Limericks Still Live!

[Matera the Mad]

But hey, life is short, let's get happy
So hop in the pool wearing nappy
There's nothing to fear,
ignore what you hear,
Nay-sayers think everything's crappy.

They danced in the moonlight like faeries

 

[CDSinex]

They danced in the moonlight like faeries,
their bodies were naked and hairy.

 

[Matera the Mad]

They danced in the moonlight like faeries,
their bodies were naked and hairy.
Such primeval joy

 

[CDSinex]

They danced in the moonlight like faeries,
their bodies were naked and hairy.
Such primeval joy,
was only a ploy,

 

[Matera the Mad]

They danced in the moonlight like faeries,
their bodies were naked and hairy.
Such primeval joy,
was only a ploy,
Their true goal was stealing my berries!

Like a blight in my raspberry patch

 

[CDSinex]

Like a blight in my raspberry patch,
or an itch you can't quite reach to scratch

 

[Tazlima]

Like a blight in my raspberry patch,
or an itch you can't quite reach to scratch,
my beautiful prose

 

[jaus tail]

Like a blight in my raspberry patch,
or an itch you can't quite reach to scratch,
my beautiful prose
is a wind that blows

 

[Matera the Mad]

Like a blight in my raspberry patch,
or an itch you can't quite reach to scratch,
my beautiful prose
is a wind that blows
off your metaphorical escape hatch.

So what if the meter's a mile off

 

[iLion]

So what if the meter's a mile off
And the rhyme doesn't quite make the grade?

 

[jaus tail]

So what if the meter's a mile off
My English teacher is busy with cough


And the rhyme doesn't quite make the grade
As Lord of English, I feel betrayed

 

[CDSinex]

So what if the meter's a mile off.
My English teacher is busy with cough.
And the rhyme doesn't quite make the grade,
as Lord of English, I feel betrayed.
So let's take a moment to scoff.

He asked her to sharpen his saw.

 

[jaus tail]

He asked her to sharpen his saw.
Instead he took off her bra

 

[Matera the Mad]

He asked her to sharpen his saw.
Instead he took off her bra
Saying "I;m not so dull

 

[CDSinex]

He asked her to sharpen his saw.
Instead he took off her bra
Saying "I'm not so dull,
but I have a thick scull,

 

[jaus tail]

He asked her to sharpen his saw.
Instead he took off her bra
Saying "I'm not so dull,
but I have a thick scull,
that he collided with her jaw.

At midnight, she called me to her house

 

[iLion]

At midnight, she called me to her house
And asked that I please kill the mouse

 

[CDSinex]

At midnight, she called me to her house
And asked that I please kill the mouse.
She gave me a gun,

 

[jaus tail]

At midnight, she called me to her house
And asked that I please kill the mouse.
She gave me a gun,
But her mouse made me run,

 

[Matera the Mad]

At midnight, she called me to her house
And asked that I please kill the mouse.
She gave me a gun,
But her mouse made me run,
So she screamed and she called me a louse.

Whenever my friend Betty calls me

 

[CDSinex]

Whenever my friend Betty calls me
she asks if I'll come over for "tea."

 

[Matera the Mad]

Whenever my friend Betty calls me
she asks if I'll come over for "tea."
Of course I say yes

 

[CDSinex]

Whenever my friend Betty calls me
she asks if I'll come over for "tea."
Of course I say yes
have you seen her black dress?

 

[Matera the Mad]

Whenever my friend Betty calls me
she asks if I'll come over for "tea."
Of course I say yes
have you seen her black dress?
There's no guesswork, it's all -- hee hee hEEEEE


For a penny, I'd quit this damn job now

 

[jaus tail]

For a penny, I'd quit this job now
Win a lottery but don't ask how