I tended to be over-dramatic about it at the time but I honestly don't remember being outwardly bullied all that much. Quietly ostracised, yes. But that was half their fault, half me just being an anti-social loner back then.
I think the fact that I had a massive crush I still didn't even fully understand on one of the jerks at the time just made most of the stuff that could genuinely be called bullying seem that much worse.
But that was always like me. Making everything worse for myself somehow seems to be a speciality of mine.
I was very very badly bullied, from the time I was six years old until was about fifteen or sixteen. Physical, emotional, name calling, things thrown at me. They had lots of reasons to target me: I was ugly, I was too tall, I wore homemade clothes, I was a teacher's brat, I was too smart, I talked differently than they did. I was just too different.
It was bad. Really bad. I had dirt and gum and dog shit rubbed in my hair. I had my glasses broken on my face (and I don't mean the frames; I mean this guy hit me so hard the glass -- and it was glass, not polymer, and a quarter of an inch thick -- actually shattered in the frames). I've been spit on and called names that I don't even want to think about. They tried to pull elaborate practical "jokes" on me; luckily, I didn't usually fall for them.
By the time I hit high school, I was so angry all the time.... I can't explain how angry I was. But that's mostly what stopped the bullying: I made it very clear that I wasn't afraid to destroy anybody who crossed me. I stabbed one boy with a bit of broken wood when he tried to get physical with me (this is the same boy who broke my glasses, only three years later). I hit a boy and broke his nose. I developed a hellaciously sharp tongue, and would go for the jugular with my words; I could destroy your reputation in a day's time, and I wasn't a bit afraid to do it. And I never got in trouble for it because I had a good reputation and I was a teacher's brat.
I only had to deal with the dean of girls twice. Once when I stood up in class and told my science teacher to go to hell (that was a long story). The other time, I got in a fight with another girl; my mom was actually the one who sent me to the office, and even then, the dean of girls took my side, because I was a Clarkson.
I sometimes look back at the girl I was the day before I started my first day at school and how different I am now. I sometimes wonder what sort of person I would have turned out to be, if all the bullying -- and my own reactions to the bullying -- hadn't warped my personality so much.
Remember me saying a while back that loving my neighbor was all the Christian duty I could handle, that it was too much work to do more? That's why. I live in the same community where I grew up, and I interact with those same people who used to bully me. And I have to figure out a way to love them. Not so easy.
Ostracized is good. Be glad all they did was ostracize you. It could have been soooo much worse.
. Like pumpkin flavoured sweet anything, or sweet potatoe chips. And that creamer stuff you guys use for coffee
