uninentional act of violence by hero

[Sapphire135]

My WIP is a regency era romance with a hero who is a physically and emotionally scarred veteran. The emotional part does not manifest in any really dysfunctional ways, except that he is quiet and reserved and has lived out of society by himself for awhile on his country estate.

The first night he spends with the heroine, however, she tries to wake him from a nightmare and as he comes awake he grabs her by the throat.

He does not ultimately hurt her. It only lasts a few seconds. But he is horrified that he did it. It scares him to death and it is a turning point in their relationship as far as him opening up to the heroine about what really happened to him in the war.

I am starting to get worried, however, that perhaps that one act will offend or upset readers too much. It is unintentional. It last only seconds. And it leaves no marks. But still, it is him grabbing the heroine by the throat.

Does anyone have any feedback on this? Does this sound too upsetting of an action for a hero? I considered changing it so he grabbed her by the wrist, but this is not as effective. I just can't make the hero as appalled with himself after grabbing her wrist as he is by grabbing her throat.

 

[Marlys]

No, it wouldn't bother me. And I'm reasonably certain I've seen that sort of thing before in romances, so I don't think it will be a problem.

 

[Sapphire135]

No, it wouldn't bother me. And I'm reasonably certain I've seen that sort of thing before in romances, so I don't think it will be a problem.

Thanks Marlys! I am torn about it. It sets up a lot of what happens in the final 1/3 of the book, but the hero is such a quiet, gentle guy and I don't want anyone to think he is an abuser.

 

[Ann_Mayburn]

Nope, I've seen this happen a lot in the military contemp romance that I read.

 

[ElaineA]

Yep, I've read similar scenarios in more than one regency and it didn't bother me at all. You've got a veteran of the war in a time where they didn't deal with PTSD. It's pretty understandable and believable to me.

 

[Jules Court]

I'm another one who says it wouldn't matter. I think it's something that can be common with PTSD.

 

[Sapphire135]

Nope, I've seen this happen a lot in the military contemp romance that I read.

Thanks Ann!

Yep, I've read similar scenarios in more than one regency and it didn't bother me at all. You've got a veteran of the war in a time where they didn't deal with PTSD. It's pretty understandable and believable to me.

Thanks ElaineA! I have never seen this scenario in a regency before. Do you remember the names of the novels where this was done? I would love to see how other authors handled it.

I'm another one who says it wouldn't matter. I think it's something that can be common with PTSD.

Thanks Jules!

 

[Ms.London]

I'm sure I've read romances with something along those lines in the past. It didn't bother me so long as it progresses the story and the hero is suitably appalled by it

 

[Sonsofthepharaohs]

I'm sure I've read romances with something along those lines in the past. It didn't bother me so long as it progresses the story and the hero is suitably appalled by it

The 'suitably appalled' is the important phrase here. Also the fact that it is involuntary. Those two things together should go a long way to evoking sympathy for your MC and avoid anyone perceiving him as an abuser.

 

[gingerwoman]

It will bother someone, and they will write a bad review, which will intrigue other people who will buy your book because of the angry review.

I think we all need to realize that whatever we write, if it has any success at all some people will love it, and some people will hate it.

Stephen King says he has become convinced that what is at the root of all bad writing is fear.

So maybe it's more important to go with the truth of your story, rather than worry about the people who may choose to be offended, or hate it, or misunderstand.

Yes if you go with that scenario, you will be called out for it by someone. No matter how well you explain why it happened, someone will be offended if enough people read it.

 

[GeekTells]

It will bother someone, and they will write a bad review, which will intrigue other people who will buy your book because of the angry review.

I think we all need to realize that whatever we write, if it has any success at all some people will love it, and some people will hate it.

Stephen King says he has become convinced that what is at the root of all bad writing is fear.

So maybe it's more important to go with the truth of your story, rather than worry about the people who may choose to be offended, or hate it, or misunderstand.

Yes if you go with that scenario, you will be called out for it by someone. No matter how well you explain why it happened, someone will be offended.

<snip>

+1

I'm a big fan of telling the story you want to tell, accepting the consequences (both good and bad), and letting your readers take care of themselves.

 

[BeeGem]

The scenario is believable to me and you're obviously not treating it lightly, so I wouldn't have a problem with it.

 

[Deb Kinnard]

I'd have no problem with it either. Didn't Laura Kinsale do something similar with her post-CVA hero in one of her historicals? I'm not sure I'm remembering this correctly. Break the rule and do it well and I'll be sobbing all over your pages.

 

[Sapphire135]

Thanks everyone! Whenever I hit a brick wall with one of my stories, I go back to see if I went in a wrong direction somewhere along the way. Right now I am stuck at this scene, so was starting to have a feeling it might not be right. Right how, there hero - after being horrified that he had put his hands on his new wife in such a way - tells her that it is better that she go to her own room; that he can't be trusted with her. But now I am thinking that maybe they should stay together the rest of the night? I don't want him to come off as sending her away as if she is the one who has done something wrong.

 

[V.J. Allison]

Like others, I've read books with something similar happening too, and I agree, as long as he's really appalled by it and tries to control it in the future, it adds to the story.

 

[BeeGem]

Thanks everyone! Whenever I hit a brick wall with one of my stories, I go back to see if I went in a wrong direction somewhere along the way. Right now I am stuck at this scene, so was starting to have a feeling it might not be right. Right how, there hero - after being horrified that he had put his hands on his new wife in such a way - tells her that it is better that she go to her own room; that he can't be trusted with her. But now I am thinking that maybe they should stay together the rest of the night? I don't want him to come off as sending her away as if she is the one who has done something wrong.

That doesn't come across as "sending her away as if she is the one who has done something wrong" to me. He wants her to be safe and he doesn't think she's safe with him, so he thinks it's better she sleeps elsewhere that night. I can understand that. I can also see how him wanting to send her away but her refusing to go could work too, depending on where they are at in their relationship.

This sounds (based on what I've read here so I could be completely wrong) like it is an important point in their relationship development so I would go with whichever one rings truest in that sense. If you think it's more realistic for her to sleep elsewhere, go with that.

 

[slicing_angel2003]

I don't see anything wrong with the scene as you've described it. As far as sending her to another room for her safety that seems reasonable to me. If this scene is in his POV it would be easier to write as if he is doing this for her safety. It might be trickier for you if you're writing it in her POV. She might not fully understand that she didn't do anything wrong and the reader could get confused.

As it was said above this does seem like an important moment in their development. Each couple is different (that's why we love them) so you should go with what feels the most right to you.

 

[Lil]

I'm not bothered by his sending her away for her own safety, but I was wondering why he doesn't remove himself instead? It seems more chivalrous somehow.

 

[Sapphire135]

Thanks everyone!

The heroine is in the hero's bed. He tells her that she had better go back to her own bedroom (which adjoins his) and if she would rather remain in his bed then he is going to sleep in his dressing room.

He tells her that he is doing it to protect her, so she understands his thought process, but, though she goes back to her room, she does not agree with his reasoning. She has more faith in him than he has in himself.

As for POV, it is told in both the hero and the heroine's POV.

 

[Deb Kinnard]

I might want her to push back a bit. Yes, sending her away is a high act of love on his part. But what's the highest form of love on hers? Refusing to be sent away? Taking a stand? Making her own choice?

You alone know your story, but it might be good for you to open a new document, canoodle some, write the scene "as though" she pushes back, or doesn't push back but acquiesces quietly. Then re-read your original file and see if any canoodle works better for your story.

 

[Sapphire135]

I might want her to push back a bit. Yes, sending her away is a high act of love on his part. But what's the highest form of love on hers? Refusing to be sent away? Taking a stand? Making her own choice?

You alone know your story, but it might be good for you to open a new document, canoodle some, write the scene "as though" she pushes back, or doesn't push back but acquiesces quietly. Then re-read your original file and see if any canoodle works better for your story.

It's funny you mention this because in the first draft of the scene I wrote she refused to leave and he acquiesced. It just didn't work for these two characters so I wrote it with her reluctantly agreeing to go back to her room. It works better that way. Their breakthrough as a couple comes a little later when he opens up to her about the war. If she stayed in his room they would reach some sort of resolution sooner.

Thanks for your input!

 

[Deb Kinnard]

I'm glad you canoodled that scenario. If it doesn't work for your story, it simply doesn't.

In LOVE ONLY KNOWS, I tried to write my characters to act and think a certain way that's consistent with my earlier books. They simply wouldn't do it. They dug in their little black and white heels and refused to budge. So I set 'em free and I got a story out of it.

Story rules. If it doesn't work for your story, kick it to the curb.

 

[Carrie in PA]

Just to echo the others ~ it wouldn't bother me if it does bother him. If he's appalled and remorseful, I'd be sympathetic.

 

[CharlieLyons]

I agree with what most people are saying here.

A hero who is emotionally scarred is attractive. Let's face it, nobody likes a perfect hero. It also pulls double duty of letting us know how tough your heroine is (does she go running or does she try to get to the bottom of his behavior). We LOVE a heroine who is willing to fight for her man.

Violence in stories should push the plot along. It sounds like this is the case in your story.

To quote earlier posters, if he is suitably appalled - especially for a man of that time period and place - it is okay. Be sure to have the characters behave in a realistic fashion, though. Readers only really question stuff when they have to and ask themselves "Why'd they do that that?"

If your characters act the way real people would in that situation, there should be no problem. If they don't, we need a legitimate reason why.

That being said, someone else mentioned that there will always be a reader who hates what you had the hero do. It comes with the territory. You have to be true to the story. If you have doubts though, send it to a trusted beta-reader. They can help you move things around while still preserving the message you want to send.

 

[Sapphire135]

Thanks everyone! I appreciate all of the feedback.