How supportive is your spouse/so?

[Kate Thornton]

I have a very supportive DH (married 28 years.) We split the cooking (he's a great cook) go out to eat when we feel like it and both work outside the home full time. We have a housekeeper once a week. We both have office areas - separately- in the house (mine is in the guest room) I write in the evenings and in the early morning. He usually watches his favorite TV or is online consulting (he's a web developer) in the evenings. We still find time to sit outside every evening for a while with the pets and discuss our days and our plans. He goes to book signings with me. He makes my life so much easier, and I hope I do the same for him. We'll be retired in 2 years, and both have disabling medical problems.

He never reads my stuff, but that's okay - I have other beta readers. He is proud of my successes, and distracts me from my failures. I'm a lucky duck.

 

[David Erlewine]

grass greener

I have no doubt that when I retire, even assuming I have my health, no PT job, etc., I will find 507 reasons not to write every day.

 

[Bubastes]

I found this post by author Tess Gerritsen about this very topic. At least we're not alone, and even success may not prevent people from raining on our parades:

http://www.tessgerritsen.com/blog/2006/07/26/only-another-writer-would-understand/

 

[TwentyFour]

My man says he will read my stuff if I get it published. I take that as a big step since he never reads anything I write now.

 

[crypticquill]

My ex used to burn my writings and journals. He used to tell me that I was a rotten writer.

And thankfully he's an ex now.

My ex-husband new I was a writer and how passionate I was about it, because we have known each other since I was 13 and he was 16 (freshman and junior in high school). I wouldn't really say he was "supportive" of it, but he didn't discourage it. He acknowledged the fact that I was a writer. However, at that time, I was also in college and working, so I wasn't writing as much as I do today.

Today, my s.o. is more supportive that I could have ever asked for; however, since moving in with him, I've learned that he's not "non human," he needs attention, too, haha, so I stop all writing when he gets home (unless I'm trying to meet a tight deadline, in which case he understands). This helps in two ways - one, he gets attention when he's home, i.e., we get couple time, and two, it keeps me on a "work" schedule so that I'm not at this computer 24 hours a day.

As far as suggestions for coping go...I don't know what to say. I don't know how to cope with that. If you're writing at night, I'm assuming you're somewhere else during the day, so it's not like you can write during the day and not at night, right?

 

[crypticquill]

You know what's funny is, a lot of times your spouse, deep down, doesn't want you to be published, because he/she is afraid he/she will lose you.

Haha, on the other hand, my s.o. keeps asking, "When are you going to really get started on that memior so I can quit work?"

 

[Stacia Kane]

Huh. Mine says he's supportive. He's very proud of the sales I have made and always tells me I'm talented, etc.

Of course, trying to get him to read anything I've written is like pulling teeth. He gets grumpy when I spend too much time working instead of watching TV with him or whatever. He always says he's going to take the kids out for a while so I can work or whatever, but generally doesn't actually do it.

So while the verbal support and encouragement is wonderful...the actual work of being supportive isn't there.

 

[crypticquill]

Of course, trying to get him to read anything I've written is like pulling teeth. He gets grumpy when I spend too much time working instead of watching TV with him or whatever. He always says he's going to take the kids out for a while so I can work or whatever, but generally doesn't actually do it.

Well, on that note, mine will read something if I print it out and physically put it in his hands, but if it's still on the computer, or published somewhere online, he skims. Or, he'll read the first paragraph, maybe two, and say, "Great!"



And as far as saying he'll take the kids out so you can get some work done, when he does do it, does it ever make you feel rushed? If I need to do some work during the week nights or weekend to meet a deadline, mine will usually go hang out with a buddy to "let me work." But the minute he walks out the door, I feel like I'm being rushed, and I'm usually not very productive.

 

[kuatolives]

I prefer the single life, for now. I sleep around. I travel. I write. I just spent two months in egypt where I wrote most of a novel floating down the Nile. (amusing considering the setting for my book is blocks away from my house back in north america). In Sharma El Sheik (tip of the Sinai) I met a Russian girl who didn't speak a word of English. While we romped around in that hotel for two days I showed her my work; never criticized it once.

 

[scarletpeaches]

I have no significant other.

The voices in my head are enough for me.

 

[crypticquill]

I prefer the single life, for now.

In all honesty, it would probably be better for all parties involved if I were single, haha. Don't get me wrong, I love my S.O., but I wasn't looking for him. I'm fine when I'm single. My @$$ can grow to this computer chair without me ever having to worry about spending quality time with someone, haha.

However, I tend to be seriously anti-social sometimes, so...take the above with a grain of salt