposal. (You assume the reader will want to discuss it; the reader will assume that too.)
	Enjoy your visit to Café Marseilles. (There is no element of doubt.)

Notice how these sentences use the imperative form of the verb? If it weren’t for the word please, they would almost sound like orders. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially if you are being polite, or if you are "ordering" somebody to do something pleasant (like enjoying their visit).

Canadians and women, especially, tend to be self-effacing. But being self-effacing doesn’t get things done. Look at these sentences.

	This program aims to help farmers double production.
	My department is responsible for ensuring quality.

There’s nothing wrong with the grammar, but look at the message. Does it sound as though the program really does help farmers, or that the department really does ensure quality? Be confident, or don’t say it at all.

	This program will help farmers double production.
	My department ensures quality.

Phrase thoughts positively

It is always easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar. Consider the following sentences.

	Our office closes at 6 p.m.
	We cannot fulfill your request on Friday.
	The new supervisor dislikes morning meetings.

They could be worded more positively.

	Our office is open until 6 p.m.
	We can fulfill your request on Monday.
	The new supervisor prefers afternoon meetings.

Now we’re putting readers in a positive frame of mind, which we hope will lead to a positive response. Instead of being angry about Friday’s unprocessed request, the reader should be pleased to hear that the request will be fulfilled on Monday.

Let’s go back to the example about the office hours. By adding information, you can make the sentence even more positive: "Our office is open until 6:00 p.m. for the convenience of our clients."

Now try to make the reader-centered attitude even more prominent: "Our office is open until 6:00 p.m. for your convenience."

That’s the power of positive thinking. Not only is positive writing more effective, it is also easier to read. According to Communications Briefings, each negative takes your readers an extra third of a second to process. They have to take their existing understanding of your sentence and flip it backwards.

And make a particular point of avoiding double negatives (such as I didn’t say I wouldn’t). Double negatives double the difficulty.

But don’t be too positive

Sometimes, we become so "positive" that we’re practically Orwellian. Being positive doesn’t mean you should never admit problems. Phrases like "We were not successful" are just as "negative" as "We have failed," but less clear. Calling your problems "challenges" only suggests that you don’t take your situation seriously. After all, it is always better to solve problems than it is to meet challenges.

Being positive doesn’t mean you should sugar-coat problems: it means you should focus on solutions.

Sometimes, it is hard to think positively when problems remain unsolved. It is easy to be positive when you are asking people for their business, but how do you stay positive when those people don’t pay their bills? You want to be diplomatic, but you’re not willing to bend, either. Sometimes a frank appraisal of matters will work better. Compare these two sentences.

	The bill remains unpaid and your order may be cancelled.
	If you don’t pay your bill by Friday, we’ll cancel your order.

The first sentence is too diplomatic. The writer hasn’t assigned any blame or made any demands. The writer probably won’t get paid, either. In this case, the writer has to balance the importance of the client with the importance of being paid. Is it impossible to be nice and to pass on bad news? Perhaps this approach might work best.

Your bill has not yet been paid. I know that you are very busy these days, but company policy requires us to cancel unpaid orders. If you can find a spare minute, please pay your bill by Friday.

This merges six of the best techniques of diplomatic writing.

1. It uses the passive voice to defray blame (it doesn’t come right out and say that you personally have not paid your bill, merely that the unnamed forces responsible for payment are behind -- see tomorrow’s lesson for more about the passive voice).

2. It gives the recipient the benefit of the doubt (maybe, in these busy times, the bill was forgotten).

3. It makes the bad guy out to be something immutable and abstract (company policy).

4. It uses the imperative tense (pay your bill).

5. It is polite (please pay your bill).

6. It asks for a specific action by a specific time (please pay your bill by next Friday).

Put it to work:

Write a short e-mail message to handle each of the following situations. Feel free to make up more details.

	An employee is persistently late. This means that she misses calls from clients and meetings with employees. Projects are backed up as a result. You’d like to fire this person, but you’re not going to do so yet. Instead, you want to ask her to be punctual.
	The accounting department has yet to provide the numbers you need for the annual report. Time is running out, and if you don’t have the data in two days, you won’t get the material to the printer in time for the reports to reach the annual meeting. You need the accountants to provide the numbers as soon as possible.
	For the third time, you have to cancel a meeting with Jane in legal. Jane wants to sell you Amway products, and the last thing you want to do is tell her no -- again. As it happens, you need to spend the afternoon working to a deadline.

Quotable quote

"Writing is no trouble: you just jot down the ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself --it is the occurring which is difficult."

-- Stephen Leacock

Visit Cornerstone's website here or click here for their section Write Better, Right Now.

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