Favorite lines you've written

[angeliz2k]

Anything with a character named Achoo is a winner in my book.

<Robin Hood: Men in Tights> "Bless you." </Robin Hood Men in Tights>

*Runs away and hides because the name probably isn't a joke. Sorry.*

 

[Funaek]

<Robin Hood: Men in Tights> "Bless you." </Robin Hood Men in Tights>

*Runs away and hides because the name probably isn't a joke. Sorry.*

Haha you're safe! Achoo is the name of her sneezy dog.

 

[Ookiewookie]

One of my favs:

He eats with the civility of a lion on a wildebeest carcass.

 

[Reziac]

I didn't realize quite how long that was until I posted. Sorry! I'll do better in the future.

Long?? I wasn't done reading yet!!

 

[phantasy]

Omg, loving this page.

 

[PandaMan]

One of my favs:

He eats with the civility of a lion on a wildebeest carcass.

Nice! I like this one.

 

[PandaMan]

Sorry! I'll do better in the future.

Yes, you can do better by making it even longer. Please, pretty please, with magic on top?

Another nice one. I can recognize your style without knowing who wrote it.

 

[meowzbark]

This scene is hell to write, but I do like this line:

When he touched her again, his hands were snakes, slithering up and down her body, suffocating her with the guilt of compliance.

Extended version:

He released his grip. “You know I love you.”

“I know,” she whispered, rubbing at the red impressions on her wrists. Love shouldn’t hurt like this. When he touched her again, his hands were snakes, slithering up and down her body, suffocating her with the guilt of compliance.

 

[falconxhummingbird]

OOHHH. ME ME ME ME!

Uh-oh. This on is pretty long. Still my favorite, though.

The most gentle people often had the darkest of minds; burning themselves up to warm others, and then they would be nothing but a pile of ashes, left to disintegrate away into nothing. But as the world went on, and times changed, they would see that they must keep fire for themselves. They would see the wickedness of these creatures with an innate knowledge of destruction. Soon they would understand that the monsters under their beds, devils in their closets, and demons in their minds had no competition on the things that walked on two legs, saw with two eyes, heard with two ears, destroyed with two hands, and lied with one tongue. Humans were indeed the worst monsters of them all.

and also:

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Darkness was her path, and there was no escape route.

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[kkbe]

I love this thread. Where else are you privy to so many different styles, different ways of telling stories; each one, like a little shell on a beach, just waiting to be held for a moment, turned this way or that to catch the sun, or to catch you unaware--cut you to the quick so fast you never saw it coming. . .

 

[Reziac]

Working through Draft Three. Snippet of a scene I hated but have edited into something I sorta like.

<pokes Dreity with a sharp stick until she agrees that this scene was pretty durn funny>

 

[infinitefrank]

It was not meant to be this way. Human beings were not meant to stoop so low...

I liked it

 

[guttersquid]

I love this thread. Where else are you privy to so many different styles, different ways of telling stories; each one, like a little shell on a beach, just waiting to be held for a moment, turned this way or that to catch the sun, or to catch you unaware--cut you to the quick so fast you never saw it coming. . .

You should put that in a story. That's good writing.

 

[Funaek]

I love this thread. Where else are you privy to so many different styles, different ways of telling stories; each one, like a little shell on a beach, just waiting to be held for a moment, turned this way or that to catch the sun, or to catch you unaware--cut you to the quick so fast you never saw it coming. . .

Perfectly put! Completely agree!

 

[guttersquid]

This is from my new story. It's a rough draft, so please excuse the imperfections.

Dennis Pace came out of the house and stood on the porch as an older model sedan approached just fast enough up the long dirt driveway to stir up dust clouds. Over six feet and about two-fifty, twenty-nine-year-old Dennis looked as if he could pull tree stumps out of the ground with his bare hands. He left the porch when the sedan stopped in front of the old barn.

Tony climbed out from behind the steering wheel, his black suit wrinkled. He closed the car door, arched his back, and squinted up at the sun.

When Dennis reached the sedan, Tony said over the roof, “You Dennis?”

“Yeah,” Dennis said, peering through the car windows. “Where’s the girl?”

Tony came around the front of the sedan, waving the dust away from his face. “She’s in the trunk. Get her out and bring her inside.” He tossed the car keys to Dennis and walked past him toward the house.

“You drove all this way with her in the trunk?”

Tony stopped on the porch. “What was I supposed to do, strap her across the hood? Just get her out of there. She’s stinking up the whole car.”

Dennis hurried to the rear of the sedan, unlocked and opened the trunk, and recoiled from a blast of heat and stench.

 

[kkbe]

You should put that in a story. That's good writing.

Perfectly put! Completely agree!

Thx, you guys.

. . .
“Where’s the girl?”

Tony came around the front of the sedan, waving the dust away from his face. “She’s in the trunk. Get her out and bring her inside.” He tossed the car keys to Dennis and walked past him toward the house.

“You drove all this way with her in the trunk?”

Tony stopped on the porch. “What was I supposed to do, strap her across the hood? Just get her out of there. She’s stinking up the whole car.”

Like I said, never saw it coming.

 

[Reziac]

This is from my new story. It's a rough draft, so please excuse the imperfections.

"...across the hood?" and I'm thinkin', "Like a shot deer..." and then we get to the trunk.

 

[BethS]

This is from my new story. It's a rough draft, so please excuse the imperfections.

Oh dear. I was hoping she wasn't dead...

Good as always. Sucked me right in.

 

[Ravioli]

I'm not gonna whine about this, nothing comes out of crying, I'll just hammer a few boards into the tree and if Yucky doesn't like it, I'll hammer him to the tree, too.

 

[Reziac]

I'm not gonna whine about this, nothing comes out of crying, I'll just hammer a few boards into the tree and if Yucky doesn't like it, I'll hammer him to the tree, too.

 

[kkbe]

^^^ Yep.

Okay, posted part of this on another thread. *MATURE* (yeah yeah, we know )

I’d like to say my reaction came straight out of the Chili Palmer playbook, but it was a little more emotional than that. I not-so-coolly took note of my unexpected adversary: hair (too fucking long), eyes (nothing like his mother’s), cheeks (flushed pink for chrissake), nose (fucked up at the bridge), lips (slightly parted as if ready for cock), chin (thrust forward in righteous defiance)—

I stopped taking mental notes. Stopped thinking. I leaned over and grabbed that defiant chin, fisted a hunk of that hair, yanked that beautiful face to me and kissed that cocksucking mouth, kissed the shit out of that cocksucking mouth.

It was a brutal kiss, devastatingly brutal.

He didn’t fight it.

I broke it off. Still gripping his chin, I shoved hard and let go. His head smacked the window.

Steve blinked, sought my gaze and held it, eyes shining.

“You like that?” I said.

He licked his swollen lips. Bruised, probably. I wasn’t done hurting him. “You wanted it so don’t start that crying shit,” I said. “I’ve had it with that crying shit.”

“I won’t. You didn’t answer my question.”

“When did you grow a pair, huh?”

“What do you mean?” Steve said.

“I mean, I’m not answering your stupid fucking question.”

 

[Reziac]

^^^ Yep.

Okay, posted part of this on another thread. *MATURE* (yeah yeah, we know )

Akki is drooling over my shoulder.

 

[Katharine Tree]

I'm not gonna whine about this, nothing comes out of crying, I'll just hammer a few boards into the tree and if Yucky doesn't like it, I'll hammer him to the tree, too.

Love this.

 

[Katharine Tree]

Okay, posted part of this on another thread. *MATURE* (yeah yeah, we know )

Love it. It'd be a cruel disappointment to get a snippet from you that wasn't for mature audiences.

 

[Ravioli]

^^^ Yep.

Okay, posted part of this on another thread. *MATURE* (yeah yeah, we know )

Oh, but I love this. Maybe it's because I'm into handle-without-care and all this angry sexiness, but it's also really well written. A credible thought process that reminds me of.. oh myyy