Oscar Wilde said it well!

[Fi Webster]

"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. And unselfishness is letting other people's lives alone, not interfering with them. Selfishness always aims at creating around it an absolute uniformity of type. Unselfishness recognizes infinite variety of type as a delightful thing, accepts it, acquiesces in it, enjoys it. It is not selfish to think for oneself. A man who does not think for himself does not think at all. It is grossly selfish to require of one's neighbor that he should think in the same way, and hold the same opinions. Why should he?"

— Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man Under Socialism

 

[Jazz Club]

Well said as usual by Oscar Wilde. I think that kind of selfishness – trying to foist your opinions or way of life on others – usually comes from insecurity and fear. It always reminds me of the juge d'instruction in L'Etranger who said to Meursault 'do you want my life to have no meaning?' and Meursault was like 'not my problem'. The juge was so threatened by Meursault's rejection of the usual social mores that he actually felt that it was undermining his entire life. But why should it? He should've had enough confidence in his values not to feel like they were being undermined by one man's refusal to conform.

Thinking about it, Oscar Wilde's words could also be applied to those people who think it's 'selfish' not to have children. I've never really followed that logic.

 

[Helix]

If anyone wants to read the whole thing, the essay is here: https://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/wilde-oscar/soul-man/

There are three kinds of despots. There is the despot who tyrannises over the body. There is the despot who tyrannises over the soul. There is the despot who tyrannises over the soul and body alike. The first is called the Prince. The second is called the Pope. The third is called the People.

 

[Fi Webster]

Thinking about it, Oscar Wilde's words could also be applied to those people who think it's 'selfish' not to have children. I've never really followed that logic.

I once witnessed a huge Twitter storm on this topic. It happened on Mother's Day. People were doing the normal thing of celebrating being mothers or celebrating the mothers of their children &/or celebrating their own mothers. Then some started tweeting (inappropriately, I thought) about how great it was to be childfree, how wrong it was to have children, and so on.

Did they have to do that on Mother's Day? =sigh= There is an International Childfree Day: it was yesterday in fact, August 1st. My husband and I are childfree by choice, so I know about it.

Anyway, the storm ensued when the question arose of whether it was selfish to have children or selfish not to have them. Obviously neither camp was entirely right or entirely wrong. Stupid argument...

 

[SWest]

...The storm ensued...

I'm pretty sure this is what Twitter is for...

 

[Fi Webster]

I'm pretty sure this is what Twitter is for...

That's why I quit Twitter. Never-ending outrage = not my thing.

 

[ConnorMuldowney]

If anyone wants to read the whole thing, the essay is here: https://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/wilde-oscar/soul-man/

Wow this is incredible stuff. I've wanted to articulate for awhile why I believe individualism is not selfish but rather the opposite, but of course he puts it perfectly.