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Tips for building confidence as a new writer?

pratfalleffect

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Hi Friends! I am new to AW and new to the writing world so I am trying to do as much as I can to learn about the process. It's been so cool to see people share about their experiences with writing and seeing the questions people bring to this forum. I've found it to be so helpful. I keep catching myself doubting myself and thinking I'm silly for trying to write a novel when I have absolutely zero experience in this field. I'm a social worker, working on a mental health unit in a prison for my career but I have always loved reading and writing for fun. I am obsessed with storytelling which is probably why I was drawn to a career field where I get to hear people's life stories on a day-to-day basis. Does anyone have any advice for someone just starting out with pursuing writing seriously? Appreciated in advance!
 

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Does anyone have any advice for someone just starting out with pursuing writing seriously?

Like any skill, writing requires time and practice. Nobody starts out being brilliant at it. Don't tell yourself you're "silly" if what you're writing isn't yet where you want it to be - remind yourself you're in training, and it's going to take time.

And don't compare yourself to anyone else! Everyone's writer brain trains differently, and at a different rate. Your job, as a writer, isn't to beat the writer next door - it's too hone your own craft so you can produce what your imagination is asking you to produce. What seems slow to you is going to seem terribly fast to someone else. Your pace is your own.

Patience and perseverence.
 

alexp336

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Welcome! My advice is probably going to seem really obvious, but the best way to feel more confident about writing... is to write more šŸ˜

More specifically, try not to go into it with sky-high expectations of yourself. You wouldn't jump into a sports car and expect to set lap records on a track on day one (or even day one-hundred). You would, however, hopefully have fun as you explore what feels right. The same goes for writing: you get to experiment, including giving yourself permission to try things that may or may not work.

There's no "correct" way to write. And, honestly, one of the things people often fear is not having enough inspiration when it comes to figuring out what to write about - that doesn't sound like something you'll be lacking in, given your career! Have fun, and good luck!

ETA @lizmonster got there before me with a similar (but better phrased, ha) sentiment. Not comparing yourself is tough, but it's important: there's a big difference between admiring and being influenced by another writer, and feeling like you have to match their abilities and output.
 

pratfalleffect

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Like any skill, writing requires time and practice. Nobody starts out being brilliant at it. Don't tell yourself you're "silly" if what you're writing isn't yet where you want it to be - remind yourself you're in training, and it's going to take time.

And don't compare yourself to anyone else! Everyone's writer brain trains differently, and at a different rate. Your job, as a writer, isn't to beat the writer next door - it's too hone your own craft so you can produce what your imagination is asking you to produce. What seems slow to you is going to seem terribly fast to someone else. Your pace is your own.

Patience and perseverence.
This is really wonderful advice. I definitely have a habit of discounting myself before I really put the effort in. Thank you for replying and for the encouragement for patience. I will take it to heart!
 

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This is really wonderful advice. I definitely have a habit of discounting myself before I really put the effort in. Thank you for replying and for the encouragement for patience. I will take it to heart!
A lot of writers live with self-doubt. You're not alone there, either.

You've found a good place here.
 

pratfalleffect

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Welcome! My advice is probably going to seem really obvious, but the best way to feel more confident about writing... is to write more šŸ˜

More specifically, try not to go into it with sky-high expectations of yourself. You wouldn't jump into a sports car and expect to set lap records on a track on day one (or even day one-hundred). You would, however, hopefully have fun as you explore what feels right. The same goes for writing: you get to experiment, including giving yourself permission to try things that may or may not work.

There's no "correct" way to write. And, honestly, one of the things people often fear is not having enough inspiration when it comes to figuring out what to write about - that doesn't sound like something you'll be lacking in, given your career! Have fun, and good luck!

ETA @lizmonster got there before me with a similar (but better phrased, ha) sentiment. Not comparing yourself is tough, but it's important: there's a big difference between admiring and being influenced by another writer, and feeling like you have to match their abilities and output.
Thank you for this, both of you said it in really helpful ways and I appreciate your input a lot. I love the analogy and it really helps me to put things in perspective. I am going to try to challenge myself to write a little bit each day, even if it's not something that "sticks" for my current project! Appreciate you!
 

alexp336

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Thank you for this, both of you said it in really helpful ways and I appreciate your input a lot. I love the analogy and it really helps me to put things in perspective. I am going to try to challenge myself to write a little bit each day, even if it's not something that "sticks" for my current project! Appreciate you!

Consistency is, I think, a much more useful skill than we necessarily give it credit for, compared to things like inspiration or talent with prose. Even saying "I'm going to write three lines a day" and sticking to it is worthy and impressive: the brain is like a muscle that way. You got this!
 
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pratfalleffect

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Consistency is, I think, a much more useful skill than we necessarily give it credit for, compared to things like inspiration or talent with prose. Even saying "I'm going to write three lines a day" and sticking to it is worthy and impressive: the brain is like a muscle that way. You got this!
I fully agree with this. The more you do something, naturally the more comfortable you become with it. I think I need to take some of the pressure off of myself for the outcome and really just enjoy the process of learning and writing more! Thanks for the encouragement! Hope you are finding your own way of building confidence too, whatever that looks like for you!
 

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Ooh, I got one that at one time was all that kept me writing: Give yourself permission to write utter crap. Nobody has to see it unless and until you've rewritten, revised, edited, and started over, and it's not crap any more.
 

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When I switched briefly from research to teaching, my mentor--a wonderful woman, passionate about education--helped me tremendously. I remember one exchange very distinctly. I was scared about teaching, and I said something like, "What if I make a mistake?" or "I'm scared of messing up" or something like this. She said, "You will. You will make lots of mistakes."

She said it because it was true, and because it doesn't matter. She said it and it really, really helped me. I was not only free to make mistakes, but everyone expected me to, and everyone else had as well.

I did make lots of mistakes.

Writing is the same. Don't worry about it. :) Jump in. We've all made lots of mistakes.
 

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Hi Friends! I am new to AW and new to the writing world so I am trying to do as much as I can to learn about the process. It's been so cool to see people share about their experiences with writing and seeing the questions people bring to this forum. I've found it to be so helpful. I keep catching myself doubting myself and thinking I'm silly for trying to write a novel when I have absolutely zero experience in this field. I'm a social worker, working on a mental health unit in a prison for my career but I have always loved reading and writing for fun. I am obsessed with storytelling which is probably why I was drawn to a career field where I get to hear people's life stories on a day-to-day basis. Does anyone have any advice for someone just starting out with pursuing writing seriously? Appreciated in advance!
It sucks that writing a book is one of those things that you have to practice to get better at (from beginning to end, not just writing a bit). Worse, it's one of the more time-consuming laborious tasks to practice (for most people), especially if you're new, so it's like saying you want to learn how to build houses, and the only way to learn is to build an entire horrible house, learn from those mistakes, and repeat until you have a house that passes code.

Did you pour your foundation bad and not realize it until the roof collapsed? Yeah, that happens when you're learning to build houses. (Except it doesn't, because no one learns to build houses like that. But it totally happens when writing a book and finding out after you've finished that your plot is too weak.)

All that to say, buckle up, be ready to watch the roof cave in a few times, and don't beat yourself up about it. And you don't have to start over with a new house/ book each time, edits and revisions are a thing ... but if you tinker too long and never start the next one, you often can't see how to do better if you keep clinging to something too fundamentally flawed. (Or not, it's a free country, tinker as long as it brings you joy. One rule of writing can be "do what works for you.")

So yes, read all the books on writing and plot and editing, watch webinars, etc., but know that the biggest learning curve may be figuring out your own brain and work habits. Knowledge is great, but unlike mixing concrete and nailing up drywall, there's endless ways to endless ways to write a book, and no one else can tell you how to do it. We can suggest a ton (read, read, read) but only you can experiment to see what works for you.
 

pratfalleffect

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Ooh, I got one that at one time was all that kept me writing: Give yourself permission to write utter crap. Nobody has to see it unless and until you've rewritten, revised, edited, and started over, and it's not crap any more.
This is excellent!!
 

pratfalleffect

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When I switched briefly from research to teaching, my mentor--a wonderful woman, passionate about education--helped me tremendously. I remember one exchange very distinctly. I was scared about teaching, and I said something like, "What if I make a mistake?" or "I'm scared of messing up" or something like this. She said, "You will. You will make lots of mistakes."

She said it because it was true, and because it doesn't matter. She said it and it really, really helped me. I was not only free to make mistakes, but everyone expected me to, and everyone else had as well.

I did make lots of mistakes.

Writing is the same. Don't worry about it. :) Jump in. We've all made lots of mistakes.
There is so much truth to this and it is so relatable. I think we all hold ourselves to such high standards. I always try to prompt myself with the "what would you say to a friend in this situation" activity which is a good reminder to give yourself kindness!
 

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Hi Friends! I am new to AW and new to the writing world so I am trying to do as much as I can to learn about the process. It's been so cool to see people share about their experiences with writing and seeing the questions people bring to this forum. I've found it to be so helpful. I keep catching myself doubting myself and thinking I'm silly for trying to write a novel when I have absolutely zero experience in this field. I'm a social worker, working on a mental health unit in a prison for my career but I have always loved reading and writing for fun. I am obsessed with storytelling which is probably why I was drawn to a career field where I get to hear people's life stories on a day-to-day basis. Does anyone have any advice for someone just starting out with pursuing writing seriously? Appreciated in advance!
Wow, your profession already sounds interesting. I feel like you could build a lot of different characters from your experience.
 

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Hi Friends! I am new to AW and new to the writing world so I am trying to do as much as I can to learn about the process. It's been so cool to see people share about their experiences with writing and seeing the questions people bring to this forum. I've found it to be so helpful.
Welcome, and yay that you're finding this place helpful!
I keep catching myself doubting myself and thinking I'm silly for trying to write a novel when I have absolutely zero experience in this field.
Not silly at all. Everyone starts writing with zero experience; we're not born with three trunked novels stashed in our nappies. Writing is a craft that can be learned. And writing is, or at least ought to be, fun!
I'm a social worker, working on a mental health unit in a prison for my career but I have always loved reading and writing for fun. I am obsessed with storytelling which is probably why I was drawn to a career field where I get to hear people's life stories on a day-to-day basis. Does anyone have any advice for someone just starting out with pursuing writing seriously? Appreciated in advance!
Practice, practice, practice by writing, writing, writing. Learn, learn, learn by reading, reading, reading (novels; other people's stories and critiques of those stories; how-to-write books; discussions on writing). Get feedback on your writing when you're ready.
 

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I highly suggesting writing fanfiction, erotica, or anything else with zero barrier to readers. I can't tell you how much a nice comment on a piece of something that I wrote picks me up when I'm struggling with my novel.
Apologies, I misread your intent.

I'd agree that fanfic is very freeing, and lets you focus on one chosen aspect of the craft while being wholly free of having to worldbuild or create characters (because they already exist!). But I disagree that erotica is without barriers to readers: it's a demanding genre like any other and requires just as much skill, dedication, and perfection as any other piece of writing intended for paying readers.

ETA Though I think one has to be careful where one posts free erotica for readers because the Sex Police are out there banning books and stuff....
 
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kitkatt33

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I'd agree that fanfic is very freeing, and lets you focus on one chosen aspect of the craft while being wholly free of having to worldbuild or create characters (because they already exist!). But I disagree that erotica is without barriers to readers: it's a demanding genre like any other and requires just as much skill, dedication, and perfection as any other piece of writing intended for paying readers.
Allow me to clarify. I meant posting erotica on the internet for people to read for free.
 

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Allow me to clarify. I meant posting erotica on the internet for people to read for free.
Ah, but that goes for any genre, doesn't it? You can post fantasy or murder mystery or memoir or anything you like for free on display sites like Royal Road, yes?

I agree that if you're posting anything, anywhere, free, for readers, without expectation of criticism (constructive or otherwise) it can be very freeing and can build one's confidence up to taking things to the next level and asking for reader feedback.
 

kitkatt33

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Ah, but that goes for any genre, doesn't it? You can post fantasy or murder mystery or memoir or anything you like for free on display sites like Royal Road, yes?

I agree that if you're posting anything, anywhere, free, for readers, without expectation of criticism (constructive or otherwise) it can be very freeing and can build one's confidence up to taking things to the next level and asking for reader feedback.
Correct. Fanfiction and erotica were the two that first came into my mind. I didn't mean to single erotica out.
 

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There is a saying that goes; "a master has failed more times than a beginner has even tried."

My belief is to become good at anything, it is a matter of learning to embrace the fails as learning opportunities to get better. When it comes to writing, a lot of the learning and crafting is a solitary activity, but it is when we get other peoples' eyes on it we will learn where our actual weaknesses are. That can be very discouraging, but if embracing it, we can learn to become better, and both our skill at taking critique grows and our skill as a writer grows. As both of those grows, the confidence grows with them. :)

Well, some are born with the belief they are god's gift to mankind and confidence pouring out their ears. But the chance they will learn enough to become good is pretty slim.
 

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On the subject of mistakes, I like to recall an exchange from a flute master class I attended once:

The flautist was working with a student on a particularly tricky piece and she was struggling through a passage with lots of advanced techniques. He stopped her and said, ā€œYou made some mistakes.ā€ Of course she looked a bit distraught, but before she could say anything else he jumped back in with, ā€œThatā€™s exciting!ā€ (Heā€™s a British man, so imagine that with an accent, as well as some surprisingly enthusiastic arm waving.) Everyone laughed and he went on to talk about how making mistakes should be a fun part of the creative process, every new wrong thing is something to learn from, an exciting opportunity to make something better.

I try to remember that moment when Iā€™m writing too, and trying to apply it to rejection as well (though Iā€™m not great at taking my own advice here). If nothing else, it makes me smile to think about him, and usually breaks me out of a funk.

Everything is an opportunity, and ā€œThatā€™s exciting!!ā€ :hooray: