The thread in which Haggis now talks to himself

[BigWords]

T K

Um, W V

V D

Damn I love candy-stripped stockings and high-heeled boots. Kelly, how'd you know?

So... where would you wear that outfit, Ted?

 

[TedTheewen]

So... where would you wear that outfit, Ted?

Wrong question. Where would I find it in my size? But I would totally rock those boots!

 

[robeiae]

Ya, Chinese Downhill...it is the only vay.

 

[parumpdragon]

morning

 

[TedTheewen]

Hi guys!

Christmas is such a sexy time of year, isn't it?

 

[PorterStarrByrd]

How much does a mall Santa Claus make Ted?

 

[BigWords]

Christmas is such a sexy time of year, isn't it?

You've started celebrating already, haven't you?

Speaking of which... When do we start celebrating the birth of Santa? Do we have to wait until the 25th? I have a bottle of scotch ready.

 

[TedTheewen]

I want to go moose hunting now. Porter, could you take me moose hunting?

 

[TedTheewen]

How much does a mall Santa Claus make Ted?

I was never a mall Santa. I was the kid who took pictures of the screaming brats on his lap. I had to sign all kinds of legal paperwork saying I wouldn't do this or that. I thought it was a joke until I saw just how many sloppy drunk secretaries showed up at night to sit on the old guy's lap.

 

[Haggis]

I was never a mall Santa. I was the kid who took pictures of the screaming brats on his lap. I had to sign all kinds of legal paperwork saying I wouldn't do this or that. I thought it was a joke until I saw just how many sloppy drunk secretaries showed up at night to sit on the old guy's lap.

Cella always did fall for a guy in a uniform.

 

[robeiae]

"Falling down drunk" in front of a police officer is not the same thing, Haggis.

 

[Haggis]

But she called him "Santa."

 

[TedTheewen]

One woman was on his lap and while kissing him, lifted her skirt to reveal the absence of certain garments. Before I could snap the picture, some security goofballs (REACT if you know who they are) freaked out and escorted her away. I still hate those guys. She was hot.

 

[PorterStarrByrd]

I want to go moose hunting now. Porter, could you take me moose hunting?

Certainly. We are however slightly into the moose killing dead period (no pun intended, of cousre) which lasts until next november. During that time moose killing is frowned upon.

 

[PorterStarrByrd]

One woman was on his lap and while kissing him, lifted her skirt to reveal the absence of certain garments. Before I could snap the picture, some security goofballs (REACT if you know who they are) freaked out and escorted her away. I still hate those guys. She was hot.

With today's technology it could have gone viral on you tube.

 

[TedTheewen]

With today's technology it could have gone viral on you tube.

This was over 20 years ago. I was just 19 years old. And let me tell you, it made an impression on me. The old guy in the chair had no idea.

 

[PorterStarrByrd]

oh yeah ...

That's disgusting

 

[Haggis]

because

 

[TedTheewen]

oh yeah ...

That's disgusting

Not when you're 19. I was pretty happy. Shocked at first, but happy.

 

[PorterStarrByrd]

because

 

[Cella]

"Falling down drunk" in front of a police officer is not the same thing, Haggis.

Hey, I was perfectly comfortable there in the ditch before he rescued me...

 

[Silent Rob]

It's not called a ditch when it's in a bowling alley, yanno.

Strike out!

 

[TedTheewen]

I wish we had moose here in Wisconsin. They look like so much fun to run in terror from as they trot angrily through cloned suburban neighborhoods. You never see a moose rampage through a trailer park--always a subdivision where everything looks alike.

 

[Haggis]

*sets up thread tree*

 

[regdog]

Oh, good grief.